Bob Burg, The Go-Giver Way and Grand Giving for Growth | 022

Susan, welcome to the Grand Connection podcast. I'm your host. Susan Jarema, co founder of the grand connection, where we believe in the power of meaningful relationships, collaboration and grand giving. Today's episode is a very special one. We are sharing an inspiring interview recorded live at the Grand giving conference in December 2025 featuring Best Selling Author Bob Burg in conversation with Steve Brossman. In case you weren't at the conference, there will be one next year. We have one every December. It was filled with incredible conversations, new friendships, meaningful collaborations and heart centered entrepreneurs coming together from around the world to connect, create and collaborate, all on Zoom. Bob Berg has been a long time inspiration to our community, and has previously spoken at the Grand connection stage. His work has deeply influenced how many people think about relationships, referrals, collaboration, influence and business growth through generosity and value. For those who do not know Bob, he is the co author of the best selling book, The Go Giver, along with other influential books, including Endless Referrals and the Go Giver influencer, which he talked about in this upcoming interview, for more than 30 years, Bob has helped individuals and organizations communicate their value more effectively, build trust based relationships and grow their business through service, authenticity and meaningful human connection. One of the things I appreciate most about Bob's philosophy is that he reminds us that success is not about extracting value from people. It is about creating value for people. He believes that the amount of money we earn is directly proportional to how many people we serve, and that philosophy aligns beautifully with what we call grand giving inside our grand connection community to us. Grand giving is the intentional practice of creating value, building trust and supporting others, sharing

opportunities and helping people grow together through authentic relationships and collaboration. You may have heard similar ideas explored through other books and philosophies such as give and take by Adam Grant, the give to gain philosophy popularized through organizations like BNI, Never Eat Alone, or timeless relationship principles on how to win friends and influence people. Many great reads and many of these philosophies share a common thread. Relationships matter. Trust matters, and success grows when we focus on creating genuine value for others. And of course, the Go Giver, which has inspired so many entrepreneurs, leaders and relationship driven business communities around the world. But what makes grand giving unique is how it lives inside a collaborative ecosystem and community. It is not just about giving randomly. It is about meaningful connection, shared growth, mutual support and creating ripple effects that uplift everyone involved. There is something incredibly beautiful about seeing people grow, succeed and collaborate and genuinely celebrate one another along the journey, watching someone gain confidence, meet the right collaboration partner, receive an opportunity, launch something meaningful, or finally, feel supported instead of alone. That is the spirit of grand giving in today's world where so much networking can feel transactional, rushed and automated, this conversation is an important reminder that trust, generosity, emotional intelligence and genuine care still matter deeply in business and in life. So let's dive into this wonderful conversation between Steve Brossman and Bob Burg from the Grand giving conference, 2025

Well, one of the big reasons that I know some of you are here to listen, to meet and hopefully interact with Bob as we get going, it's going to be my pleasure and my honor to introduce to you Bob Burg. I've got a heap of stuff here, and Bob just said, You know what? You don't have to say all of that. Just introduce me. But he is the he's really well renowned for the thought process and authoring the books around being a go giver. He's addressed audiences ranging from 50 to 16,000 sharing the platforms with some of the world leaders influencing some of the world leaders the way that they do things. He's well known for his book, Endless Referrals and the business parable, the Go Giver, co authored with John David Mann Wall Street Journal and Business Week bestseller, some of the things that we're going to be talking about today is a philosophy. That he has been working on and influencing other people on. It's going to be my pleasure now to introduce Bob and ask the welcome him along to the the grand connection, and then ask the first question, Bob, welcome along, and we do appreciate you giving up this time.

Oh, my pleasure. Steve. Thank you for having me. And hello everybody.

It's always my intrigue is, what is, what was the catalyst? Way back to a think about this, live about this, and share the Go Giver thought process and how we could actually use it in business. What was that one thing that said, you know, what, I've got to share this?

