How to Make Learning English Easier, More Fun & Less Overwhelming

Hello, folks, and welcome again to another episode of the Lighten Up Project. I am Malcolm Grisand, the stand-up CEO and founder of the World Laughter Organization, and you're not. I have yet another great guest. Oh, all my guests are great. I love all my guests, and you will love this guest equally as much because we have such a treat for you. We're gonna have such a wonderful conversation. I won't spoil it, but I will introduce our next guest. So she has been featured in the L.A. Tribune magazine and USA Today. She's multiple, meaning more than one international best-selling author. She's a speaker. She has for for years she has been helping people declutter both their minds and their spaces, and now she turns her attention to helping people declutter how English as a second language is taught, so that our newcomers who are learning English can boost their confidence and their earning potential and have fun while doing it. Please welcome my friend Kitty Andrews.

Thank you so much, Malcolm. We go back a long way, and I've been looking forward to this. Thank you for having me.

Wow, that's great. Thank you for joining us, Kitty. Hey, would you mind joining me and? 20 seconds of spontaneous laughter. That would be. I said that as a yes. He's laughing even before I say go. So go.

Should I be thinking of some of my boyfriends that I've had that that'll spur some laughter? Oh dear! Or Anything, anything, kitchen disasters. Oh dear! Oh yes, indeed, yes. We all need that.

Once you start, you can't stop.

Indeed, indeed.

Asked Kitty, you were. What is your experience with laughter?

Oh, in my experience with laughter has been that it's it will lighten up a room whenever it's it's used, and I find myself in a serious situation. Like, say for example, I might be traveling, and everybody, you know, you're checking in. Everybody at the front desk is all serious and doing their job, and all of this, and you just crack one little joke, lightens up everybody. Everybody smiles. Everyone is more comfortable, and you can almost feel everybody's blood pressure go down. You know, it's it it's a it laughter really is as as they say the best medicine. Yep, always always works.

Very true. So true. Has there been a time in your life when laughter has helped you in a moment of heavy emotion?

Yes, as a matter of fact, yes, I think you'll like this. You know, heavy, heavy emotion. My we're we're going back about three years, but my my father had passed, and I, even as the decluttering queen of yesteryear, I I had pretty much put gotten rid of a bunch of his his stuff and the rest of it I put in my storage locker because I just couldn't deal with it and then I knew that I was going to be moving out of that apartment building and in about three months and I said to my neighbor friend. I can't do it for some reason. I just have this huge mental block, and I can't do it. And so he agreed to help me. You know, an hour here, an hour there, and finally, I think he lost patience. And I say, we brought out one more big box, and I started picking things out of it one at a time, and he gives me a look. I don't even want to duplicate it; I'll frighten you. And he stands up and he picks up the box and upends it. We're in a parking garage behind my car, and he upends it. And at first I was horrified. There's no way I can go through all this, but I had no choice because it was going to have to either go in the box or go in the garbage, one way or the other. And we just both started laughing because we we knew that. Well, all right, I guess he has spoken. All right, I guess Kitty had better get moving on this. None of this one piece at a time kind of thing. And it was it was just so funny. It's it's it's almost too bad nobody was around to see it because I think we'd have had quite a few people laughing. Yeah, you had to be there. But if you've got a visual of this at all-a big two-foot by two-foot box and this very large man just upending it. Yeah, it was funny. So it certainly lightened up the. The speaking of your lighten up project certainly lightened up the mood of the. But you know what what was arguably a somber task of going through my father my father's possessions and I wasn't into it it it really it made all the difference in the world and I

still I still think of that and the upend method, and if I'm faced with something difficult that I have to do, and I just go okay, upend the box, even if it's just a mental box.

Oh, I love it! The upend method.

Yep, yep.

Since you mentioned lighten up. What does lighten up? What does that phrase really mean to you?

