Permission to Pause: Why Authentic Leadership Doesn't Require You to Be Vulnerable

[00:00:05] You're listening to Empowered to Lead, the therapist's practice. I'm Lisa Catallo, therapist, business coach, and your go-to for all things leadership and sustainable practice growth. This is your space for real talk, smart strategies, and grounded support to help you lead with confidence, work with intention, and build a business that actually works for you. Let's dive in.

[00:00:29] Hello, and welcome to the Empowered to Lead podcast. I'm so glad you're here. This podcast is about leadership. And mostly I am talking to Canadian therapists who have started, grown, expanded a group practice and are passionate about being really good leaders in as you have a business.

[00:00:55] And so that looks like we're talking about practical tools and resources for systems and structure for your business. We're also talking about what does it look like to lead? That isn't just systems and structures. That is who am I as a person, as a leader? What do I need in order to lead these people well, so that my business continues to grow, so that we continue to have a good team culture? And yeah, all of the things.

[00:01:25] That go into having a clinic. And so you will note, maybe, that a couple weeks ago, we were talking about stop, start, and protect as you think about your summer, and then heading into the fall. What are some things that you will tell us, and what are some things that you need to get going on? And what do you need to stop? And maybe what do you need to protect so that you can really flourish once you hit the fall?

[00:01:55] And that looks different for everybody. And I needed to practice what I preach last week. There was some stuff that came up. And so I made that choice to not release an episode last week. That was hard.

[00:02:12] I needed to pause. I needed to consider my schedule and my energy and listening to that rather than pushing through to keep a promise that I have to myself that didn't actually serve me last week. It actually pushed me in a way that wasn't serving you well and wasn't serving me well.

[00:02:34] And as I reflected on that, I wonder if you ever have that. Do you ever have times when you feel an obligation or a guilt that comes in that says, Hey, but you said you were going to stop doing that? How do you pause on that? And why are you now trying to protect that? And those voices come in there and guilt.

[00:03:02] I have to do this. I told them I was going to do this. And almost that assumption that if I don't do that, if I pause this, I'm going to let these people down. And yes, you might let them down. There is an element of leading people means you're going to disappoint somebody at some point.

[00:03:25] And yet, if you are not honoring your capacity as a leader and in leadership, that's actually not caring well for the people who are you're leading. If you are capable, if you fade away or if you burn out, that's actually letting down your business, your people, yourself in a bigger way than a short pause or a change in direction.

[00:03:54] So I want to pose a question for you. Where in your business are you holding a promise that is costing you more than it's giving to anybody around you? And have you given yourself permission to revisit that? There's so many people that I work with that, well, I promised that I would give this split.

[00:04:20] And so how do I now change that or give a different split to other people because they're going to be disappointed or they're expecting something else? Or I really wanted my business to serve this type of client. And that's where we have been headed. But now I want to change direction.

[00:04:43] And so is there permission to come back and say, no, this is who we're going to serve? Or, you know, we've always done team meetings and it doesn't feel like that is actually serving the purpose of the culture that I want anymore or the frequency of them. And but I feel like I have to keep doing it. And I resent every time I show up in that team meeting. And so is that actually effective?

[00:05:12] Is that serving the people that you have there? Do you have permission to change course in your business, no matter where that might be? Because you matter because you matter just as much as everybody else in that team, that you matter just as much as your business does. And those are hard questions.

[00:05:36] And sometimes that leads to now I need to be super vulnerable with everybody around me. I need to, you know, share all of the reasons why I'm making this because why else would they follow or they're not going to understand. So now I need to be vulnerable. And also we're therapists. We are vulnerable people. We value depth and connection.

[00:06:03] And yet I would actually challenge you that as a leader, you don't have to be vulnerable in order to be authentic. I'm going to say that again. As a leader, you do not need to be vulnerable with your team in order to be authentic with them. And I think that's a lot of the nuance that we have is how do I protect myself? How do I stop things? How do I put a pause on?

[00:06:32] How do I protect me in order to be authentic with my team? Or how do I stop what I'm saying? How do I put a pause on how much I'm sharing? How do I protect what's going on within me or in my personal life and still be authentic with the people on my team? This is the conversation that we had in the leadership cohort that I'm in. And it just really struck me.

[00:07:02] Authenticity is something that's important. For me, integrity, huge. I want to be authentic. I want to be the same person here on the podcast as in a coaching session, as in a clinical session, as hanging out with my friends. That, you know, you will see the same person in all of those places. It also doesn't mean that I am as vulnerable in a clinical setting. I'm not as vulnerable when I'm sitting coaching someone.

[00:07:32] I need to have people in my life where I can be vulnerable and have that support so that I can authentically show up as the leader that I want to be and guide or whatever term you want to use with that and protecting me so that I can protect you. Over sharing with your team is not transparency.

[00:07:59] Telling them everything that is going on and why you made this big decision can feel like, well, that's transparency, that's vulnerability. But actually, it can destabilize the people that you're leading as opposed to steady them.

[00:08:18] So think of a time when you were with someone and they shared so much information and it actually wasn't appropriate given the relationship that you had with them. And notice how you felt in that situation. And now turn that around. If you are leading people, if they're looking for you to say, this is where the business is going. This is how I think you can serve this client.