Well, I mean, I was very fortunate that I was brought up by great parents who really lived and embodied this very message. So I got to see that firsthand. And as I got into business, I saw that, you know, there were different ways that people did business, and sometimes people who did things the seemingly right way were successful, and other times they weren't. And sometimes people who did things what I thought was the wrong way were successful and sometimes they weren't. But I'll tell you what I did notice patterns. There were patterns that revealed themselves and that were that was that by and large, those people who did things in a way that always looked to benefit others, that looked to provide value to the marketplace, that had a genuine and authentic feeling for wanting to help others. Okay, these are the people who generally were very successful. They were sustainably successful, yeah, sure, financially, but also spiritually and mentally and socially and relationally and so forth and so I, you know, I got to really see and learn from a lot of people. The The idea for the Go Giver came really because after my book Endless Referrals came out, and it was really a how to book on, on how to build relationships right within your local community that would help people to build the know, like and trust relationships that are so fundamental to people wanting to do business with you directly and refer you to others. I thought, wouldn't it be great to take this basic idea and turn it into a parable, parables, which are stories and are very relatable and so forth. But I wasn't a parable writer. I'm a how to author, and fortunately, I met John David Mann, who's absolutely brilliant, and he was the editor in chief of a magazine I was writing for, and I brought this idea to him, and he was the only one I even wanted to work with this on. He's a man of not only a brilliant writer, very successful entrepreneur, but just a man of such high

integrity. And I asked if he would work with me on this and really be the lead writer, storyteller. And fortunately, he agreed. And after being turned down by 24 New York publishing houses, the 25th one, fortunately said yes. And you know, from there, it was kind of after the races.

Fantastic, absolutely. So we're in an I could best describe it, an interesting economy right now. Some are thriving, and there are many that are doing it tough. How can I have the Go Giver mentality when I'm just working really hard in my business to keep my head above water. And I know there's a lot of people out there that would say I'd love to be a Go Giver, but I'm just struggling to get by. What? What's your suggestions for people to do it that way?

So Steve, the premise in that that question is, well, can being a Go Giver be helpful, or is that just something that you do because it's nice after you're already successful? And I would like to turn that whole thing around and say, the only way you're going to be successful, okay, is by, is by focusing on providing value to another human being. Why? Because nobody's going to do business with you. Nobody's going to buy from you because you have a quota to meet, or because you have a sales goal to reach, or because you need the money right now, or even because, just because you're a really nice person, people are going to do business with you because they believe that they will be better off by doing so than by not doing so. So someone says, oh, well, yeah, you know, I'll be a Go Giver after I don't have the money. But right now I just need to, basically, what they're saying is I just need to extract money from other people's pockets to put in my own. Now, does anybody and people sense that when that's the case? Does anybody buy from anyone for that reason? Because the salesperson needs them to No. So if you really want to create income, what you've got to do is find a way to bring value to the lives of other people. That's the basic premise of the Go Giver, that shifting your focus right from getting to giving and when. Say giving in this context, we simply mean constantly and consistently providing immense value to others is not only a more fulfilling way of conducting business, it is the most financially profitable way as well.

Thank you so much. We were having a small discussion earlier about the collaborations and everything that happens in the grand connection community, and one of the things that we sent people out into the breakout room was, what value can you add other people to initiate a collaboration? So Terrific. Thank you so much for that, because it really reinforced that in these sorts of events, it's not, how can I go and extract what I can out of the room? Is, how can I add value first? And I love that. Now I've got your your five laws of stratospheric success up in front of me right now, and I noticed on the bottom one, and it's probably just in order, but not in order of importance, is the law of receptivity. And I know, and I'm probably one of them. It's hard to accept. It's hard to be given to. It's like, Yeah, I like doing this for other people. But can you explain how powerful it is for you to actually receive as a part of a relationship?

Sure. Well, the law of receptivity says the key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving this really means, Steve, nothing more than understanding that, yeah, you breathe out, you've also got to breathe in. It's not one or the other, right? It's both. You breathe out carbon dioxide. You breathe in oxygen. You know, at least, if you want to live, you breathe out, which is giving you breathe in, which is receiving. Giving and Receiving are not opposite concepts. They're simply two sides of the very same coin, and they work in tandem. So what's the problem? Well, the problem is the messaging from the world around us is very anti prosperity, you know, and for a lot of people it This includes everything in our belief system, from upbringing, environment, schooling, news media, television shows, movies, popular culture, cultural mores, we are constantly hit with anti prosperity, anti abundance, anti business messaging, right? So if you grow up being taught good values and consciously, you put these good values into your your head of honesty and integrity and treating people, right and kindness. But you're getting all these messages from the world about how if you make money, you must be evil, and you must have stepped on people toes and do other right? And that's your unconscious, right? And so all of a sudden, you get a little older, you start doing really well. You're you're adding value to people's lives. You the money starting to come in and not in, but that in unconscious plays in your head and says, Well, wait a second, but, but I'm supposed to be honest and in integrity and nice and kind and so forth, but I'm making money. Does that mean that I did something wrong? Who did I step on to do that? Who did I harm to do that? What are people going to think of me that you know now, that I had right and so, and we know when it when the conscious battles the unconscious, the unconscious wins, but only every single time, okay? And so that's why. So

