The Real Reason You Work Hard But Still Struggle to Build Wealth

[00:00:00] Aligned Wealth is not about working harder. It's about becoming the woman who is a match for the wealth she desires. So today, by the time we're done, we're going to be able to identify your current wealth identity. And I want to make sure that by the end, you're also understanding exactly how and why it's keeping you stuck, frustrated.

[00:00:24] And you're going to understand how 3HQs involve your head, your heart, your highest self. And when they are in conflict, what happens with money? It literally like it repels away from you and your relationship with money. I want you to be thinking of it as you're married to your money.

[00:00:49] You're married to your revenue and how you're treating it and how you're going about it and what you are, how you're positioning it in your life will directly affect things that are happening to you in your negotiation meetings, in getting more clients, in keeping them and feeling like there's a real sense of like, oh, wow, they're not just here for this, but there's additional possibilities.

[00:01:17] There's possibilities for future opportunities. But if you at all are letting your money stories kind of just go, just run rampant, just exist, it directly will impact even when you're not noticing it at that subconscious level. I don't want you to think that you need more strategy. You don't.

[00:01:44] You don't need like, oh, let me just like perfect this next offer. Sometimes you got the greatest offer and it's just not landing. It's just not resonating. And today I just want to help you have that awareness because your identity is everything. And if you can't get past your stories, how do you create that next version of you? Because it's a blocker. You can have, again, all the right tactics.

[00:02:12] You can put the best presentations in place. But literally your wealth identity is always going to be operating from your stories, your old stories about what is safe for you. So I want to ask you this. What's safe for you? What's safe for you to earn, keep, receive? I'm finding more women frustrated with what's happening.

[00:02:41] And I just want to see, is that resonating? Like there's this level of like, I don't even think it's stuck right now. It's really not this feeling is stuck because we're moving. We're like doing things. But it's frustration that what we're doing isn't quite landing us with where we thought we should be at this point. Right? And one of the things that I used to, I haven't done in a long time, I'm laughing at myself.

[00:03:06] I used to say when we were doing a lot of things in person and somebody would be like, oh my God, I just, you know, I feel like it's a roller coaster. One month I'm making money. The next I'm not making it. The next I am. And I'd say, pull out your wallet. And that's when we had it. We used to carry cash. Remember now? I don't even know if I have a dollar in my wallet right now, but you'd have it. And I'd look. And if it was all messed up and there was no, and it's floating around and there's dollar here, quarter there. It's all over the place.

[00:03:34] Your relationship with money is right there. If you are not, I mean, that's a direct indicator. If you don't go and really look at specifically your books, why do I say once a week you should be going in and really maybe even more, if you have a real aversion to it, even more looking at the numbers, getting comfortable with the numbers. How many just say, you know, it's one of the last things that I really want to think about.

[00:04:03] I'll just not. Not. And how would that be if you ignored your business partner? If you ignored somebody that you're trying to have a really amazing relationship with, what would happen? If you did that, you'd have no relationship. So I'm trying to get you to really think about changing it up. So again, I want you to do a quick money reality check.

[00:04:30] When it comes to wealth, when it comes to money, which of these feels most true for where you are right now? Okay. So number one, I work hard, but money still feels inconsistent or unpredictable. Put that one down. If number two, I'm good at making money, but terrible at keeping it. And then three, I undercharge, overgive, make myself too available.

[00:04:56] And you might be like, well, I don't, you know, I don't really undercharge, but I do make myself too available. Generic terms here. Okay. Then four, I feel guilty wanting more money. I feel guilty when I think of how much I could be making, right? It's right.

[00:05:14] It's that whole idea of, I've mentioned in the past, I had a client over in London and she was like, I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and we wanted a car, you know, an upgraded car, a nicer car. And she fought it for so long. She's like, our car's fine, our car's fine, our car's fine. But what she didn't realize is the car was actually holding her back. It was a symbol of her past identity.

[00:05:43] Does that make sense? It was a symbol because it wasn't allowing her to step in. Cause she was so like, oh my God, what are my parents going to think? What are my siblings going to say? What are my friends? They're going to be like, oh my God, look at what, you know, they're no longer like us. Five. I know I meant for more wealth, but something keeps pulling me back. I want you to be super honest. Again, no judgment.

[00:06:08] This woman, she was a chef and she went to a farmer's markets and was selling her cupcakes. And said, I don't like to be in the front. Like, you know, I'll just sit back and, you know, let people come and all that.

[00:06:26] And I said to her on one call, I said, you know, if you're just sitting back, you're telling me you had this great grandmother who made these and you want to share this because it brings families together. That's why I'm, that's what her big, you know, behind the scenes. Why am I doing this business? Cause she really wanted to help families come back together. Cause she felt society was breaking families apart. And I said, so what's happening.