Oh, that is-it's funny. I was just thinking about this a couple hours ago. That, and I've always been-I'm one of one in 183 girls have are some form of autistic, and I'm one of them. One in 40 boys, one in 183 girls. So I've always been the serious one and an only child. So even I've had people tell me many, many times in my life to lighten up, and I can smile with the best of them and joke, but I've always been serious. And in the last two or three years, I've been more conscious of of being so serious and how it feels in my body and how it feels when somebody somebody cracks a joke and feel better. Okay, well, yeah, I'm getting. I think that once you get to a certain age, you you notice I don't say what age. Yeah, I think once you get to a certain age, you either realize or you should realize for your longevity that that is crucial to lighten up because those things that you thought mattered all of your life, you know what people are thinking of you, and am I going to mess up the next things? Should I even talk to that person? All of these things that were so so important, you know what? Nobody else is. They're worried about themselves. They're not. They're not thinking about whether you're going to mess up or not. So you might as well. What is it, Malcolm? Like now, put it and just just all right. Let the chips fall where where they may. And yeah, studies have some have shown that the older you get, the less you care. You do care, but you care less about whether something is incurably important, right?

So, what is what is something that gives you hope right now?

Certainly. that gives me hope. Maybe you could help me help me by clarifying that. Do you mean something in the world, or in my personal life, or anything in particular, or shall I just because I thought of something? So, so I do have an answer. If you don't.

Okay, I kept it open for a reason because I wanted to to hear your answer on that, your take on that.

Okay,

but if I were to narrow it down a little bit more, what Is something that what is something in your personal life that gives you hope?

Well, partly, but frankly, partly the the reasonably newfound ability to lighten up and let the and not worry about things so much because I find that it's opening doors. It's it's inviting ease and and flow, which our our coaching colleagues talk so much about, and and let the universe flow to you. And I've never really believed in all of that until until I did lighten up, and things are are easier. They do flow better, and a personal example of that would be how long do you have? I would like to share, if I could, so that's sort of my partial answer. There is that lightening up has has helped me personally because I it is I mentioned health before. Your heart can only stand so much stress, plain and simple. So after the age of 50, what what goes up? What goes up? Your risk of your risk of diabetes or heart attack or anything like that. And what's a major contributor? Stress, right? So if you do lighten up, then your oddness that research tells us that you will live longer. Now, I'd like to add a part two to that answer because sort of personal, but not personal. Personal, if you follow, the answer that came to my head was what gives me hope. Is I'm thinking of two of my clients. One has been my clients from my decluttering business, declutter the brain, and one of them she started with me. Oh golly, but 2019, and the the other one started about a year and a half ago, And both of them, I have said it. They're they're dear, wonderful people, and and there have been times where I have just I've just gone. I don't know if this is working, and if am I ever going to get through to either of them. Well, the the first one that when I started in 2019, she has undergone a massive turnaround just out of the blue in the last year because I've been talking more about about lightening up and letting go of the past, and now she is finally really taking it to heart, and she is just kind of shaking her head, saying, "I don't even remember what my

home looked like a year ago because it looks like a real home now. And the client who started a year and a half ago, I. didn't think she was ever going to remember to show up to one of our appointments. She's just she's blissfully happy go lucky and just forgets appointments or forgets to tests and things like that. And she's been showing up to calls now. Why does this give me hope? Partly, not necessarily because I've beaten it into them. But if you if you are patient with people, for example, if you're patient with with children or with anybody, if you are patient with people, and I realize that that has a limit. But if you're patient with people, and just let them know that you're there for them, and this goes so much with your with your work, your work, Malcolm, with with children, your platform with that, and educators, that if you if you are patient, they will that they will see and feel. Now the the person in question will see and feel this, and eventually they will turn around. Now it might not be while the teacher and the child. I know I'm kind of. Switch games here, but bear with me for a moment, won't you? It may not be while the teacher and the child are are working together. May not happen for another five years. However, that person will remember it sticks in their brain the patience and the kindness, and eventually, just a light bulb goes on, and oh, that's what she was talking about. Okay, that's why it's so important. For example, the the one client, yeah, now I really see that it's important that my house look good, or the other one. Now I really see that it's important that I that I show up for calls and and because I'm missing out if I don't. So I'd say that that is what that's what gives me hope. It gives me hope for myself as well, because we all feel discouraged every now and then about our efforts, especially if they're new efforts. As you know, I'm in a new effort now.