what we've got to do is, really, we've got to reprogram our minds. And one of the ways, and you know, we, we covered that a little bit in the Go Giver, but in a parable, you can only go so, so deep. I recommend, you know, seeking out people whose whose main focus is on prosperity teaching and prosperity mindset, people like Randy Gage, people like the late Bob Proctor, people like David Nagel, people like Sharon Lecter, people like Lisa Peterson, people like Ellen Rogan, people like Ken Honda. These are people who David Nagel. These are people who they write and they speak, they post, they blog, they're all these things. And I subscribe to their their blog posts, and I subscribe to their videos, and that's why, because the anti prosperity garbage is thrown at us constantly from everywhere, we need to to consciously and proactively reach out and and Get these and receive these pro prosperity, pro abundance. Messages

Brilliant. And as you were saying that, a flash came, I saw a saying somewhere before I get on to the next question is, how do you help the poor people not be one of them?

That that is a great way to help the poor not be one of them.

Yeah, you can't give if you don't have anything to give.

And, yeah, and also, and that's why entrepreneurship is so important, because it creates jobs, it creates opportunities. And, yeah, I mean, that really does work. But yeah, you know, I think there was one person who said, I can never be poor enough to make a poor person rich. Mm.

You know, and so, yeah, I love it. Love it. Now, let's moving on to where you're got some of the new focus is the Go Giver influencer. Now, unfortunately, that title, that word, has been tarnished just that little bit, because we're seeing those influences, you know, the public social media influences out there, but love to hear your thought on being an influencer in the Go giving way of doing things.

Yeah. So, so if you, if you just take the word influence, okay, what? What does that mean? Well, on a very basic level, influence can be defined as simply the ability to move a person or persons to a desired action, usually within the context of a specific goal. Okay? By definition, that is influence. That's the definition, but that is not its its essence, okay, the essence of influence is pull. Pull, as opposed to push, as in the old saying, how far can you push a rope? And we know the answer is not very far, at least not very fast or very efficiently, efficiently. And that's why genuine influencers don't push they don't push themselves. They don't push their will. They don't push their ideas onto others. They're not push e you think about it. You never hear people say, Wow, that Tom or or that Deborah. She is so influential. She has a lot of push with people. No, she's influential. She has a lot of pull with people. That's what genuine influence is. Now. The question now becomes, how do you manifest that type of of influence, right? How do you move people to action in such a way that benefits everyone involved? Well, it's really understanding that while you want to be internally motivated, you want to be outwardly focused. So the genuine influencers constantly asking themselves questions such as, how does Excuse me? How does what I want this other person to do? How does it align with their values? How does it align with their needs, their wants, their desires? How does it align with their goals? How does what I'm asking this other person to do? How does it solve a problem for them? How does it move this other person closer to happiness? And when asking ourselves those questions thoughtfully and intelligently, genuinely, authentically, not as a way to manipulate another person into doing our will, but as a way of building everyone in the process, now we've come a lot closer to earning that person's commitment to our ideas, as opposed to

trying to depend on some type of compliance or force or manipulation or or something negative like that.

Excellent, excellent. I've got two main questions before we open up. And if you've got any questions you want to put in the chat, we may get you on camera and ask them directly. One of the key things that you say as a successful business person or a person that wants to create success is Mastering your emotions, and again, with everything that's flying around on the social media, on the news and everything going on there. What are What do you mean by mastering their emotions? And what tips do you have for people to be the master of their emotions?

Yeah, well, this is where it all begins, Mastering your emotions, because it's only when we're in control of our own emotions and control of ourselves that we're even in a position to take a potentially negative situation or person and turn it into a win for everyone involved. Now I think we all know this. Yet, how often do we allow someone else you know what someone else says or does, and we become defensive or agitated or anxious or annoyed or angry, right? And we say or do that very thing that rather than move us closer to our desired result, takes us in the total opposite direction, right? And we know better. And if we do then why do we do it? Because we're human beings, and as human beings, we are emotional creatures. Now we'd like to think we're logical, right? We like to think we're logical, and to a certain extent, of course, we are, but, but we're mainly we're pretty emotion based. We make major decisions based on emotion, and we back up those decisions with logic. We rationalize. And if you break up the word rationalize, it simply means we tell ourselves rational lies, and we do that in order to justify the emotional decision we made, or saying, acting, doing something in a way that we know really was very kind of productive. Now, please understand that we're not in any way suggesting that you deny. Your emotions, or forego your emotions, absolutely not at all. Emotions are a beautiful part of life. They bring us joy. They they make life worthwhile. No, it's just making sure that you are the master of your emotions, as opposed to your emotions being the master of you. Or as one of my great friends, dandy scumacci, she's a fantastic leadership and team building authority is she says, by all means, take your emotions along for the ride, but make sure you are driving the car, and that's so important. Now, one of the ways we can do this, if we find ourselves often letting our emotions get the best of us in certain situations, is just, you

