What Is Your Relationship With Money Really Costing You, And How Can Lightening Up Help?

Hello, everyone, and thank you for joining us yet again at the Lighten Up Project. My name is Malcolm Grissom. I am the Stand Up CEO and founder of the World Laughter Organization, and I have another special guest for you today. Our society is unfortunately run around money and finances, and it's all very capitalistic. And how much money you have determines where on the hierarchy you fall. Our next guest is going to be talking about the relationship with of money and play and humor, and she's going to be talking about some personal things with her family and and she's you're just gonna love it. You just have to stay tuned. So, Marina V. Painter is she is a CPA. She's been a CPA for years and years. I mean, like before dirt was invented, she was a CPA. She as her her current viewpoint is all about the trusted tax allies and helping us learn how to save money with taxes. Save money with taxes because, hey, we don't want if the less money we have to give away, that means the more money we have for our families, for our love, for everything else. So, please welcome Marina V. Painter.

Marina V. Painter: Hi, Malcolm. It's nice to meet you. Thank you for inviting. Very good to be here and lighten up this whole subject for you. Yes.

Yes, lighten up the money talk. So, the first thing that I would like to do is we're gonna play. We're gonna continue our game of Two Truths and a Lie. So, I am going to I asked Marina some truths and a lie, and I will give that to you, and then throughout the interview, you can go ahead and put on your detective hats and see if you can guess which one is the lie. That will be revealed at the end of the podcast, the end of the episode. So, some things about Marina. Well, she is very, very smart, and she's very, very commanding, which makes her intimidating. So, number one, truth number or number one is she is intimidating. Number two is she is also optimistic. She's also optimistic. And number three is she lives her life and teaches her family to live their life through all around surrounding grit, determination, and integrity. Those values: grit, determination, and integrity. So, once again, she's intimidating, she's optimistic, and her values, her core values, are grit, determination, and integrity. Marina, would you join me in 20 seconds of spontaneous laughter?

Marina V. Painter: A little scary, but sure. I'm a little intimidated now myself here. I'm intimidating. All right. I don't know if I can do 20 seconds, but I most definitely can try.

Okay, okay, that's good. Okay, let's let's try it. One, two, three. Yeah, I

Marina V. Painter: Yeah, I guess I I got my laugh out. I don't know if it was 20 seconds, but it was kind of funny. I could do I didn't know I could do that. Here you go. Learned something new about myself on this Wednesday.

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. That's what the Lighten Up Project's all about: discovering connection.

Marina V. Painter: Well, I feel a whole lot lighter now. I'm ready to go.

All right. All right. What what's your connection with laughter?

Marina V. Painter: Well, laughter is one of the outlets for you as a or should be one of the outlets for you as a person, right? Because life can be very daunting if you don't have life, and and and and laugh and laughter and joy and all those things that come along, right? Because you know, we sometimes forget that today's difficult and the things that sometimes the, you know, walls are coming crashing and, you know, real life happening, boy, do we know when real life happens it really happens. But, you know, tomorrow's another day, right? Perception is your reality, so it's the it's the lens you're looking through will determine your life and your perception of it at the current moment.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Is there a joy that you've you experienced when you were a kid that you experience now?

Marina V. Painter: You know, before I answer that question, it's kind of interesting because I don't know if people realize or can define joy versus happiness. Like what is happy, what is joy? Does anybody think about it? Did you ever think about it?

No. No, not at all.

Marina V. Painter: No, what So that's why I wanted to answer the question, before I answer, I wanted to assign the definition of joy and definition to happiness. Sure. Happy is external. Something makes you happy. You condition yourself upon something externally. Joy is a state of being internal, profound, even though minor, right? But profound. And a lot of people don't realize it. So joy Joy is your internal state of being. And when you get to the point of life when you're joyful inside, anything external becomes just temporarily. Like that will It's It's in motion. The The word emotion that we get from joy, and there is a It comes from a Latin word energy in motion. So the emotion is the is the energy that goes through you, that that passes through you, but it's all temporarily. At the end of the day, your state of being defines the way you live your life. Joy, happiness, laughter comes with it. But you have to learn how to do that because otherwise, you become Debbie Downer indefinitely, and nothing ever help, you know, helps, and everything is always bad, right? It's That's why we have glass full, glass half empty, glass half full, but you're the one that assigns the meaning to everything that happens in life.

