In this episode of The Healers Café, Jennifer described a path from critical care nursing and healthcare administration to holistic health education, stress management, and transformational coaching.
For the transcript and full story go to: https://www.drmanonbolliger.com/jennifer-tolo
Highlights from today's episode include:
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Jennifer: Her ABCs "brain break"—build awareness, balance with breath and mindset, then connect with what you can control—to interrupt stress spirals and make purposeful choices. [43:28]
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Jennifer: Health advice isn't one-size-fits-all; consider the research alongside a person's individual needs, biomarkers, and lifestyle. [31:24]
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Manon: Open conversation needs room for opposing perspectives—and medical information shouldn't be suppressed. [30:53]
Jennifer Wren Tolo, R.N, aka "The Soul Connecter" is an award-winning health & wellness educator, renowned speaker and transformational life coach who empowers multitasking, success-minded women to take back their happiness,health and personal power. As a former critical care nurse, and after experiencing life threatening illnesses with two of her four sons, Tolo developed her signature method, the "ABC's of Stress Management." For over 18 years, she has helped clients connect with their inner voices and the wisdom of their souls to leave survival mode behind and reclaim power over their life.
Core purpose/passion: I love supporting strong, independent, multitasking, success-driven women take back control of their happiness, health and purpose without sacrificing their success. I empower women to reconnect with their inner power, find and trust their authentic voice, balance their lives and move beyond burnout. I am passionate about helping service driven women prioritize their own health and wellbeing so they can continue to show up and help others without sacrificing themselves.
Website | LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram | Pillar | YouTube
ABOUT MANON BOLLIGER, RBHT, FCAH:
As a retired Naturopath 1992-2021, I saw an average of 150 patients per week and have helped people ranging from rural farmers in Nova Scotia to stressed out CEOs in Toronto to tri-athletes here in Vancouver.
My resolve to educate, empower and engage people to take charge of their own health is evident in my best-selling books: 'What Patients Don't Say if Doctors Don't Ask: The Mindful Patient-Doctor Relationship' and 'A Healer in Every Household: Simple Solutions for Stress'. and What if Your Body is Smarter than You Think? I am the Founder & CEO of The Bowen College Inc. which teaches BowenFirst™ Therapy and holds transformational workshops to achieve these goals.
So, when I share with you that LISTENing to Your body is a game changer in the healing process, I am speaking from expertise and direct experience".
Mission: A Healer in Every Household!
For more great information to go to her weekly blog: http://bowencollege.com/blog.
For tips on health & healing go to: https://www.drmanonbolliger.com/tips
Follow: Manon Bolliger website | Linktr.ee | Rumble | Gettr | Facebook | Instagram | YouTube | Twitter | LinkedIn |
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* De-Registered, revoked & retired naturopathic physician after 30 years of practice in healthcare. Now resourceful & resolved to share with you all the tools to take care of your health & vitality!
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Ending: Welcome to the Healers Cafe: Conversations on Help and
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Healing at Manob Bolliger, a retired and deregistered
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naturopathic physician with 30 plus years of experience. Here
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you will discover engaging and informative conversations
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between experienced healers, covering all aspects of healing,
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the personal journey, the journey of the practitioner, and
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the amazing possibilities for our own body and spirit.
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Manon Bolliger: Welcome to the Healers Cafe, and today I have
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with me Jennifer Ren Tolo. She's an RN, aka the Soul Connector,
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and is an award-winning health and wellness educator, renowned
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speaker, and transformational life coach who empowers
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multitasking. We'll talk about that success-minded woman to
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take back their happiness, health, and personal power. As a
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former critical care nurse, and after experiencing
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life-threatening illnesses with two of her four sons, Tolo
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developed her signature method, the ABCs of stress management,
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and for over 18 years she has helped clients connect with
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their inner voices and the wisdom of their souls to leave
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survival mode behind and reclaim power over their life. Well, I
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think this interview is at the most appropriate time. So, at
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least in almost every life I know. So, yeah. Well, welcome.
