What Makes You Dance? The Question That Changed My Life

[00:00:04] I'm Adrienne Giffen. Welcome to Now Youre Talking, the podcast. I believe real conversation connects us in a distracted world. One of the greatest gifts you can give your family and yourself is your presence. Because leadership doesn't begin at work, it begins at home. This is your space to pause, to listen, to reflect.

[00:00:30] Your journey toward deeper connections starts right here. Today, I'm sharing the first episode in a special series called Seven Steps Back to You. Conversations designed to help you reconnect with yourself one step at a time.

[00:00:59] Do you believe that one question can change the course of someone's life? I do, because one question changed the course of mine. What was that question? Question was, what makes you dance? Decades ago, I was choosing between two jobs. I had two job offers. And I was struggling. I didn't know which direction to go. So a friend of mine said to me, A, come to Gambier, and the right decision will come to you. And so I did.

[00:01:29] And the first night, I woke up after having had a dream about my dad. And at that time, my dad had been gone for a very long time. He and I were dancing and joyful, fun dancing. And we were laughing. And so that was the image that I woke up with. I also, in the same dream, I was behind my dad's desk, cold calling. And the reason I received these two job offers was because of my ability to cold call.

[00:01:55] Being a cold caller is a talent very few of us have. I love it because it's all about connecting with people. And so I went out for a walk with my dog, Rox. And I just, I was praying. And I was thinking, what am I going to do? You know, which direction should I take? And I just kept asking myself these questions. And then a voice within me asked me loudly and clearly, what makes you dance?

[00:02:23] And I thought, what makes me dance? I thought, okay, I'm leaving recruitment. I'm going to take this other path. And then at lunch, over a glass of wine with my friend Kath, I said, oh, Kath, when I asked myself that same question, I picture myself dancing with my girls in the kitchen.

[00:02:45] And in order to continue to afford my house and this kitchen, I need to go into recruitment. And it was then that I decided that was, in fact, the path I was going to take. And that path led me to you. So my partner and I both made a great decision by bringing you on because you've been a success ever since you started.

[00:03:08] Well, you know, I love recruitment. And I never thought that that one small decision changed the course of my life because I fell in love with you. And I didn't anticipate that. It surprised the both of us. Yes. So now being a part of a blended family of seven, it really has changed everything where I thought my life would be. And so here we are.

[00:03:36] So you mentioned dancing with your dad in your first dream. Share with us a little bit about your relationship with your dad. Well, my dad had very strict rules about women. And he believed that women should be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. And I am a daughter between two brothers. And that was the role that I was supposed to play.

[00:04:01] And that's all that my dad wanted me to be. And so I struggled with that and really struggled with that. And it wasn't until I wrote my book did I actually forgive my dad for trying to keep me small and for not really understanding who I truly was.

[00:04:23] Well, I think you can give your dad partial credit for getting it partially right because you were barefoot and pregnant. You raised four beautiful daughters and he just wasn't alive long enough to see you become successful as a passionate business person and entrepreneur.

[00:04:44] And then partly that's why I have forgiven my dad. I know if he had been alive, I would have been able to have those conversations and he would have been able to see me.

[00:04:56] But, you know, at the same time, it took me writing my book for me to truly understand who I am and to understand that, you know, that statement that my dad told me over and over again and his expectations of me was really what I've come to realize more about him than it was about me. But that took a long time. And it was through writing my book that helped me have that that realization. So what is your purpose?

[00:05:24] My purpose is to, as I believe, where where pain is, purpose comes from from a level of pain. So that was painful for me to have those restrictions put on me where I knew within that really I loved business. I loved entrepreneurship. And and that wasn't something that my dad ever, ever saw.

[00:05:48] So my purpose is to help other women to go back and revisit some of the things that have been said to them, some of the beliefs that have been imposed upon them that they've taken on as their own truth and to sift and sort those truths and let go of some. You know, you know, because some of those truths that they work for us, but some don't no longer service and actually keep us small.

[00:06:17] So my purpose is to help women go back and really grow in self understanding in order to move forward and and go out into the world and be all they can be on their terms and to shine the light out in the world in their own way.

[00:06:40] So you've become a professional question asked through your executive recruiting experience, and you've been able to connect the dots as a result of those questions. How are those skills transferable to your new purpose? Well, because I believe that people have and women have the answers within. And it is my role to pull those answers out.

[00:07:07] You know, there's one thing if you tell somebody something that doesn't ever last. It's that self discovery and self understanding that helps women to really understand who they truly are. You know, because it as I've raised my children and grown a career, I've over the years, I lost myself. I lost myself in motherhood. I lost myself in the whole process.

[00:07:34] You know, one expectation, one responsibility, one crisis at a time. I stopped asking myself, who am I and what do I require? And slowly parts of me just slipped away. So what is the first step to getting started? Well, the first step. And so, you know, we started with a question and the impact that that very question had on me.

[00:08:03] So I am by next, the question that I'm going to ask people who are listening to this, what makes you dance? What makes you dance? Sit with that question and think about it and really ask yourself. And that's where we'll start next time. Thank you for sharing. That's a powerful question. So the next step that we'll talk about is uncovering.

[00:08:34] Thank you for listening. Join me next time for the next step in seven steps back to you. I'm Adrienne Giffen and you've been listening to Now You're Talking. If something in this conversation spoke to you, follow along on YouTube, LinkedIn or Instagram and subscribe or leave a review to help others find the show.

[00:08:59] Meaningful conversation can change how we see ourselves and each other. That's why I created Now You're Talking Board Game, a simple way to spark real conversation. If you'd like a way to start conversations like this with people in your life and be part of the movement to get people talking again, you can join the wait list for the game in the show notes. Let the conversations begin. Now you're talking.