Before you answer the question that I asked earlier about joy, because you gave that definition, I'd like to ask you another question. So now, let's consider laughter. I love your definition of internal versus external. So, laughter, is laughter part of joy, or is laughter part of happiness?

Marina V. Painter: Well, laughter is anything external or internal, right? It's your output to the perception and the rationalization of what you're experiencing. So, it's external or internal. And I'm not saying that happy is not good. Happy is good. We need to design and create our life in a way that things make us happy and add joy to us, right? So we can enrich our life experience. That's why the world of finance, right? In my world is people get apprehensive and they kind of shut it down because your meaning and definition of money, success, and all those things that drive the economy, right? That's why it's it's it's it's a subjective perspective that people have, and that's the meaning that people assign to money, right? But again, money is great. If you don't have money, and you can't, you know, help church out to build a whole new wing, then you can't help it. And it's a great cause you can have, right? It really is your perception. Money has great power, as long as it's used properly like anything else. You know, people sometimes think that, cause again, I've been doing it for a long time, I've seen a lot of people, I've dealt with a lot of business owners of different industries, different countries, different backgrounds, just and that's what I love, right? I get to experience all those great lives through other people, and and and bring value to their lives, doesn't matter what kind of walk of life they have. But what's interesting is that your financial blueprint, it doesn't matter where you come from. If you come from money, if you don't come from money, if you are inheriting money, if you making your own business or building your own business, making your own money, it doesn't matter. But how you look at money in the relationship you have to finances, psychologically, that will that will define you how you're going to do in life. Ironically, I see it day in, day out. People that think that money is bad typically are people that don't

have don't don't have the finances, unfortunately. But that's the reality of it. So if we just assign new meaning to finances and what money can, all the laughter that money can bring to you, and not in the sense that now you can buy expensive watch, or a boat, or something, in a sense, all the great power it gives you to help the world, help the hunger in the world, help the church that you belong to, right? To to make somebody's life better around you, that's the great power about it. And the laughter, the joy, the the happiness, all of the above comes with it. It's what you do with it. But if you're not a good person in the in the first place, right? And you now have all this power and money, those are the people that get published, and that's what that's why we develop the perception of those people. I know a ton of really, really wealthy people and then the most generous people that I've ever seen. It really is not the money; it's what you do with it.

Right. Right. It yeah, money money is just it's just just energy. So it's how you use that energy.

Marina V. Painter: Yeah, absolutely. Tool, energy, it's all all of the above. That it gives you the certain things that, you know, it does make life easier, right? When you don't have to struggle to buy diapers for your kid, life becomes a little easier.

Tis true. Tis true. All right. So now, what is one joy, or is there a joy from your childhood that you experienced in your childhood that you're reconnecting with now?

Marina V. Painter: It's interesting, you know. I don't know if I'm reconnecting per se cuz I don't feel like I really never deviated from it. I was raised by very strong parents. My mother was a professional gymnast before she became a doctor. So in my in my family, there was no such thing as, Hey, let's express our emotions, or Tell me how you feel today. It just doesn't work. It's not a thing. So, so that's the one thing I am learning as I become And again, my parents are great and very strong, successful, driven, caring people. Like like the family value was number one in any generation of my family. It's always been a thing. It's the foundation. So I carry that with me for my own family. But what I am learning, the joy of being open and sharing the emotions. And it's okay to say, You know what? I'm not having a good day today. And that's okay because tomorrow is a whole different day, and tomorrow I'm going to make it different. Today I'll just go to bed early, and that's okay, too. So that's the one thing that that I had to learn for myself. But but we have to remember, too, different generation, right? Back then, it was post-war. People dealt with things differently. They had to deal with different things in the beginning with. So, and and that's okay, you know. It's it's it's ever-changing, and life is that that that that's the beauty of life, right? It's it's the it's. Always evolving. We are supposed to be evolving, right, and growing and making our life and life around us better for maybe next generation or their friends or our friends, right, our community.

Mm-mm. Mm. So, talking about today, what is what what's a small, overlooked moment of joy that that you think more people should pay attention to?