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And I was just going to give the floor to you. I was going to ask
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you what started, but basically, obviously, your bio explains
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what started your journey into this. Yeah, maybe you could
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expand and share.
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Jennifer Tolo: Sure. Well, you know, like a lot of
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success-minded women, I thought if I do this, then this is going
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to happen, right? If as long as I get it all right, and I was,
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you know, looking for the information, looking for other
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people to tell me what I needed and tell me what to do. And when
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I was a kid, I was always very intuitive, and I had, you know,
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I sensed energy, I sensed things, I kind of just knew
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things, but I couldn't explain why. But when I was a kid, that
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got shut down because it, you know, my mother it made her
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nervous, and she said, and and now I understand as a mom, it's
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because she didn't want people looking at me funny, she didn't
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want people judging me, so she said, stop doing that, people
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are going to think you're weird, and I think it made her nervous
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because it was for a lot of people when you can't explain
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something and you don't understand something; it can be
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scary, right? So, needless to say, I kind of dove into more of
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the science and the logic and the finding proof for what I
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believed. And I've always been drawn to people. I'm a nurturer
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by you know just the core of me as a nurturer, But it was really
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my kid's illness that awake reawakened me to my intuition
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and to trusting that intuition and to using it to guide me and
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to look within myself instead of looking outside of myself for
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answers. It really showed me the gaps of healthcare, and at this
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point, I was a critical care nurse. I was a nurse manager. I
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had a master's degree in administration, and I'd always
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been interested in fitness and nutrition, but I never really
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grasped the the the complementary and alternative,
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or the lifestyle parts of healthcare. I knew about it, but
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I never knew enough about it to really feel comfortable coaching
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others. And my son, my second son, when he was, I did
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everything right. Right, I ate all the right things. I
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exercised. I took care of my body. I took all my prenatal
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vitamins. I did all this stuff, and my son had a massive
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neonatal stroke at birth, and that really like awakened me to
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the gaps in healthcare. And
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Manon Bolliger: when was that? How long ago was there?
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Jennifer Tolo: Well, he's 24 right now, so that was 24 years
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ago. Yeah, yeah. He was an hour, like an hour after he was born.
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I had a C section, and I remember thinking, like,
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"Where's my baby? Why aren't they bringing me my baby? It was
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a scheduled C section, and I this, of course, I was in a bit
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of a Demerol fog because they give you all these drugs when
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they do the C section. But I remember just as a nurse, as a
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critical care nurse, I could not wrap my head around what was
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going on. All I thought was, and again, how many of your
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listeners like the supposed tos, right? I'm supposed to have my
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baby right now. I'm supposed to hold my baby right now. I'm
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supposed to be nursing my baby right now. I'm supposed to be
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bonding with my baby right now, and I couldn't even hold my baby
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because my baby was seizing and stopped breathing. And they just
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told me, you know, just wait, just wait. And then, as they
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were doing the testing, I said, "Well, can I at least hold him?
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And they didn't want me to hold him. And again, I, the critical
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care nurse of me should have understood what was going on,
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but the mom, the intuitive soul being of me, was like, "I I need
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to connect with my child. And I remember waking up in the
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hospital, all the baby's crying, and my baby wound up getting
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whisked away to a teaching hospital 30 miles away, and I
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was having a little pity party for myself. You know, sobbing in
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my room, like again, this is not supposed to be happening. What
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is going on? And then I heard this voice inside of me that
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just said, "Breathe. You need to breathe. And I took some slow,
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deep breaths, and it's like this fog lifted, and the clarity
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came, and that clarity was, you just need to be with your son.
