Referral Ready: The Missing Step in Relationship-Based Selling | 039

Welcome to the Grand Connection Podcast, your home for grand growth through collaboration. This is your space to connect, create, and collaborate in a community of heart-centered entrepreneurs and change makers. Hosted by our community, this podcast brings collaboration to life. You will meet members who share their wisdom, offer insights and practical tips, and even interview each other. If you're ready for more clarity, stronger connections, and better results in your business, you are in the right place. Listen in, connect with us, and be part of something grand. Welcome

to the Grand Connection Podcast, where we explore grand growth through connection, creativity, collaboration, and grand giving. Today, we are having an important conversation about becoming referral ready, and I want to be honest about why this matters. I want you to make money. I want the heart-centered entrepreneurs in our community to build financial sustainable businesses that allow them and you to keep sharing your gifts. Many of us, including me, have had a complicated relationship with money. We may feel comfortable giving and supporting others, but less comfortable charging for our

work or selling what we offer. But wanting to earn money is not a bad thing for a business. It is necessary, and a healthy sale is an exchange of value. Someone has a need, and you provide something that helps them move forward. I always try to provide more value than the price someone pays. When I know an offer is genuinely helpful and worth the investment, I can feel good about inviting someone to buy it. The mindset of money and how to sell without feeling bushy can be a whole podcast series, but for today, I want to focus on one of the most natural ways to grow through networking: becoming

referral ready. That means being clear about the value you offer, having something people genuinely want, and building enough trust that people feel comfortable recommending you. Now, referral readiness helps us to connect, create, and collaborate more effectively. We connect to listen, learn, and build meaningful relationships. We create trust and relationships, develop ideas together, and shape products, services, programs, platforms, and processes that respond to genuine needs. We collaborate to exchange referrals, share opportunities, develop partnerships, and expand our collective

impact. And I see this relationship journey as a ladder. And at the Grand Connection in my trainings, I call it the Ascend Collaboration Ladder. Ascend is an acronym, and it begins with making authentic connection. Then we strengthen trust and discover alignment. C is cultivate referral readiness. E is exchange referrals and opportunities. N is nurture and test partnerships, and eventually, for D, we deepen into collaborations, joint ventures, and integrated partnerships. We'll explore the fullness and collaboration ladder in another episode, but today we're going to focus on the

essential middle step: becoming referral ready, because referral readiness supports everything that follows. It helps people introduce, recommend, promote, partner, and collaborate with you. And becoming referral ready is a process. It's not a checklist you complete once. I call it the referral readiness wheel. And as your audience offers the marketplace business evolve, you continue to listen, test, explain, build trust, develop relationships, and refine your referral pathway. You may have a strong offer but an unclear message. You may be well known but need more proof. You may

receive referrals but need a stronger follow-up process. Your community can help you discover what needs attention and become increasingly referral ready. That's what I love about the Grind Connection. And to guide this process, I've created six steps called R Ready for Referral Ready. So this is what they are: R is Research and Listen. The next R is refine and package your how. E is explain the need value. An outcome. A is to accumulate trust, experience, and proof. D develop referral relationships, and Y is your referral pathway and follow up. So let's go on to R. The first R,

research and listen. Begin this by understanding your audience. Who do you want to help? What are they experiencing? What have they already tried? What change do they want? And what words do they, your potential clients, use to describe the problem? A mindset expert might say their clients are experiencing limiting beliefs, but the client isn't going to say that, right? The client may simply be saying, "I know what I need to do, but I keep putting it off.

Those are the words your referral partners are likely to hear. They're not the words that you would describe it in your work. So research for this, so that you can start understanding the words people are using. Begins with simple conversations. You can also do some research online in Reddit. Start looking for what people are asking, but also ask questions at networking events. Listen during discovery calls. Remember, when you have a discovery call, you are asking open questions. You're trying to find out what are their struggles, what are they going through, and you'll start hearing the

words they use, and notice what people repeatedly ask for in your communities. You can also test an idea before fully developing it, I'm thinking about creating a workshop to help coaches explain their offers more clearly. Would that be useful to you? This helps you learn what people want before investing too much time, money, or energy. The second R stands for refine and package your how, this is developing a clear way to help your clients. Your how might be a product, a service, a course, a workshop, a platform, a membership, an assessment event, a process, or a combination. But ask