Marina V. Painter: Oh, gosh, don't get me started on this. You know, there's a joy in every moment of our life, right? And things like, unfortunately, nowadays, and again, I'm not going to get into any politics or anything like that, but but just people forget just to really take a breath, look around, and say, Thank you, God, for whatever it is I have today. That's why I always say to myself, you know, when people say, Well, how do you do that? or, you know, all the things I had to do in my life, first of all, you know, what you always have the choice of doing or not doing. Not doing something is also a choice you're making for yourself, right? Because, ultimately, at the end of the day, when you look back, you you tell yourself that you've done those things, right? When it was not easy, convenient, and all that peachy and rosy and wonderful, and you you know, but you make one baby step in the right direction. You keep moving, and and you'll get there at some point, as long as you keep moving, right? So, and that's what people say, like, How how how do you? Because I enjoy what it is I have today, because you know, and I always say that. It could be worse. It could be better. I'll take my crazy. I'm good, because you know what? At this moment, I still have the ability to to move around physically, mentally, right? Make the choices and decisions that I have to make to better my kids life tomorrow, my life tomorrow. And that's okay. And you know what? Have to laugh at yourself, because life happens. So, people, I I think that just people forget to look at the big picture. And unfortunately, what from what I'm seeing, something really big has to happen in their lives to for them to really get off this autopilot in life, and really pause for a second, say, Thank you. Thank you, God, or whatever higher higher power you might believe in. But thank you for everything we do have. We are blessed to have it.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Yeah. Yeah. And it, think a lot of it, it does come down to how we're raised. To you you mentioned the different generations, and so the different parenting techniques, and how how people showed up for their kids back in, you know, decades earlier, they're different than how people show up. I'm sure there's different Your parents How your parents showed up for you are different than how you show up for your kids.

Marina V. Painter: And it's natural in this, right? Like if I showed up the same way as my parents showed up for me, and I'm not saying in a negative way, I'm just saying that the times are different. My kids need different things from what I might have. And you know, back then, sometimes I always think about it too, if my mom taught me any different, it wouldn't be me today. I am who I am because of what the conditioning, you know, that conditioning I had back then. Mm-hmm. You know, and this is kind of a side story. I I was always curious, even when I was a kid, like little kid, I was always curious to look at people and and think, and I was probably like six, seven, I was a little kid, and thinking to myself like, why is it some people, like war vets that come home with missing limbs, and they're the most grateful people. They're just so pleasant and they're just great people. They never complain, they they never pity themselves, like nothing. And it's just so joyful and and and it's it's it's good to be around them, cause you can feel that strength internal from them. And some people, on the other hand, like women, break break a nail and life is collapsing. Like what is that? So I always like wondered, why is that? What makes people do what they do and don't do what they don't do? And later on in life, I was probably in my early 20s or 20-some years ago, and I remember hearing this or reading this book, and it was talking about, you know, if you're a level two person dealing with a level five situation in life, yeah, that's a big problem, right? Because that that's something you are not conditioned to do. You're not prepared to do that. If you're a level three person and dealing with a level three situation, it's not even a thing, right? You're just like another day. You just, you know, do it, checkmark, move on. If you're a level 10 person dealing with a level three situation, it's not even a thing at all, right? It's like, yeah, you know, just

sneeze, that's it. That's all. So it really goes back to your conditioning, to your mindsets, to the story that you tell yourself, your background, right? That's why I truly believe that the best investment you can make is investing in yourself, the knowledge, right, the growth, the personal growth, the evolution, because who you are today should not be who you are tomorrow, because you have to invest that that time, that resources. You are really It's not A lot of people don't know who they are. They don't know what they want from life. So how can you ask for something if you don't know what it is you want? So how you how do you measure the result if you're getting in a direction that you don't even know if it's the right the right direction to go?

That is a perfect segue to talk a little bit more about money, because there are a lot of people who grow up. So you you have your parent. I work with young people. I'm a career counselor, and I work with young people who are getting teenagers who are getting started with their lives. And there are and money is, you know, they they think they want money. They think they want a certain kind of job that's going to bring them a certain type of money or fame, success. So, what about, so for for the person who who thinks that the the listener out there who thinks that life is determined or You You've been talking a lot about money and, you know, when you have a lot of money, you can help people. So let's talk about people who don't have a lot of money, people who want more money, people who are in that mindset, that poverty mindset for a while, people who don't have joy about money. What would you say to your children or young people, especially, about finding joy in money?