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Your son is going to show you the way. Just allow yourself to
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be guided. Trust your intuition. So you know, I got to the
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hospital, and where he was, and my husband's a surgeon, and my
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husband's laboring over neonatal intensive care books. And I'm
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like, buddy, this is not what we need right now. We need to just
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be the parents. And you know, there were so many different
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doctors and specialists looking at my son that none of them were
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communicating. And so I really use use my voice, and I spoke
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up, and I said, "Hey, wait a minute! Can we all just get on
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the same page? Like, what's going on here? You guys are
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saying this, but that's absolutely counter to what these
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guys are saying. So, can we come up with a plan where we're all
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on the same page? And I really just, you know, talked to the
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nurse. I had an amazing nurse. I said, "I really just need to
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hold my baby. She's like, we can make that happen. And at this
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point, he was intubated. He had tubes coming out of him, and
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those amazing nurses in the the NICU just were like, we're
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gonna, we're have a seat, Mama. We're gonna get you to hold this
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baby, because my soul needed to just connect with this beautiful
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little child, and so that was kind of my awakening, and then I
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had a dear friend of mine that had been trying to train me in
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Reiki, and I'm like, "That's cute for you, but that's not
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really my thing. But with my son, she's like, "He's having
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trouble getting grounded. You're going to need to do Reiki. I
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want to teach you Reiki. I was like, "There's nothing you won't
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do for your child as a mom. There's nothing I won't do for
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my children. So I learned Reiki, and I dove into nutrition
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because I know nutrition is important for cellular health,
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for the brain, for development. So dove into nutrition, got my
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first nutrition certification. I became a personal trainer
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because my son was having trouble, didn't move his right
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side. So I wanted to understand the body and how I can help him
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get strong and all that. I dove into neurology and understanding
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the brain and the different areas of the brain and what they
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control.
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So it really, again, it was like, all right, let your soul
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guide you here, let your child soul guide you. And it also was
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interesting because my oldest son, my firstborn, was like the
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perfect child, right? And so you had all these, all these
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thoughts and expectations about how life was supposed to be, how
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kids were supposed to be. My child is going to do this, and
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so this experience really taught me I have to let go of
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expectations. I have to just meet my child and let him tell
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me and show me who he is and what he needs. He wound up
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having massive cognitive behavioral challenges, learning
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disabilities, all that. And you know, a couple years after this
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event, my third son, same day I was found found out my fourth
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son, my fourth child was a boy, I found out my third son had
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leukemia, and again, my mother's brain wouldn't go there. I know
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the signs, but I didn't see them because I didn't want to see
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them, right? As a as a mom, and so, but at this point, I already
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had the tools that I needed to help guide us through this. I
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knew about nutrition, so when the nutritionist said to me,
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"Just get calories in them, and families would be waiting for
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their children after procedures with Dunkin' Donut or with
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McDonald's or Dairy Queen and Smiles, I'd be like, "No, I need
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to get good quality nutrition because as the chemotherapy is."
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Killing all of his cells, I need good nutrition to help rebuild
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this. So I really I did Reiki on him every single day, and he
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never had the really bad side effects. I learned about
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mindfulness for myself to really take care of myself because I if
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I let myself get too far ahead, it was overwhelming, and I
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really needed because I was growing a baby inside of me. I
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had to really be present, and I had to really take care of
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myself in this. So it was all quite the awakening for me, and
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it really showed me kind of about the importance of self
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care, the importance of managing stress and the importance of
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really checking your expectations and being more
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present in your life, and the importance of lifestyle for
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health and well-being. So, and I'm happy to say, my kids, you
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know, my oldest is 26. The one that has stroke is 24. The one
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that had leukemia is 21, and my baby's 18, and they're all doing
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great.
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Manon Bolliger: Wow!
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Jennifer Tolo: Yeah,
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Manon Bolliger: that's quite a eventful. Yeah,
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Jennifer Tolo: yeah, yeah. Well, it's what I needed to to like.
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Hey, administration's not your role. Like that's not your
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calling, right? You're not going to fix healthcare through
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systems, right? That's not the way to fix healthcare. You're
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going to fix healthcare by reconnecting to the roots and
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prevention and connection and self awareness, and that that's
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really at the heart of health and well being. It's not
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something you get outside of you or you fix. It's something you
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have to cultivate. Yeah.
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Manon Bolliger: Do you think that's where we're going now?