know, picture that situation. Picture, maybe it's a customer objection that you receive all the time that you just it just annoys you and makes you angry, or or dealing with a family member or a friend or something in which, you know, you always seem to have this happen as a pattern, and you find yourself getting angry and getting upset and so forth. So picture this happening. Picture it in your mind's eye. But I want you to to picture yourself, rather than reacting to this. I want you to picture yourself, imagine yourself responding Okay, with a calmness, with a with a gentleness. You're totally detached in a positive way. It does not bother you a bit, and you're able to smile and emit a nice, loving feeling, right? And see yourself saying the perfect words to this person to disarm the situation. Don't worry about the words right now, those, those come that's a different part. This is just the feeling of doing so. And then imagine this person responding to this and accepting what you say, and the situation just working at its working itself out wonderfully. And then, and picture this happening and and get that picture in your mind. Feel the feel you know, feeling the feelings. Now my suggestion is, rehearse this. Rehearse it. Go over it in your mind a time after time after time, again and again and again. Why do I say this? Because just like an astronaut, before going up into onto a mission in space, she'll run through hundreds of simulations right, pushing every button and every gear shift and everything, and accounting for everything that could go wrong, and being able to know exactly what to do right and hundreds and hundreds of times, so that when she's finally up in space, and heaven forbid, something does happen, she knows it. She's seen it hundreds of times. It doesn't have to think about it right. Just does the right thing and pushes the right buttons and knows the protocol under Well, it's the same here. Now, you know,

maybe it's not the exact same, but our unconscious can't distinguish, and we know this, can't distinguish between what is imagined and what is has actually happened. So we rehearse this again and again. It doesn't have to be hundreds of times, but enough that you really, really, really know it now, the next time this happens and this person says or does whatever they say or do that typically annoys you, causes you to let yourself be angry, whatever you're going to have a a little conversation with yourself. It's going to be really funny how it happens. It's going to be a nanosecond, but it's like a full conversation. I know this. I'm ready for this. I've been practicing this. I remember going through this exercise with Berg on that, on that, that Zoom, yeah, I know exactly what to do, and you're going to handle it in a very calm, serene, kind, loving energy, the whole thing and and this person is going to respond exactly as you, as you picture them responding, and you're going to work this out, and it's going to be great. And then when it happens, I want you to take real pleasure in knowing that you did this, because it's a huge step, a huge step. Now, you know, if you do this one time correctly, you know you could do it correctly every time. Now, as human beings, you won't. Neither will I. We're human beings. We mess up sometimes, but 99% of the time, we'll get it right. And within a few weeks, this was one of the most significant things I ever did in my life. And I learned this from someone else. I didn't make this up, but it's amazing how it works. Within a few weeks, you'll really the way you handle these kinds of situations will be totally just 180 degrees, and you will become known. Others will notice it in you as well, and you'll become that person who is so highly respected for the way you're able to handle situations, not losing your cool and really being that one who is in in control.

There is so much in that people are going to get the replay for this and being able to implement it. And I was a professional athlete at a fairly high level, and I was taught right back then is to manage your emotion. Because then you can manage your energy before a race, and if you go in there, and then you can, you know you can perform well, and that'll manage your time and your performance. And I brought that right through. And just like you have said, I've seen people that are wake up in the morning, get straight onto Facebook, read something that absolutely pees them off, and they're screwed for the day. It's like, oh, that's made me so angry. And so I mean, like, there's, they're gone, and what you're saying there is to rehearse all of that. And I coined a little phrase that I teach my people. There is stuff going on that you have to know, because you're in business and you have to see what's going on, but observe, don't absorb

Because you control your energy, you control your emotions, you control your energy, you control your energy, you control your time. And that's a big thing. The last question, I really do value your input, and I want your thoughts on this, because it's where we're at in the world is, how do we use everything that you're saying right now in the world of AI, in the world of all of this fake stuff coming through, how can you be and rise up as the Go Giver influencer in the growing world of AI really would value your thoughts on this, because it's the platform that we have to use going forward.