This is a new effort for you. So we're we're we're brothers here. We're brother and sister, and doing new things. And you can get discouraged, but if you have patience with yourself and say, "All right, knock off the perfectionism. It's going to flow. Everything is going to be okay. And have patience with yourself. Then that that will cause things to come to you, and and more importantly, make people want to be around you. Make people want to support you because you're because you're the most positive person in the room,

right?

Yeah. So I'd say that that's. I hope that answered your question.

Yeah, yeah, it sure did. Sure did. It answered my question and it brought up some other things. So I'm really excited to talk to you about your new venture. But before I, before we get to that, you brought up some wonderful things. First, about what I'm doing now. So now, as as a youth leader, as someone who's working with the youth, as someone who is creating this global project specifically for other leaders who work with youth, that is so important. the The patience, everything that you just said, the lightening up, all of that is so important, and what I do is my business, Laugh, Laugh, Play, Thrive, is specifically geared toward corporate, corporate America, and it's taking this these same ideas, like the applied improv is taking the play, it's taking the laughter, the need for that into the the workforce. It is so needed everywhere. Everywhere we need to create these atmospheres of lightening up of patience. Just this makes productivity better education, you know, because youth are they're going to learn more if they are, if they want to be in the space that that they're in, that's right. That's the first one. They need to want to be there in order to learn. Anyway, I could go on and on and on, but it's not about me. It's not about what I do. It's about you. So let's talk. I'm really curious to talk about the language and how you're working with the language. So first of all, what is your approach to decluttering How the English English as the second language is taught.

Thank you, Malcolm. And I didn't really when I started this only about a year and a half ago. I didn't come into it with the idea of decluttering. It's only within the last couple months, that I've realized that I that really that's what I'm attempting to do is declutter how the English language is taught, and not necessarily you you mentioned DSL. What I'm trying to build could filter down to how. How English is is taught to North Americans, for for lack of a better word, where where English is our first time. Yeah, but then that will be beyond my lifetime. What I'm trying to build, and actually, I can tell you a quick story about it. I can tell you exactly how it is. This gentleman who upended the box. Okay, he was. He is from India. He was my next door neighbor, and we became close friends. And one time, he said, "I'm going to be doing what we have in Canada: the IELTS language test to get your permanent residency, and I don't think you have something like that in in the states, or it's it's it's different if you do. Anyway, it's a big requirement to get your Canadian permanent residency. Is this language test in either English or French, one of our two official languages, and he said, "I cannot make sense of it. So I said, "Well, I can, I can help you because I'm a writer. I can do this. So I thought, and I said, send send me what you've got. Send me the materials. What they're asking you to do, and I took you wet, Malcolm. I looked at it and I couldn't make sense out of it. Somebody who was who got straight A's, A pluses in English all through now all through school, I couldn't make sense of it. So I said, it's going to take me figuring out what they're trying to say before I can help you. This is what I said to it, and after then I moved apartment buildings, and I and I thought of it again, and I started reading textbooks every morning at breakfast, just for a few minutes a day, reading textbook after textbook after

textbook, I've read at least 15, if not closer to 20. But let's just stick with 15, and every single one of them, I'm seeing, I'm saying to myself, this does not need to be here. This you shouldn't be covering this subject because the person has not mastered the first. Now we're not talking somebody who is learning the alphabet. Okay, we're talking someone at approximately middle school level. So approximately grade eight. Okay, so the textbooks, I feel like they're they're not teaching in order, and things are difficult to find and frustrating. And it's my my clients in decluttering business. Most of them were were full blown ADHD, which I am as well. And what are one of the one of the biggest hallmarks of ADHD is is impatience. Got to have it done yesterday. Want it done yesterday. I can't. I don't have time to look through all of this. Where are the colors? I can't find anything. I'll do it tomorrow. Okay, and tomorrow never comes. And that's the same thing with decluttering your home. You just get impatient, and you you just say you throw up your hands in disgust, and you stomp away, and look for the nearest wine bottle for not. And this is when I was looking textbook after textbook after textbook, and I went, "Well, this won't do. This just won't do, and the idea of developing a new educational system is-it has slowly grown in me until it has become a passion. And it was finally strongly encouraged by a coach of mine back in August, and he said, "Well, can he? I have two career paths for you. If you're getting out of decluttering, you can either be a comedian or you can write the textbook series. And I said, well, you know, the comedy circuit is pretty difficult to get into, but I can sure do a textbook. And so that is mentally, I'm designing it. I'm designing it on on paper as well. Little things, Malcolm, like color coding sections. If I'm looking for where the answer key is, I don't want to be even with bookmarks.