Marina V. Painter: Life is only a reflection of the the work you put in. Because I have to say, right, people don't realize. I didn't come from money. I had I paid for my own school, both educations. I bought my first car, which was complete POS, excuse my French, with $3,000 of cash that I saved up having summer jobs. I I didn't take a dime from my parents. I came from zero to to my name. So I know what hard work is. I know what it's like to work full time, go to school full time for not not just years, for years, and raising children at the same time. Because my life happened when it happened. Oh, boy, did it happen. So when I was in my late 20s, father of my my children, who was one and four, passed away from cancer. Who was 33 at the time. So boy, do I know what it's like to go into your glamorous job that I, you know, I got, and putting my resignation and leaving and starting my own business and saying, What the hell did I just do? And how am I supposed to pay my bills and feed my children now, with zero? So, but you do it, right? It really goes back to how bad do you want it. But you have to have a plan. You can't just sit and and say, I want all these wonderful things, but not do anything for it. That that requires actually getting off and persevering and and doing what you don't want to do most of times. Because, you know, when you when you're doing hard things, you can't just say, I don't feel like, you know, doing it today. I have 103 fever. I'm not gonna do that today. I have an excuse. Nope! You push right through it, because if that's what you want, you'd you stop at nothing. But how much do you want it?

So what I'm trying to say, world is your oyster. I truly believe in it. I truly believe in it, but you need to know what it is you want. You can't just say, I want a million dollars in my account, but you need to have a game plan. How are you gonna get there? So what what kind of person do you need to be to get there? What kind of job do you want to have to be there? What kind of job do you want? What kind of field you want? Those decisions you have to make for yourself. Nobody can make them for you. Sometimes universe will, you know, nudge you in a certain direction. You might start out somewhere and you kind of get nudged in a certain direction, but you have to start somewhere. And things doesn't happen, like, things don't happen overnight. It's it's it's work in progress. And by by the time you think you got it all figured out, well guess what? Life is changing, economy is changing, the the trends are changing, the your field is changing. You have to change with it, right? So who who was that that said, It's not the strongest that survives or smartest. It's the most adaptive. And that's the reality of it, right?

But a lot of people just choose to dwell on things. And I understand it's hard. Well, I get it. I I get it. Life can be hard. But you know what? At the end of the day, you still have to make the the decision who you are and where you need to be, whether it's for your own sake, for your kids sake, for your legacy's sake, for anything, right? At the end of the day, when you're 90 years old and looking back at your life and saying, Boy, I'm proud of what I've done. Wouldn't that be nice? Whether, you know, whatever amount of money or no money, but the the legacy you're leaving behind, right? That's where I will want to be at some point of

I and that's I don't want any regrets. I teach my girls, by the way, my oldest is 19, her birthday is on Saturday, she's turning 19, she's in college. She's studying to be CPA as well, funny. My youngest is 15. But I always tell my girls, you know, live your life without regrets. Do the right thing, even if it's inconvenient right now, that's not what you want to do, but do the right thing because tomorrow that is not going to be a nagging feeling for the rest of your life because you haven't done something that you know that's not speaking truth to you as a person, to your core value. Just do the right thing.

Do the right thing, yeah. So what would you say to our listeners or to young young people who try to do the right thing, who work hard? There are people who are out there that are working really hard trying to make a living. They're trying to make not even a million dollars, not even $1,000, they're trying to make hundreds of dollars. They're trying really really hard, and all that they can see is that they're making this money and it's going away, and it's going away to the government or, you know, elsewhere in our society, our landlords, wherever. So they're trying hard, but they're not making it. How can that person find joy?

Marina V. Painter: Again, joy is internal, right? So look around for things you still are grateful for because if you're not sick, you're not dying from cancer, right? Because that's something you cannot reverse. You have no control over it. But the things that you do have in life, just because you're not, you know, you're meeting, you you you have enough to pay your rent and all of those things or put groceries on on a table, it's still joyful. But at the end of the day, you do need to take a hard look at the situation. Is that where you want to be for the rest of your life? So what needs to happen to change that? And I know it's easier said than done. But if that what you're doing is not working and most definitely not going to work long-term, you don't want to do it for the next 50 years. So what needs to happen? Because I'll tell you there there are solutions, even maybe including going back to school and getting a new skill or trade or something to better yourself and make you stand out from somebody else next to you. That is a solution. Maybe not what you want to hear, right? Because it's not just like falling in your lap and just solving all the problems, but that's the work that needs to be done, right? That is a solution. So by doing things that will better your skill set, that will separate you from everybody else in that field or choosing a whole different field, and that's okay too. But you have to move in some direction because what's that definition of insanity, right, doing the same thing and expecting different results? So if that's not the result you want, then something got to change, but you're the change. You're the one that needs to change it. And it's not easy. And the older you are, the harder it gets. I get it. Got it.