Yeah, so, I mean, I think again, the big thing with that is the premise that a lot of people have is that AI is going to be the answer to all life's ills and all business ills, and like anything else, AI is a tool. It's a magnificent tool when used correctly, okay, but it's still a tool, and it cannot replace the human being. In it can replace a lot of things humans can do, no question about that. But it cannot replace the human spirit. It cannot replace the human connection. There was a beautiful book written probably 10 years ago now by Sean, not Sean Colvin, although it's Sean Colvin, the singer her brother. And I can't think of his name right now, but last name is Colvin, C, O, L, V, I N, and the book was people. Humans are underrated. Humans are underrated. And really the the premise of his book, and this is even before, you know, AI has been so prevalent. But same, same thing, he said, you know, the question used to be, what can humans do that machines can't. And that was a good question back then. But now, as he said, it's not, it's, it's Oh, Jeffrey, called Jeff Colvin. Is his name? Jeff, G, E, O, F, F. Now the question is, what can what can machines? What can humans do that people will not accept from machines? That's a different question. And let me just give you one quick example. It would be like the and this is sort of a morbid example, so forgive me, but it would be like someone being in the having a loved one in the hospital and during the operation they die. You don't want to read that on a, you know, on a printout, okay? You want to hear that from a doctor who has kindness and has empathy and genuine caring and so forth, you know? And so what he was saying is these skills, I call them people skills, and that's really what the book genuine influence is all about. People some people call them soft skills. I don't find anything soft about them, but I call them human skills, or people skills. And so it's that person

who understands can can control and regulate their own emotions and understand and work within the emotions of others. It's that person who can understand ego and be able to work within that. It's people who can speak with tact and empathy and kindness, right? It's those people who learn how to to work on test part of teams and be able to lead teams, and it's all those things, right? Those skills, those people skills. Ai can't do that, but AI can assist those people who who do that. So I guess I would say, if you look at AI as a means to an end, that's fine, and that end being, develop the relationship, right, keep the relay right, but if you see it as the end in and of itself, now you're in trouble.

Absolutely love all of this, and I've been selfish by asking the questions that I wanted to ask. Hopefully all of you guys have been able to extract some what? I have some great knowledge and wisdom here. I've purposely left her in about five minutes. I'm very conscious of your time, Bob, and we do appreciate it. Susan, would you like to jump in and either ask a question or we just got swear, hands flying up everywhere

You know what?

Let's let's do this if you want to stay on an extra 10. Minutes. I can do that. I just need to leave it like seven past the hour, but because I have another thing right after that, but I will not stay until seven past the hour, if you'd like. Thank you. We appreciate that. We'll schedule. We'll go through so quick question. We've got a couple of people here that we'll get to. Mario. Your question, please. Hi Mario.

Hi Bob. Nice to meet you. I just want to give some gratitude to Susan and to Steve for running this super grateful and Bob for your time today. Thank you. I'm super grateful. The only question that I have for this is, essentially, I'm putting together a group of 100 super connectors, and I picked up the book, go giver and go give her some more, seven years ago, right? And I really took those fundamentals and applied them into my day to day life, right? I've also realized how important giving is, specifically within the networking space right now, my question would be in terms of replication, right? Like I know that for me, it's important, and I know that the fundamental idea is important. How, besides promoting your book massively, right? How can I get people to embody the idea within a networking community or space? Because really a lot of them is just to go pitch and everyone's going to be transactional rather than give, right? How would you do that on a massive scale? If I put 100 super connectors together with hundreds of 1000s of people, basically,

Well, it's going to be up to you as the leader to be the teacher. Okay? So you're going to first teach by example, of course, but you're also going to do it by sharing with them why it's actually in their best interest to take their immediate focus off of themselves and be focused on others and to not think on you know, will this person buy from me? No, it's understanding that this person has has a sphere of influence of 250 people. And if you create a genuine, know, like and trust relationship with this person, and this person is your personal walking ambassador, well, now you've just created the benevolent context for massive success. So it's a matter of you teaching that message and doing it continually. Because it's not a matter of, you know, just one time. It's a matter of, they're going to see it and it's and then when you see someone doing something that seems very I focused, or me focused, you know, you want to just one on one and in a very kind, loving way, be able to share with them why it's and you say, you know, I you know, I love your spirit, and I love the way that you, you know, put yourself out there. May I share an idea with you that I think will help you to become even more successful. And when you do it that way, they're not defensive, and they say, yes, and then you can kind of explain how really, you know other people really their interest is in themselves, and so you say, deserve, you can find a way to discover their needs, their wants, their desires, help them solve their challenges. Boom, now you're actually you can let this person know, going to create a much better situation for yourself.