[00:06:54] If you stay in the back of that tent. And it was like, Oh, old story. Identity would not let her move forward. What did she do? She took it. It was like a wake up call. And she started to be like, Oh my gosh, she got out of her own way. It's these people like, you know, that are on a social and they're like, Oh, I'm so embarrassed. I hate my voice. I hate the way I look.

[00:07:22] Let me tell you, you go live 10 times. You post pictures. You do all of a sudden it's like, you break through your current identity. And it's exactly what I'm telling you that if you think about your upbringing, your money story, your current identity, your behavior with money, easy come, easy go, right? Whatever it is.

[00:07:52] It's like that. We don't question. We just do. It's just the way we've always done it. But here's the problem. The way we always have done it when there is a changing world around us will stop us. Stop us from moving forward. Stop us from having that success. Make it a heck of a lot more challenging to have the success. Make it feel like some days you don't even want to do this anymore.

[00:08:21] Like why? This is not what I signed up for. Most women are operating from what I call scarcity, wealth alignment, scarcity, wealth, right? And if you have scarcity, wealth identity, that is, hey, don't ask for too much. Don't be greedy as who are you proving something to.

[00:08:47] So much of women's base around their financial wealth identity is around who are we trying to prove something to that may not even be alive anymore. We sit there and we're like, keep yourself small, affordable. So people are going to like you, want to work with you. And then you get pushback with like, hey, it doesn't even seem like, you know, is this a good deal? Change when she got, how many of your voices change when you get to the offer?

[00:09:17] When you get to asking for something money-wise? You get that, like either you go higher, you know, like, you know, you sound like a little girl and, you know, oh my God, we can do this. This is, this is going to be a big deal. This is such a good opportunity for you. Instead of that confidence, here's why we're doing this. Here's how this is going to help you. And it ends up costing you.

[00:09:45] It's costing you when you undercharge. It's costing you when you're over delivering. It's costing you when you're not confident in what you're saying. All of this is like, just think of it like leaking. It's that leak, constant leak. And what does a leak do? When you have a leak in your house and the toilet's leaking, it's just like your water bill goes way up, right? Money just goes out the door.

[00:10:14] That's what you're doing. You're like a toilet linking. We can't do that. We got to, we got to make sure that we're, hey, I don't want to be a toilet. I want to be a pool. I want to be like, I want to be something that I'm, you know, growing into. Because I want you to know there are two kinds of wealth identities that you can operate from. Again, scarcity, wealth identity. And they say, oh, there's not enough. I have to hustle harder. All this stuff, right?

[00:10:45] Over and over. And then there is the other identity. And this is the identity. And by the way, that I have to say, that's always going to be exhausting. Exhausting. Exhausting. Right? Then there's aligned wealth identity. And this is where I try to get everybody. I'm worthy of wealth. My value, it's not negotiable. I get to receive abundantly. I make decisions.

[00:11:13] I, when I speak, my words that are coming out are the words I'm actually thinking. So my wealth reflects my truth. The shift between these two identities isn't about like your vision board, your affirmations. It's not. It's literally about thinking, how can I rewire my nervous system? So the reframe that I want you to take is wealth is not something that you chase.

[00:11:42] Wealth is something that you become aligned with. Think about that. Wealth isn't something that you're constantly chasing. And for many of us, you know, we hear, oh my God, you got to just keep working harder, harder, harder, chase, chase, chase, chase, run, run, run, run, run, repeat, repeat, repeat. One of these days it'll work. It's not. You have to be aligned. You align your identity, your energy, your decisions, your standards.

[00:12:10] And then your wealth will flow to that. That's the difference between women who are constantly struggling with money and women who seem to really like, oh my God, like Midas touch. How many, like, you know, you hear this, like, oh my God, she works on stuff and it just happens. But it's not, it's not, it's not luck. It's not like this privilege that, you know, oh, it just happens.

[00:12:37] It's really what the base of alignment is all about. And this is probably the biggest point I want to make. Alignment is a practice. Alignment is all about 3HQ. That's what it is. So I want you again, pause, reflect for 30 seconds. Ask yourself, what is your current wealth identity right now?

[00:13:07] Finish the sentence. When it comes to money, I'm the woman who always, when it comes to money, I'm the woman who always, who always doesn't have enough, overspends. What is it? I don't want to fill in too many of the blanks because I want it to be you. Don't make it sound good. I'm not going to ask you to read it. This is for you.

[00:13:37] So I want you, when you have more time to come back to this, and it's, sometimes it's

[00:14:18] really tough because we do, we're always so busy being busy that you don't have time to reflect. And I'll tell you, reflection is also the key to your future identity. You don't give yourself time enough to really reflect. So please, please take the time to really see, you know, not just what you're writing down, but how does it, so let's talk about the framework. That's that whole 3HQ. The rules you think you have to follow.