Very true. Very true. So if you So

Marina V. Painter: if I if you don't mind me just adding one more thing because you did mention about youth, and I'm extremely passionate about that, extremely, because my my girls are still young adults, right? And all their friends come to me for anything to do with life and financial advice and stuff like that. Not that I'm guru. I'm just saying that that's what happens in my life. But those are the those decisions have to be made when you're young, because it's a whole lot easier to do it when you're young, right? Because you don't have to do a do-over at some point of your life, which is not a big deal if you do, and it just makes it a little harder. When you have no responsibilities, when you're 18, when you're 17, when you have no responsibilities, you don't know what real life is like yet, right? You don't have, Oh, I have to buy diapers for my kids, right? Oh, I can't go to school at night because I have to watch my kid, kind of thing, right? I can't take my tests and exams, which I had to do, you know, I I really would time my kids nap time so I could take the exams online, and God forbid they'll wake up in the middle of my exam that is graded and my my grade depends on it. I've done it. But I I I know what it's like, so I'm not saying it because, you know, it's kind of cool to say those things. I've actually done it. So, but those things, and I'll tell you, back in the day when I was going through school, a lot of my friends would say, Well, why don't you just go and party with us? I never went. I never went because I knew that for me, the rest of my life means a whole lot more than having a party night that night. And I studied for years, and every night, and every weekend, getting my CPA exam passed. So, I I do know hard work, but what I'm trying to say is that to those young kids, right now is a really good time to really define, and it's hard to narrow down exactly what you want to be, but it's a really good time to really sit down,

shut the door, and think who you are, where you want to be, and really start making moves in the right direction for your life.

Marina, I know we have all of your information written down in our show notes, but I would like to give you an opportunity to go ahead and verbalize how people out here could reach out to you and connect with you and work with you.

Marina V. Painter: Any possible way, so we are on social media or I should- I am on social media, I should say. Marina V Painter CPA, so you can find me. My my company's Ally Tax Group that I've had for a really long time. Well, working with people, love helping people. Truly passionate about it. And my kind of baby, new avenue, but I'm truly, truly passionate about that, is Trusted Tax Ally, and that is where I'm going to explore all the options for people with advanced tax strategies. We just built this one plan just yesterday for a guy. He's making $250,000, saving him $146,000 in tax one year. Multiply by 10 years, that's he will never have to work past age 50 if he continues this plan for the next 8 years. Who wouldn't want to do that? But people are not familiar with those tools, and I, at this point of my life, I really would want to educate the general population on the tools. Tax code is not scary, was designed actually for us as taxpayers, as the, you know, people in the country, right? We just need to know how to use those tools properly, and I'm that that ally. That's why that word speaks to me. I am your trusted tax ally. I am truly here to help you, guide you in the right direction, to protect your wealth, protect your legacy, and build the future you deserve.

What's one thing that you would want our listeners to remember after the episode ends?

Marina V. Painter: Life is yours to make. Just because where you are now is not not ideal for you, tomorrow is another day. But you know what, that the analogy, right? If you like cherries, and you plant a seed for an apple tree, tomorrow you're going to have what? Apples, not cherries. So you have to plant that seed today and make that life that you want and desire now. Start that now because there's no worst day than tomorrow, right? Because those changes have to make have to be made today, and you're the only one that can make those changes. But just it's never too late. Just keep moving in the right direction.

All right. Never too late. Never too late.

Marina V. Painter: Never too late. Think about the guy, McDonald's guy. He was in his 60s, retired, built an empire. So who is there to say?

This is true. This is true.

Marina V. Painter: Never too late.

And we need an ally, especially when we're reinventing ourselves, when we're you know, if when we're in our 60s, it's very helpful to have an ally like Marina V. Painter.

Marina V. Painter: Very good. Well, thank you so much for having me.

sure. And thank you very much. And thank you everyone for tuning in to yet another episode. Please tune in next week as we bring yet another fascinating guest. But until next week, please remember: every smile can open a door, every laugh can open a heart, and every step can be a victory. Tune in next week. Thanks so much. Thank you, Marina. Bye, everyone.