yourself, what do I guide people through? What are the important steps? What is included? What happens after someone says yes? Your offer does not need to be perfect, but it needs to be understandable and aligned with what your audience wants. Sometimes the challenge isn't the message; the offer itself actually needs to evolve. The marketplace may have changed. Clients may now have alternatives that are simpler, more distinctive, more affordable. For example, clients may no longer be wanting large, open-end consulting engagements. They may want more of a focused assessment and a clear plan,

and help implementing it. Implementation is big right now, and AI is also changing what people are willing to pay for. I have a web design business of almost 20 years, and I used to sell programming. Now with AI, programming is not considered the value that I offer. What I sell now is the planning, the strategy, my experience, the brand alignment, the conversions, the AI search, project management, or whatever tech my clients don't want to do themselves. Another example is for social media managers. Something I used to do as well. Instead of selling basic social media posts that a

client could draft with ideas, like I used to pay for somebody to do, you know, three posts a week, right? You know, a marketing professional might now be offering audience research, positioning, strategy, AI prompting, maybe that's human editing, and giving you some sort of support that makes your content distinctive. So over time, the products and packages and services you offer are going to evolve, and our world is changing very fast right now. Do your research and stay up to date on what others are offering. That's what is great about community. We talk about trends all the time. In

every one-on-one conversation call, I usually ask somebody what's new in your world right now, or have you noticed any new trends? And when you have a new idea, test before you amplify. So what I mean by this is do some smaller tests before you start going and reaching out to wider audiences. Run a pilot, host a small workshop with some people that you have direct contact with. Invite a few people to experience your process. Maybe it's just working with one client. Learn from their questions and results, and then refine your offer. We're going to have an episode coming soon on the popular lean

startup methodology that will really go into testing before you spend too much time, money, and energy on something new. So watch for that. Now on to E. E is explain the need, value, and outcome. I have seen members who have been in a community for a long, long time, and everyone likes them, but nobody knows exactly what they do. Being known and liked is an important foundation, but it does not automatically make someone referable. People need to understand who you help, what they are experiencing, how you help, what outcome you create. Instead of saying "I help anyone who wants to grow, try

something more specific. I help coaches who have valuable expertise but are struggling to package and explain their offer.

I guide them through a process to create an offer people can understand and confidently buy, and give people referral clues or when statements. That's what Frank Agen calls them back in episode 19 and 20, I believe. And we at the Grand Connection we call them trigger words, which we talk about in our mini meets. Some examples would be when you meet a business owner who says their website no longer represents their business. Think of me. When you hear a coach say they know what to do but keep procrastinating, I'd love an introduction. And some of the trigger words I tell my referral partners for

my web design business is you hear someone talking about AI search, malware, not getting leads, or my favorite when they say don't go to my website. That usually means it's broken, not up to date, or they're embarrassed of it. Your perspective also helps distinguish you at the Grand Connection, we do not see networking as collecting contacts or immediately asking for business. We believe in building trust, leading with value, and creating relationships that can grow into referrals and collaborations. Trust opens the door, and clarity helps someone make the introduction. It is really hard

to refer someone when you aren't exactly sure what problem they solve. Remember that. A is accumulate trust, experience, and proof. A referral is a transfer of trust. When someone introduces you, they are putting part of their reputation into that introduction. I sometimes see people join a community and they expect clients and referrals to come immediately. They attend one or two events and wonder why nothing's happened? Joining a community opens the door, but participating consistently helps you move through it. People need some time to understand what you do, how you work, and whether you

follow through. Show up, be curious, keep your commitments, attend other people's events, share helpful resources, and make thoughtful introductions. This is grand giving. It is sharing your strengths in ways that are generous, meaningful, and sustainable. And people also need proof. Imagine someone with a promising new program that nobody has experienced yet. Community members may love the idea but not feel ready to recommend it. A pilot workshop can provide feedback, get you testimonials, improve the process, and create a few meaningful stories. You do not need hundreds of testimonials. One