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This, the I don't mean the established. I think it's going
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down, but yeah. But the like, I guess the those who have chosen
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different paths and are aware that yeah, there's a limitation
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to a money making industry. Yeah,
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Jennifer Tolo: well, it's not really. I mean, it's crazy to
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think about the people that are making the money. I mean, I I
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can I am married to a surgeon, okay, and I know that back in
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the day, surgeons made tons of money, and they but they've gone
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to school for a long time. They have a skill set different than
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everybody. If you think about it, like plumber, I have a good
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friend of mine that's a plumber. He makes what my husband makes,
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right? Yeah, so I think that the money making is in the
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pharmaceuticals. I agree. I don't think.
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Manon Bolliger: I agree. It's in
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Jennifer Tolo: the systems. Yeah,
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Manon Bolliger: correct. Yeah, absolutely. It's not the doctors
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per se. I mean, you know, there are sometimes money grab
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opportunities, but but that's not the that's not the problem.
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You know, the problem is way more systemic.
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Jennifer Tolo: Well, and I think it's it's the way that we are
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also teaching. So I was teaching in a nursing school for a while.
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I took this semester off, but for five years I've been
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teaching holistic and complementary approaches to
00:13:18
health and healing in the nursing school, and it was a
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very popular class. I helped develop a minor that was a an
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integrative health minor. It's people are hungry for this. I
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think. I think that people are recognizing. I don't want to
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take all the pills. I don't feel good taking the pills. I want to
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be proactive in my health. But at the same token, one thing
00:13:43
that I discovered, and my when I first started my my business, I
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started a company called Butterfly Family Wellness,
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really looking at more of the nutritional, and physical, and
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mental aspects of health and well being. But what I found was
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so many of the women, the root of so much of it was stress, and
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you know, even in so many, when I think about so many of like
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even in critical care, like a lot, the root of so much of our
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health disturbances is stress. Whether it's nutritional stress,
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whether it's environmental stress, emotional stress,
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spiritual stress, physical stress, but stress was at the
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root of it. So I really kind of became a stress and resiliency
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expert because of that. Because I realized even for myself, I
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had migraine headaches, irritable bowel syndrome. I had
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a migraine headache. I had migraines so badly that I
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thought I was having a stroke, and I cured myself of this by
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learning to manage my stress. You know, my my my hydration, my
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you know my emotional stress, my physical stress. I was over
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exercising, under eating, and just tapping out my body. So,
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but I feel. Like when I teach in the nursing school, one of the
00:15:02
big things is people say, "Oh, healthcare costs, and they think
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it's because doctors are making so much money.
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Manon Bolliger: They
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Jennifer Tolo: talk about universal care; everybody needs
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healthcare. I was like, "Well, here's the thing: there's not
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enough resources to go around at this point. And if we, when you
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look at health, and you look at what is driving healthcare costs
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so high. It's chronic disease. It's preventable diseases, and
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it's because we, as healthcare professionals in the
00:15:34
mainstream-not in the holistic world, but in the
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mainstream-have been taught to see a problem, fix it. That
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there is a pill for an ill, or cut it out, right? But we
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haven't looked at what the root cause is. We haven't looked at
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okay, what are the lifestyle modifications that we can make?
00:15:54
I mean, I was talking to somebody. Said, yeah, my doctor
00:15:56
told me to get more fiber. Where? How do I get more fiber
00:15:59
in my diet? And I'm like, that's that's the thing is we we know
00:16:01
enough to say yeah, lose weight, exercise more, eat better,
00:16:06
right? But but a lot of medical practitioners do not have the
00:16:11
knowledge. There was a study done about this. They don't have
00:16:14
the knowledge to say, okay, but how do you do that? Let's get
00:16:17
specific about how you're going to do that. So I feel like there
00:16:22
are as far as your question recircling back to that your
00:16:26
question about are we getting are do we think do I think we're
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getting there I think there's an interest I think there's a lot
00:16:32
of physicians nurse practitioners PAs there's
00:16:37
naturopaths out there there's functional medical doctors there
00:16:40
are a lot of people that are seeing that we have to get back
00:16:43
to root cause medicine. That we have to get back to lifestyle. I
00:16:47
think the systems have a long way to go. I think that there
00:16:52
are some extremes on both ends. On the holistic realm, there are
00:16:58
some extremes that can sometimes pull us out of balance, and on
00:17:03
the medical, the traditional medical practice, there are some
00:17:06
extremes as we talked about, right? That are like aggressive,
00:17:10
right? So I feel like as everything, when you have
00:17:13
extremes, we have to start to settle, and I feel like it's
00:17:15
starting to settle where we're starting to get a little bit
00:17:19
more connected with ourselves, but it's hard because it
00:17:24
requires the individual instead of to be a passive observer of
00:17:29
their life and looking to others to fix them. It requires people
00:17:34
to be active co-creators, co-directors of their life, and
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to be accountable for their choices. Your choice is your
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greatest superpower.