Brilliant. Love it. Bob. And one of the things that when I'm in different communities and collaboration events is a simple philosophy, is, how do I make my collaboration partner look the hero in front of their people? Absolutely? Oh, that's brilliant. Yep. Absolutely. Andrew,

All right.

Hello

So, first of all, Bob is one of the best people, if you're on LinkedIn. I mean, he's so giving, and it's so nice whenever I see you comment on something, whether it's your post or someone mentions you or your book. So I wanted to first say that it says, it says a lot about about you. I noticed a number of your books, maybe almost all are parables. So I'm wondering, is there a lesson there for all of us? Can we be using parables more? I know there's a book called the Bible that I think uses a lot of parables, but maybe you can just say briefly, like, what's the inspiration? And then can we use parables to maybe tell our stories a little better?

Sure. Well, parables are because they're stories. They do connect on more of a heart to heart level. Then then, you know simply how to Now, other than my books with John and one other one that I wrote with a gentleman by the name of Jeff West, called, oh my gosh, street wise to sales wise. Become objection proof and beat the sales blues. That's also a parable. All my other books have been How To books. So, you know, Endless Referrals was how to the art of persuasion, how to adversaries and allies, how to so most so mines are a combination. But I will say this, that, yes, I believe that if you can boil down some really good how to principles within a parable? Yeah, I think it's a really great way to go. Now John David Mann, who's my co author, who, again, is just a brilliant, brilliant storyteller. He actually teaches a mastery, a writing mastery class. So if you go to John David Mann. N, j, O, H, N, D, A, V, I, D, M, a, n, n.com, and you can go to the you can find on there where he has, he has a series of free videos and things like that, and there's great value just on that. But if you're ever interested, you can always ask him about his mastery course. Okay,

Thank you. I added, I added a number of your books to my library just now audible. By the way, if you don't know Bob is on Audible a lot, a lot. So thank you, Bob.

Thank you so much.

We got time for one more, and then I want to wrap up with Susan, with Bob. So Jade, your question. Comments, Please, buddy.

Hey, how you doing, Bob? Steve, you did a great job, first of all, and you asked a lot of questions in line with what I want to ask real quick. Frank agan taught me four years ago, give away everything you know for free. People. Hire people for help with implementation that information. So give away all Don't say you're an expert. Give away all your value. Now, Bob, I promote you a lot from a negative place, in terms of people manipulate the concepts, I think, which is why I love Steve stuff or Steve's questions. So they say no, like trust go giver, and it's all about relationships. I promote you to 1000s of people every month, but I think the concepts are manipulated. 90% of the people at business online networking events are broke. How do they take the concept of serving others and make it about making money. How do you, because they're lost on going, all my clients are lost on this, from going, being fined and serving others to turn that into money. How do you how do they do that?

Yeah, so the first thing is that when somebody you know, says to me, Well, Bob, you know, I've applied the laws of the go get you know, I'm always giving value to others, but I'm not getting anything back. I'll tell you, 95% of the time when I do a diagnostic, okay, which is a very fancy way of saying, I ask them a few questions. 95% of the time, it's that they think they're giving value, but they're giving value from their own perspective, not necessarily the other person's value. It can be defined as the relative worth or desirability of a thing, right? Of some what is it that this other person finds to be a value? Value is always in the eyes of the beholder, but what happens a lot of times is we think everyone sees the world is the way we do. So this person's think that, thinking they're giving value, but really they're doing what they would find to be a value, and they don't understand why other people don't appreciate it. So this is where I say that you've got to find out what this other person needs, wants, desires, finds a value. How they want to be related to how they want right? And when we do that now, we're putting ourselves in a much better position to create a customer. The other 5% is this person's just not able to receive because they have not been able to get past that mental block, that anti prosperity mental block, there's worthiness issues, or there's other reasons, but 95% of the time, it's they think they're providing value when they're really not providing it in a way the other person sees it as being of value. Being and being a Go Giver doesn't mean you don't have a business plan, doesn't mean you don't have a strategy, doesn't mean you don't know you're right. It's all these things. So the the Go Giver really is an underlying set of principles, if you will, but you've still got to have a good product or service, know how to sell it and know how to help other people with it.