I don't want to be flipping through the through the book looking for something. If I'm looking for the module on writing, I want to be able to see right there. Okay, green is writing, and there is one textbook that's out there that is color is partially color coded, so it makes a huge difference. It. You hear the underlying impatience that I keep talking about, and that if that doesn't take it, that needs lightening up because you're not going to learn if you're impatient, frustrated, and if you have a partner that is saying, "Oh yeah, have you tried that before? That's not going to work. It just causes such emotional distress. And what happened with this fella was that he just he basically threw up and threw up his hands. Has he gotten his permanent residency yet? I'm not sure. He won't tell me, so I suspect not, because it's just over overwhelming, and everybody just the English is the global currency, especially with with the way the world is now. English is the global currency, so even if you're not immigrating from into North America, no matter where you are, English will serve you. It will make you more money. For example, if you're in the service industry in India, and you have a tourist who is asking you asking you for something, well, the tourist is going to remember you if your English is if you're communicating well. They will probably tip you more, but I'm grabbing at examples here of how it can make you more money. It can escalate your if you have more English in working with a major major software firm. The software firm in India, as a matter of fact, is named Cognizant. Well, the more English you have in that organization, the more likely you are to be promoted or or be sent to exotic places. English is the global currency, and everyone deserves, I believe, to to be able to master it. But I tell you what, I think that you've noticed as well in in our coaching industry how many times we'll look at at advertising copy and there's so much lots in

it. Do you notice that that the 60 words are used where 20 will do quite nicely. Thank you very much. Yep, and yeah, so that is where the decluttering idea has come to me over the last month or so. That wow, does this person really need to say three landing pages when one will do very nicely? Right. Right. So that's where the decluttering angle has come in.

Okay. Yeah. All right. Now, one of the greatest benefits. There are so many great benefits to laughter and play and lightening up, but one that comes to mind is courage and how laughter, because like you said, you you were talking about stress, and you know when we're faced with with difficulty. So so right now I'm putting myself in a someone an ESL students in their their place when they are asked to especially in public especially to speak in public but even if they are one on one and they are asked to speak in this different language that they're trying to learn. You know, there's talk about the the fight or flight, the cortex, the cortex, cortex. But I mean, the the stress that builds up, and you know, is and so in that moment, especially laughter or lightening up can be do wonders. So I've sort of I've helped answer this next question for you, but I'd like you to add on to it. So, how do you think laughter and play is really helpful in learning a language, Especially English as a second language.

How is laughter and play important in learning a second language? Well, and yes, you did answer part of it. You've taken to taken my firm the my first reaction. Is about reducing the stress, which is huge. Any time we're learning something, it's going to be where we're afraid of being mocked by others, where we have our own demons. But the older you get, the more you're a little bit afraid to learn something new, and the fear of judgment, judgment from yourself is worse than judgment from from anyone else. We could be our own worst critics, wouldn't you agree?

Oh yeah,

yeah. So lightening up the stress, and I think that if if learning material well, my coach who said you can either be a comedian or a or write the textbook. What I'm trying to do is do both. Now, when I had the decluttering for four years, I wrote and produced and and did 1500 videos, and then started started april 2, 2020. Just when COVID hit, my coach suggested start doing videos. You need visibility because we're not going anywhere for a while. And then, boo, I guess about a year and a half ago, I started doing the same thing with with English videos, one word per day, so it doesn't get overwhelming. And they're short; they're they're about four minutes apiece. And they always, I always crack a joke in there. It has a small but loyal following, and it's. I think if you make learning fun, just like when we were kids, making learning fun makes people the the fun and easy way. You said that in in the intro. If you make it fun, then people are more motivated to do it. If it's a chore, then then they won't. And sometimes even if it's fun and easy, they're like, "This is too easy. What's wrong? We can we can't help those people. We can only offer the product as it's only one word per day. It's being explained in the simplest, and I don't mean baby talk when I say simplest possible language. Here's another. I almost went off on a tangent there and I'll come back to that if if we have time in explain in simplest language possible that everybody is going to understand that they're not going to feel feel stupid and make it funny whenever whenever you can. It's not possible, but generally, if there is a, it may not be the jokes, but it's the feeling. And when you look at my videos, I believe that you'll see that it's it's lighthearted. Hi, I'm Kitty Andrews with your word of the day. You know, let's have let's have fun with this. Okay, lots of energy. Not this is this word, and this is how you pronounce it, and this is when you use it. No, nobody wants