[00:08:46] This is how we take care of our team. If you now overshare and give them too much information, then are you their leader or do they now need to take care of you as opposed to knowing that you can take care of them? And so sometimes that is I need to stop doing this in order to achieve this.

[00:09:12] And that could be in order to achieve how I want to show up as a leader or I need to put a pause on this offering that I have been giving you. And that is going to be effective for all of us in this way. I don't and you don't have to share all of the details. So being authentic is your responsibility.

[00:09:38] Being vulnerable is a gift that you give in the right rooms. I actually want to repeat that one again, too. So being authentic is your responsibility as a leader. People know when you're being fake. They know when you are not being authentic and showing up as who you are. Being vulnerable is a gift that you give in the right rooms.

[00:10:04] So that's finding peers, friends, come and join us in the group practice connection. Finding people who get the struggles that come with being a leader so that you can be authentic in the room with your team. And I want to encourage you to sit with that a little bit as you navigate this summer, as you look ahead at who you want to be as a leader and what the fall and the winter are going to look like.

[00:10:35] So I'm going to do a little bit of a shift here. As we look ahead at the summer, I also needed to figure out how to protect my energy. I need to have a break in the summer and also want to support you and some of the things that you are facing right now.

[00:10:56] And so what I've done is we're going to shift a little bit of how Empowered to Lead shows up over the next couple of months. I didn't want to stop. I feel like it's important to have some of these resources, have some of these connections as we go through the summer. And yet I also need, I'm recognizing that I really need some relaxation time and having some fun.

[00:11:25] And so I have pre-recorded all of these sessions for the summer and it is going to be awesome. I really hope that as you're sitting on the beach or you're driving along to wherever you're going, that you can listen in because I think what's going to happen for you over the summer is you're going to see bits of you in some of the stories that we've got. So I have been talking to group practice owners literally from coast to coast in Canada.

[00:11:54] And I heard some of the things that you're struggling with that you're wanting to know that you're not alone with. So when is it time to expand? What does hiring look like? What does leadership look like? When is it time to stay small or not expand? And so we have recorded episodes with a variety of different group practice owners just hearing their stories.

[00:12:19] There's not actually any specific teaching in this, but I think you're going to glean a lot from them. Hearing some of their decision points, some of the structures that they've had in place. And it has been so fun to do this. So there won't be video over the summer in case you've been watching. It will only be voice. And part of that is my protect, some of that pause thing on there,

[00:12:46] and also just making it easier for some of my guests to show up in that way. Because sometimes when you're watching yourself on the screen, you get very awkward or feel super vulnerable. So we just did voice. And I just have been asking their stories. I've been asking everybody how they would describe themselves as a leader. And then we dig into something that they've done well, some of the decisions that they've made.

[00:13:13] And I'm, yeah, I can't wait for you to listen in. So next week, there will not be an episode. Just to kind of be a natural pause between what we have been doing and then the summer months. We're going to then listen in on some of the people who have chosen to stay small. And then we're going to go through the summer months with a variety of those stories.

[00:13:40] And the invitation for you to see, learn, and grow as a group practice owner as you choose. And then as we go into the fall, we'll be launching a new season. I'm really looking forward to some of the people that I have lined up to come and meet with me and to really meet some of the topics that you are looking for.

[00:14:04] So if there's something that you would really like to hear about or you're like, hey, Lisa, can we dig in a little bit into this topic? Shoot me an email. Lisa at grouppractisenetwork.ca. I would love to hear that so that the fall really hits the ground running with what is of value to you as a Canadian clinic owner and leader.

[00:14:27] And so some of those structures, some of the skills as a leader, whatever that is that might meet your needs. And yeah, I've said it a couple of times. I want to close with a bit of an invitation for you. I'm super excited for what you're going to experience here on the Empowered to Lead over the coming months, over the summer. I want to invite you to again consider what do you need to stop, start and pause.

[00:14:57] I want to also invite you to consider who do you have in your corner so that you can be vulnerable there and then be authentic with your team. I also want to invite you to come and join us in the group practice connection. So we are still meeting in the summer, supporting each other, getting teaching, having some resources in there to help you lead well. And then in the fall, the numbers room is going to be launching.

[00:15:26] There's a lot of exciting things that are happening within the group practice network. So I hope you have a great day. I'm looking forward to coming back and doing some more solo episodes in the fall. In the meantime, enjoy the episodes. Enjoy your time off and shoot me an email if you feel like you need some extra support or just want to say, hey, this is what's going on for me. I just want somebody else to know. Have a great day.

[00:15:57] Thanks for hanging out with me on Empowered to Lead, the therapist's practice. I hope you're walking away with something that you can put into action because leadership isn't about doing more. It's about leading with purpose. If you're ready for deeper support, I'd love to see you inside the group practice connection. My monthly membership where Canadian therapists like you get coaching, community and the tools to build a business that actually supports your life. You can check it out at grouppractisenetwork.ca.

[00:16:26] The link's in the show notes. And hey, don't forget to hit follow so you don't miss what's coming next. We're building something great here and I'm so glad you're a part of it.