clear story showing how someone benefited from your process can make your work easier to understand and refer. Better yet, find someone they know who has worked with you. The more people who say you are great, the better it builds credibility and trust. D is develop referral relationships. Referral relationships develop over time. I see this journey as a type of referral ladder. We call it the ascend collaboration ladder because relationships can grow beyond referrals into partnerships and deeper collaborations. We'll explore the complete ascend collaboration ladder in another podcast

episode, and I have another great acronym. But for today, it's helpful to understand that we do not usually move from meeting someone directly into exchanging referrals. It just doesn't happen that fast. We begin by making an. Authentic connection. From there, we strengthen trust, discover alignment, and become referral ready before exchanging referrals and exploring partnerships. So imagine two members meeting in a breakout room on Zoom. They learn about each other, attend each other's events, and exchange a few small introductions. Months later, they co-host a workshop. By the end of the

year, they may be regularly sharing referrals and opportunities, or planning a deeper collaboration. What began as one conversation moved up the Ascend collaboration ladder through repeated positive experiences. Not every relationship needs to progress that far and should not be rushed. Community gives us repeated opportunities to connect. People can observe how we contribute, whether we follow through, and how we treat others. We can become more referral ready while developing relationships, they may eventually grow into referrals, shared visibility, partnerships, joint ventures, and

integrated collaborations. Why the last of are ready your referral pathway and follow up. Even when someone wants to refer you. They may not know what to say or what should happen next. Give them a short description of who you help, a few referral clues, a simple introduction they can use. That next step could be a conversation, a workshop, an assessment, demo, event, or some sort of resource.

I really appreciate myself being able to give them a link to a free upcoming webinar or challenge that they can get to know you. Maybe it's a lead magnet. I love something that's immediately consumable that they would find a value right away, and this way they can start learning about you and getting a small win immediately. While this is fresh in their mind. I'll also send an intro via referral app, LinkedIn, or email. Now, not every referral partner is into introductions like I am. Maybe it's appropriate for you to get their contact info and follow up without pitching too heavily.

Just see what feels best and discuss this with your referral partner. Your referral partner should not be making the sale. Their role is to open the conversation, and your role is to receive the referral well. So by this I mean respond promptly to your referral partner. Thank the person who introduced you, welcome the referred person without immediately pressuring them. You do not need to make it long. You can simply say thank you, Bob, for the kind introduction. I really appreciate you thinking of me. And if you're doing a three-way reply, introduce yourself briefly to the new person

and share the next steps. Most likely your calendar, and then add this lead into your CRM because you may need to follow up later. When discussing referrals, I have heard many people say, "I've sent this person so many referrals, but I never hear what happened. I don't even receive a thank you. Now this can damage trust, so being referral ready means also becoming a good receiver as well as a generous giver. Before we move on, let's briefly explore a situation many of us experience. What do you do when a referral relationship begins to feel one-sided when referrals are not reciprocal.

Reciprocity matters. It does not mean every referral must be immediately repaid with another referral. You could share someone's event, invite them to speak, offer an introduction, celebrate their work, or explore another opportunity to collaborate. I've also had people send me referrals when I wasn't sending referrals back. It wasn't because I didn't appreciate them. Sometimes I did not clearly understand who they helped or what referral clues I should listen for. Perhaps you were not fully referral ready yet. You can open an honest conversation by saying, "I really appreciate the

introductions you've made. I'd love to find more ways to support you. I realize I may not be clearly understanding your ideal referral. Could we talk about who you most want to meet, what they might be experiencing, and what I should listen for. And if this feels familiar, perhaps send them this podcast. Sometimes supportive feedback is more valuable than an immediate referral. I wrote a chapter in. GC members Michael Niece's book "Our Future Is Kind. It's called "Give Better, Create Lasting Ripples: The Art of Grand Giving for Sustainable Impact. And part of the grand giving way that I talk