Thanks. Bob,

Susan has just sent me a note, and she'll give up her time to say thank you, and I'll do it on her behalf. Rei, can you give your question in 15 seconds and let Bob have another 60 seconds to answer it? Please,

Absolutely. Well, first, I want to thank you. Our values match perfectly. I'm curious what you do to prepare for a talk like this. Do you how do you get yourself in in alignment with your beliefs?

Well, and your name is pronounced? Rei

Yes.

Rei, thank you for the question. You know, at this point, I pretty much it's just having a conversation when I do a virtual presentation, because I don't travel on the road anymore, but I do virtual keynote presentations. Then it's always about the client and making sure I understand their business, their needs, wants, desires, problems, challenges, strengths, we, you know, and everything. And I make it very specific, and I do a ton of preparation. I'm known for doing all that, you know, that prep, but for this, something like this, where it's a topic that I'm comfortable with. And you know that it's just a conversation between new friends.

Yes

Question, if

I can, if I can, if Rajiv can, can, you know, just ask a quick question. I'll try to answer it quickly so I'm off, like in the next 30 to 45 seconds. That would be awesome. I hate to not, you know. To have him ask,

Yeah, so thank you for that, Bob, but great presentation, and Thanks Steven, Susan, for running an epic event. My question to you, Bob is a little bit controversial, hopefully it doesn't kind of make you hate me, but the question is, like, you know, your book is The Go Giver and the focus is on giving, but in my opinion, I think giving and getting are two integral parts of flow, and you can't have one without the other. So for whatever reason

Breathe in. Yeah,

Exactly. So it's like, you know, people, for whatever reason, have this obsessive compulsion to give without thinking on the getting part, and oftentimes suffer deeply because of that. So what's your kind of like answer to that?

Just as I said earlier, Rajiv, I think you make a study of prosperity and the people who I mentioned who have those great blogs and posts and articles and books, look them up, seek them out. Listen to them. 99.9% of what they talk about is getting past the mental blocks that keep you from embracing the prosperity that you deserve based on the immense value you provide to others.

Awesome. Thank you. Thank you so much, Bob

As you're running out the door, we do appreciate your time. We do appreciate the extra time. On behalf of Susan I and everybody that's here and all of those that are going to watch the replay, have an awesome rest of your day and an awesome next event that you're going to We do appreciate everything you've done to put it into print so we can use it. Thanks buddy.

Thank you. Steve, thank you. Susan, thank you everybody. Bye. Bye.

Hello. It's Susan again, and wow, let's just pause for a moment to soak all of that in. There was so much wisdom, insight and heart packed into that conversation with Bob. And honestly, I feel like this is one of those conversations you do not just listen to once and move on from. It is the kind of conversation that invites reflection, the kind of conversation that makes you pause and think more deeply about how we show up in business, relationships, leadership, collaboration and life itself. So I'd like to take a few minutes to reflect a little more deeply on some of these ideas, both for my own understanding and also to connect them back to what we practice and believe inside the grand connection community. One powerful takeaway was Bob's discussion around emotions and emotional mastery. He reminded us that success is not about suppressing emotions. It is about learning to lead ourselves instead of reacting unconsciously. That ties beautifully into many of our conversations around neuroscience, self awareness and mindful communication, the ability to pause, the ability to respond thoughtfully, stay grounded and approach difficult situations calmly. Those are leadership skills, their relationship skills, their self mastery skills and collaboration skills. I also appreciated the discussion about receiving. Now this may relate to you. I know it relates to me as well. Many heart centered entrepreneurs are wonderfully giving but uncomfortable at receiving it may be receiving support, it may be receiving money, receiving opportunities, receiving recognition. Yet giving and receiving are part of the flow. As Bob said, you breathe out, but you also have to breathe in. That was such a beautiful metaphor and one of the most important reminders from this interview was this, people do not buy from you because you need the money. They buy because they believe they will be better off by doing business with you. They buy because you understand