to see that. People people want to feel enthused. Yes, and your your teachers, the leaders that you're helping with youth, that is what they bring to the to the venue, classroom, whatever is that enthusiasm. At least we hope they are. I hope that answered your question. Is just to make it make it fun, and again, it doesn't have to be stupid little giggles and face painting. It can just be the energy and the aura that you're producing. It is infectious. Laughter is infectious. I'm sure you've seen that in a video where the fellow is. He starts laughing at at his his iPhone on the subway, and suddenly the whole subway car is laughing. Right, it's infectious.

Okay, yeah, yeah, it definitely is. That that's why comedy clubs are so packed together.

Absolutely. Oh yes licensure. Any of those things are. Hey,

so we're winding down, and I have one more question I'd love to ask you. But before I get to that question, could you share with our audience how they could get in touch with you. How they could work with you and learn more about this?

Absolutely, I'm readily available on. I I publish educational. I publish educational pieces Monday to Friday. Super day, fun facts, a word of the day, something else which has just slipped my mind on Facebook at Kitti and Kitti Andrews, LinkedIn would surprise people, but there are people in corporate who want to elevate their English, and Instagram, YouTube, the channel is called Fluent and Fabulous. Fluent and Fabulous. It goes with the blonde hair, yeah. And yes, so the social, the YouTube, and I have an may I put out a five days a week, a short newsletter, which has all of those elements that come straight to your inbox. So you're not fighting with social; it's just always there.

Mmm

website is fluentandfabulous.com, and I just published yesterday my second blog, and they're short and sweet, easy to read, fast and get in, get out. You got your information, no fluff.

What is one thing that you'd like our listeners to remember when this episode ends? You shared so many gems, but what's one thing?

I'm going to go back. Well, actually, you said it right there, and you're thinking, huh? What do you mean? I said you said one thing. I used to be in my decluttering days. Was the company decluttered the brain? I used to be known as the One Lady. Why? Because my biggest word that I used all the time was the word 1o N E. Because when you get overwhelmed, especially if you're ADHD and you're prone to overwhelm, because all of these thoughts, all of these things that need to be done, and I am never going to get it all done. You just focus on one thing at a time. That's difficult, but train yourself, and you will. And the same thing comes with whenever you're learning something, or you may even be afraid to even walk out your front door because you're just so overwhelmed. Okay, we'll take that one step. What's your one step of going to walk out that door and lock the door? What's my next one thing? I just did this a couple days ago because I was in overwhelm. I still have to do it. My next one thing is to walk down the stairs out to the street, and you swap yourself slowly through it one step at a time, and then you feel the remember the little engine look good. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I have helped many clients in the decluttering business choose that, and that's what I'm doing with the English too. Is the I think I can, I think I can. Why? Because you just take it. How many Malcolm? One line, thing at a time.

All right, Kitti, finish this sentence for us, please. Healing doesn't have to be heavy because

we all have the power to lighten up.

Yes, all right. Thank you so much, Kitti Andrews. Thank you very much, audience, for tuning in yet again to another episode of the Lighten Up Project, please keep tuning in. Tune in next week. Go to Apple Podcast and subscribe, or any platform that you know that you use your that that you go for for podcasting and subscribe and rate us, please. We would love to know what you think of the program. And please remember this week that every smile can open a door. Every laugh can open a heart, and every step can be a victory. Kitti Andrews, thank you so much for joining us again, audience. Thank you so much. I've been Malcolm Grissom. I'll keep being Malcolm Grissom until next, and that's a wrap.

Thank you, Malcolm.