about is how to say no with a ripple. There may also be people in your world that you cannot confidently refer. Perhaps you already have somebody in your world. Maybe it's a trusted mortgage broker, a realtor, a financial planner. Maybe it's your brother. Maybe you have not experienced their service, and you just don't know enough about it. Or maybe their approach isn't aligned with your values, but you still like them as a person, and it may work for some other people. Or you don't notice the problem they solve. This is where I use no, and I call it no with a ripple. The no creates an honest

boundary, and the and leaves room for another sincere possibility. You might say, I already have a trusted mortgage broker I've been working with for years that I refer to, so I don't want to promise referrals for you in that area. But I would love to explore other ways we could support each other. Maybe I introduce them to another good realtor that doesn't have a referral partner, or a financial planner I know that's setting up a group in that area, or another way you could say it is: I do not feel I know your process well enough to confidently refer someone yet, and I'd be open to learning

more about your work.

The and needs to be sincere, and we don't need to offer something simply to soften the no. We can value the relationship without promising reciprocal referrals. Maybe you're just you send them a card. Maybe it's a you give them a gift certificate. There may be other ways to return the value, such as offering a referral reward or sharing their work or exchanging services. One of my best website referral partners gets free website maintenance from me, and that's how I thank her. And not everyone expects referral relationships to be perfectly equal. Remember, we talked about givers, takers,

and matchers in Adam Grant's book. Well, if you're a matcher, then maybe that's what you're thinking. But if you're a true giver, you're not looking for that reciprocal matching. Value doesn't always need to come directly from the same person. Making a thoughtful referral helps someone solve a problem, and that may be rewarding enough. Your referral partner may simply appreciate knowing that the person they introduced will be valued and well cared for. And I'm often pleasantly surprised to receive referrals years later from someone I helped or connected with a long time ago. See, you never

know what goes around often comes around, even when it arrives years later or through a completely different relationship or opportunity. The last part I want to talk about is why you may not be receiving referrals, and I think this is really important to think about. If you're not receiving referrals, it may not mean networking doesn't work for you or the community is wrong for you. I have some questions here to ask yourself: Do people know me well enough to trust me? Do they understand who I help? Do I have something my audience genuinely wants? Is my offer clear and well packaged?

Have people seen enough proof? Have I developed real referral relationships? Have I given people specific referral clues? Do I respond, follow up, express appreciation, and close the loop? Your answers can help see where the gaps are, and rather than trying to fix everything at once, identify the part of the R-ready wheel that needs your attention most right now. Then take one small step. Perhaps you want to start what I call an audience conversation. This means have a conversation with someone in your ideal audience, maybe it's an existing client or a past client. Ask what they are

struggling with, what they have already tried, and what kind of support would most be valuable to them. And clarify one sentence. Now this is my formula. You can pick anyone you want. There's lots of different ways to do it, but this one goes: I help blank who are experiencing blank by blank. They can blank. So I help heart-centered entrepreneurs. Who feel frustrated from transactional networking by connecting them with a supportive global community where they can learn, build trust, and collaborate, so they can create meaningful relationships, referrals, partnerships, and sustainable brand

growth. So it was I help blank who are experiencing blank by blank, so they can blank. Okay, got it. Now another thing to do is test one part of your offer. Remember the lean startup methodology here that we talked about earlier. Strengthen one relationship, or create one simple referral introduction, and look back regularly. This is something I love to do at the end of the year. We can become so focused on what remains unfinished that we miss how far we have come. Your idea may have become an offer. Your message may be clearer. A new connection may have become a trusted referral partner or

collaboration. Look back, celebrate. It's exciting all the things that you've done over the year. Becoming referral ready is not about reaching a point where everything is finished. It's about continuing to listen, learn, test, refine, build trust, and strengthen relationships. Keep the already wheel turning. Keep nurturing the relationships that matter, and keep creating opportunities to connect, create, and collaborate. Thank you for joining me on the Grand Connection podcast.

If this episode brought someone to mind, share it with them and start a referral readiness conversation together. And if you're looking for a heart-centered community where you can develop your ideas, build meaningful relationships, increase your visibility, and become more referral ready. We would love to welcome you to the Grand Connection. Grab your free guest pass and Grand Growth Bundle at grandconnection.ca/gifts. Until next time, keep connecting, keep giving, and keep creating something grand.