00:17:45
Manon Bolliger: Yeah, and I, I think you know. Just add to
00:17:49
that, and I, I agree with what you're saying, is that as long
00:17:55
as we are in the delusion that the the infrastructure is the
00:18:03
the god of knowing, you know, or as Fauci says, I am, I am the
00:18:10
what did he say? I am the medicine. No, I am the I am the
00:18:15
science. Yes, sorry, you know. No, not yeah, yeah. You know, I
00:18:20
think it's very hard to stop the brainwashing that we have
00:18:27
undergone. You know, in other words, when the medical system
00:18:32
married the marketing system, and they did, you know, create
00:18:39
the problem for which then we have COVID, you know, create a
00:18:44
problem for which we then have a solution, which of course we
00:18:48
prepared long before we created that problem because we already
00:18:53
had the, you know, the faulty tests and the this and they they
00:18:57
had all the marketing all organized before they had their
00:19:01
preemptive meeting. They had Fauci warn that this was going
00:19:06
to happen. Like whatever. There's enough. If you're paying
00:19:10
attention, there's enough evidence that this is a show. I
00:19:15
mean, but it's not a power.
00:19:17
Jennifer Tolo: It's a power. It's a power struggle. It's a
00:19:19
power grab. Yeah,
00:19:20
Manon Bolliger: it is, and the thing is that if hospitals and
00:19:25
institutions follow mandates that are from these false gods,
00:19:32
basically, and shut down like the media, any any you know
00:19:39
normal-minded doctor who says you know, and there's many of
00:19:43
them who have said no, no, no, this is going to cause havoc.
00:19:47
Now we have turbo deaths. We have, but they they're already
00:19:51
ready for that, right? Not to heal it or cure it, God forbid,
00:19:56
but to do what they do. And this is the thing: is like when. The
00:20:00
system's based on money, ultimately, and it's been power
00:20:06
Jennifer Tolo: and power and control and control.
00:20:09
Manon Bolliger: It's been infiltrated, you know. And I
00:20:11
think it's not the your husband didn't wake up one day and say,
00:20:15
"I'm just going to be this powerful. No, he wanted to help
00:20:20
people, right? Like, you know, same as as me in my industry,
00:20:25
but and you and and the thing is that, but we're taken over. You
00:20:29
know, like the naturopaths are taken over,
00:20:33
Jennifer Tolo: which is why we have this burnout, this epidemic
00:20:37
of burnout, because people. It's like when your soul and your
00:20:42
purpose is no longer aligned with your work because there are
00:20:48
obstacles preventing you from doing what you know to be the
00:20:51
right thing to do. It's this moral dilemma, and and it's
00:20:56
hard. And and as we saw, you know, during COVID, there were a
00:20:59
lot of voices being shut down. And I am a true believer that
00:21:04
education and information is really the key to health and
00:21:09
well-being. Like we need to educate people, right? You need
00:21:13
to have varying and conversation, conversation to
00:21:19
kind of tease out because this person's truth is not the same
00:21:22
as this person's truth, but the real truth, when you talk about
00:21:26
it, is somewhere in the middle,
00:21:28
Manon Bolliger: right?