their challenge. You genuinely care. They buy from you because you can help solve a problem, reduce stress, create clarity, save time, improve results or help them move closer to the life or business they want to create. And often, they are not just buying a product or service. They're buying trust. They're buying confidence, support, energy, leadership, guidance and the feeling that someone truly understands where they are and where they want to go. And the same is true with referrals and collaboration. People refer you when they trust you, when they believe in the value you bring, when they feel confident introducing you to the people they care about. Collaborations grow the same way, not because someone forced a pitch in a networking room, not because of pressure or urgency, but because trust was built over time through authentic connection, generosity. Consistency and value. This one insight alone can completely change how we approach networking, referrals and collaboration inside the grand connection we often talk about, connect, create, collaborate. First we connect through authentic conversations and relationships. Then we create trust, ideas, opportunities, clarity and mutual understanding together as trust grows, people naturally begin opening doors. They invite you into the conversation. They may hire you, or you may hire them. They refer you, they share opportunities. They recommend you to others. They bring you into collaborations, and often those relationships continue to grow into long term partnerships, friendships and communities built on mutual support and trust, and eventually, the right collaborations naturally emerged. They're not forced, they're not rushed. It's not transactional. It's built through trust, value and meaningful relationships over time. I also loved Bob's reminder that providing value does not mean abandoning strategy. You still need clarity, you still need positioning, you still need communication skills,

and you still need systems. And here's another concept that came up, you still need to understand what other people truly value. So sometimes people think they're giving value, but they are giving what they personally value, instead of discovering what the other person actually needs. And this is such an important distinction, because many people enter networking conversations already thinking about what they want to offer, promote or talk about, but true value starts with curiosity. It starts with listening, understanding, asking thoughtful questions and learning what actually matters to the other person. This connects beautifully with our previous podcast episode where we explored the work of Chris Voss and his book never split the difference. If you haven't listened to that episode yet, you might want to jump back and listen to it, because many of these principles work together so powerfully. Chris Voss teaches that great communication starts with deep listening, emotional awareness, empathy and asking calibrated questions that help people feel understood, calibrated. Questions are thoughtful, open ended, questions designed to lower defensiveness, create collaboration and help people think more deeply, questions like, How can we make this work? What could be most helpful for you right now? What challenge are you trying to solve? What does success look like for you? Those kinds of questions create understanding and creates trust. This also connects beautifully with the work we explore inside our neuroscience of connection Self Mastery program with Ray McCauley, that program combines neuroscience, mindfulness, emotional awareness, presence and communication practices that help people become more intentional in how they connect, respond, collaborate and lead, because when we become more aware of our own reactions, emotions, patterns and nervous system responses, we communicate differently. We listen differently, we respond differently. We collaborate

differently. And when you combine Ray's neuroscience based Self Mastery work with Chris Voss communication principles and Bob Berg's philosophy of value, generosity and relationship building, you begin creating conversations that are far more authentic, collaborative, emotionally intelligent and effective, not conversations focusing on pitching, but conversations focused on understanding, and often that is where the real opportunities begin. For example, you may love making introductions and think that introductions are the greatest value you can offer someone, but maybe what that person truly needs right now is clarity in their messaging, or maybe it's emotional support during a difficult season in their life, or accountability, or maybe it's visibility, or simply someone who genuinely listens and understands them. Maybe what they value most is finding trustworthy people, simplifying their business, creating more freedom, building deeper relationships with their audiences, or maybe it's finding that right collaboration partner who can confidently run breakout rooms during a partnership masterclass so they can stay focused on teaching and serving their audience. So whatever it is the best is to be able to get that understanding of what they are looking for and what they think is valuable, and that might make it so that your introductions are the right ones for them. Another example is when someone may genuinely need your service, but they don't realize. Is it yet? Maybe they're struggling with the lack of leads, or they're overwhelmed with technology. Lots of people are struggling to get referrals, or they feel like their message isn't landing with the people they most want to serve. Or it's something to do with their energy being low and they're burnt out, or they feel stuck and unsure of what to do next, or disconnected from the passion and purpose that once drove them. So instead of pitching them immediately, you slow down and ask questions, you

listen carefully, you understand the deeper challenge first, and through that conversation, they begin realizing for themselves what support they actually need that creates a completely different experience than simply trying to sell something. Perhaps you have the solution and it's going to land better, right? Or maybe you can introduce or refer them to someone else who can help solve their problem. When we assume everyone values what we value, we can unintentionally miss the real opportunity for connection, but when we slow down and truly understand another person's goals, challenges, values and desires, now we can create real value. Now referrals become more meaningful. Now collaborations become more aligned and trust grows naturally. There's more information on Bob Berg and his books in the show notes. You can also grab a free guest pass and attend up to three events as our guest at Grand connection.ca forward, slash gifts. And while you're there, be sure to explore the grand growth bundle, you can also learn more about our neuroscience of connection Self Mastery program with Ray McCauley, including free recordings and resources that explore emotional awareness, mindfulness, communication and the neuroscience behind meaningful human connection. And if you know someone who would benefit from hearing this message, please share this episode with them, until next time. Let's connect, create and collaborate.