[00:14:46] Your heart, the head is always the rules you think, but the heart is your emotional relationship with money. So would you say, you know, there's guilt, there's shame, fear. Is there desire? Is there not enough? You know, is there the relationship that you have that kind of it's, it's hot and cold. Again, I love saying this is your, you're married right now to your wealth, to your revenue.

[00:15:14] And how would you behave? How are you behaving? All of a sudden you're going to marriage counseling right now. What would that, what would that look like? Because when all three head, heart, highest self are aligned. I mean, everything changes. Everything down to how you operate, how you come into the world, how you look at things. Like, so the head is the unregulated around. This is what it looks like. I can't charge that much. People will think I'm greedy.

[00:15:43] I should just be grateful for what I have. What if no one buys? I'm not good with money. You know, I got this from a lot of them. I go, you know, oh, rich people there, you know, gosh, there's, and especially these days that things are being like just absolutely done that people are like, oh, I don't want to be like that. But that's holding you back from who do you really want to be then? Right. I mean, we want, when you regulate your head and you regulate your thoughts around it, I'm worthy of wealth.

[00:16:12] My prices reflect my value. I make clear, confident decisions. Wealth is available to me. That's when the shift happens, when you name the old story and then you consciously choose a new one. That's all head work. Okay. The heart, this is really interesting. Unregulated around money looks like you've got the guilt every time you spend on yourself. You know, oh my God, I shouldn't have bought that. I shouldn't have bought that. Anxiety about checking your bank account.

[00:16:39] I keep talking about shame about wanting more resentment because you're working so hard and it's never enough, right? Oh my God. Well, but I still need to get this and I still have to buy a now look, I'm paying this person. Okay. So the heart regulated looks like feeling calm, trusting that you can handle whatever comes. The shift happens when you stop bypassing your emotions and you actually feel into them, feel what's true.

[00:17:08] That's when the heart is working. And then the highest self, I just want to make sure you all understand. So offline, when it's offline around money, it looks like making decisions from fear. It's that scarcity, people pleasing. You're always being reactive. You hear me talk about the struggle bus, survival mode, right? But highest self when it's online looks like making decisions from that future self.

[00:17:34] The version of you who's already been in alignment, who understands she's calm, she's clear. She knows that this is the impact, the purpose of where I'm going. The shift happens when you pause before every money decision. I want you to think about this. And you ask, what would the version of me who already has this choose?

[00:18:00] What would the person who already has bypassed this, that this is like, you know what? I know I need to do this because this will get me further ahead in my business. You're not operating in fear. You're operating knowing what you already know about how you're going to get there. That's higher self. Which H is most offline for you right now? Which H is most offline when it comes to money?

[00:18:29] Is head spinning in fear-based stories around money as the heart feeling, guilt, shame, highest self? You're making decisions from scarcity instead of abundance. So if you think about the identity, your head scripts around money, what you're saying, they're automatic thoughts, beliefs you have about money, the ones you don't even question, right? No filtering. And what I want you to be thinking, identify your head scripts.

[00:18:56] This is when you're going through 3HQ and you're like, okay, it's a head thing. It's a head. What is it? What am I thinking right now? What is coming up for me? What are my thoughts? If you just do this for 10 seconds, it's like it changes everything. Everything around how you are viewing and what you will do and how you will deliver it. I want you to drop in your heart, ask, what do I really want? What do I really want?

[00:19:26] Because as soon as you can tell your body, your 3HQ system, this is what I'm going for. It starts to all come together. So what would your mantra be? If you know you are married to your money and you are the best spouse on the planet, like you are all in love notes, little nice smiles, messages, like you are great. What would you be doing?

[00:19:54] I am the woman who you can't shift a wealth identity by just thinking about it. You have to take aligned action. So I want you to choose one specific wealth action that you're going to take in the next 72 hours. We're small. I'm just going to be very aware before I do anything. I'm going to say, Hey, is there a money story here? My two in my head. Am I in my heart right now? What am I feeling? Is it a good feeling?

[00:20:22] Oh, remember it's not truth. It's fear. Fear is what we believe to be in the future that hasn't even happened already. Right. But you have the ability. You have the ability to change everything around your money story, to really be thinking about it. And I love this. I said, I said at one point, aligned wealth is not about working harder.

[00:20:49] It's about becoming the woman who is a match for the wealth she desires. All right. Your next level is waiting. Thanks for tuning in. This is amazing what we're doing right now. ReLaunch to a Rich Life. If today's episode sparks something in you, don't keep it to yourself. Please share it.

[00:21:16] I'll tell you more later about how that actually helps you have more success yourself. Subscribe so you don't miss one episode. Let's create unstoppable momentum together. So until next time, keep relaunching, keep rising. And remember, it's go time.