00:21:28
Jennifer Tolo: Yeah,
00:21:30
Manon Bolliger: but I think too with education, you know,
00:21:31
because I know I I believe in education too, and I was like
00:21:36
educating people. Yeah, that's what I
00:21:38
Jennifer Tolo: mean. Yeah,
00:21:39
Manon Bolliger: when they're Brainwashed.
00:21:42
Jennifer Tolo: Yes,
00:21:43
Manon Bolliger: you're in psyop. You education doesn't work, and
00:21:47
that's the thing. Is they've been in this model for over 30
00:21:51
years in the medical model, brainwashing people. You're up
00:21:57
against a massive thing.
00:21:58
Jennifer Tolo: Yeah,
00:21:59
Manon Bolliger: that that's why we're in this, you know. It's
00:22:01
it's been whatever it's over 60 years trying to dismantle this
00:22:08
crazy thing that we're in, you know. And
00:22:11
Jennifer Tolo: well, and again, you have these extremes of
00:22:13
belief. You have these people that think, um, you know,
00:22:19
everybody has a right to healthcare and to being well,
00:22:22
but those same people aren't really into personal
00:22:25
accountability, right? And recognizing their role in their
00:22:29
own health and well-being, right? And their role in and and
00:22:33
the system's role in making people unwell,
00:22:36
Manon Bolliger: yeah, right, yeah.
00:22:38
Jennifer Tolo: And fear, fear is one of the biggest stressors out
00:22:41
there, and you know, COVID was one big fear mongering event.
00:22:46
Whether it was fear of the vaccine, fear of getting COVID,
00:22:50
fear of like it was fear all over the place. I mean, I had
00:22:53
people constantly saying to me, "What should I do? Should I take
00:22:56
the vaccine? Should I not get the vaccine? And I said, "That's
00:22:58
a personal decision, but you really have to check in with
00:23:02
yourself and ask yourself, what am I worried about? Like, what
00:23:05
am I afraid of? And then,
00:23:07
Manon Bolliger: Manon Bolliger here, and I want to thank you
00:23:09
for taking actionable steps towards engaging your healing
00:23:13
journey and helping others discover their path by watching,
00:23:19
sharing, subscribing, and reviewing these podcasts. Every
00:23:25
review and share helps spread the word on these different
00:23:29
perspectives and choices and options for healing. And to
00:23:33
thank you, I'd like to invite you to sign up to my free seven
00:23:37
sequence email tips on health and healing for everyday life,
00:23:42
and you can go to healerscafe.com. Tips. Thanks so
00:23:47
much.
00:23:52
Jennifer Tolo: Really tune into what feels right for me, what
00:23:55
works for my. You know, because there are a lot of people that
00:23:58
said if I don't take the vaccine, I'm not gonna. I'm
00:24:00
gonna lose my job if I don't get if my kids don't get the
00:24:03
vaccine. They can't go to school. If I don't do this, I
00:24:06
can't travel, and I've got to travel for my job. Like there
00:24:08
was a lot of factors that were adding to the stress and the
00:24:13
overwhelm. And they aren't stressed and overwhelmed. You
00:24:15
can't make the best decisions.
00:24:17
Manon Bolliger: No, no, exactly. And they shouldn't be. Those are
00:24:20
not the factors we should take into account on whether
00:24:23
something is healthy for us. Never mind preventative.
00:24:29
Apparently, it wasn't even one of the things they tested. You
00:24:33
know, and a
00:24:34
Jennifer Tolo: vaccine doesn't stop you from getting it.
00:24:37
Manon Bolliger: Then you have to ask a few questions. Yeah.
00:24:40
Sorry, I'm laughing, but I mean now the turbot cancers are going
00:24:43
wild, right? And and doctors are still like going. I don't.
00:24:49
There's a lot of them, but it's like they will not talk about
00:24:53
the thing that highly likely, you know, according to those
00:24:57
people are afraid
00:24:58
Jennifer Tolo: to because of course. And you speak out
00:25:00
against the system, they come for you. You know, they come at
00:25:06
you,
00:25:06
Manon Bolliger: and they do. And and that's I think the, you
00:25:09
know, that's why the problem is much bigger, right? Like that's
00:25:13
why is a you know, and I think it takes a a complete takedown
00:25:21
of this system, I'm hoping for that.
00:25:24
Jennifer Tolo: I agree, and I think actually it transcends
00:25:27
just healthcare. It's it you know politically, it's
00:25:31
educationally, it's like there's so many different things, and
00:25:34
again, we need to get back to common sense. We have to get
00:25:38
back to not reactivity, but responsiveness and and
00:25:44
responsibility. Like personal, like I need to educate myself. I
00:25:48
need to inform myself. I need to understand and not react to
00:25:52
what's going on. But I need to kind of get as much information
00:25:55
as I need to make informed choices, to make informed
00:25:58
decisions. So yeah, yeah, yeah,
00:26:02
Manon Bolliger: yeah, and it's funny because now you know I
00:26:06
know there's a lot of women in that I know of that are just
00:26:11
having babies, and you know, and when I was at that stage, if
00:26:17
somebody gave me should read about this or that, I would
00:26:20
always read it because I would feel like, well, yeah, you know,
00:26:25
I don't have to accept it. I can choose to go deeper in it if it
00:26:31
resonates. But I will, I will do everything I can as a mother to
00:26:36
make sure that I will will have said I've done everything I can,
00:26:42
including my instinct, everything you know, right?
00:26:46
Which is why your your story is so touching, you know. And the
00:26:51
nowadays it's like no, no, I don't want to read anything if
00:26:55
it's negative, or if it's now they've got people conspiracy
00:27:00
theorists, or oh, you believe in now. You have to belong to a
00:27:04
party to have. You know, it's like it's so sick.
00:27:10
Jennifer Tolo: The art of conversation seems to have
00:27:14
Manon Bolliger: vanished, gotten
00:27:15
Jennifer Tolo: lost. But I do believe that I am hopeful that
00:27:19
it will come back. I am hopeful that we can, because what I
00:27:23
think it is, honestly, I really believe that it's just this
00:27:30
state of overwhelm. If you think about survival mode, and so many
00:27:32
people are in survival mode right now. Survival mode is
00:27:35
fight, see, or freeze, and the freeze is avoid. Right? I don't
00:27:42
want to. I can't. I don't want to deal with it. So, or I'm just
00:27:46
gonna kind of get go along to get along. the The flight is
00:27:50
again the avoidance or the like. Nope, don't talk to me. I don't
00:27:54
want to look at this stuff because I don't want to know any
00:27:57
differently. And then the fight is the anger, and the attachment
00:28:01
and the blame and the all of that, and I feel like it is
00:28:04
survival mode. We have cultivated this culture of
00:28:09
automated survival mode, where people, when you're in survival
00:28:12
mode, you can't think properly. You don't have rational thought.
00:28:16
You are reactive. You are emotional. You are triggered.
00:28:20
Manon Bolliger: Yeah,
00:28:22
Jennifer Tolo: and it's not good for any of
00:28:25
Manon Bolliger: us. No,
00:28:25
Jennifer Tolo: you know.
00:28:26
Manon Bolliger: Yeah, I mean, there's a
00:28:27
Jennifer Tolo: yeah,
00:28:28
Manon Bolliger: yeah, and survival mode comes from being
00:28:31
attacked. One one thing, sure. Also, surviving and look at the
00:28:36
economy we're in. I mean, people can't afford to buy food. They
00:28:40
can't afford their mortgages. They can't afford the rents.
00:28:44
They can't like. I don't know where you live. I live in
00:28:46
Canada, and
00:28:47
Jennifer Tolo: I live in Massachusetts. So
00:28:48
Manon Bolliger: okay. Oh yeah. Oh, we have things to compare.
00:28:51
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh. Anyway. Yeah. Oh, special places. Um.
00:28:57
Anyway. Yeah. So like, but it's yeah. How can they do anything
00:29:02
else but just try and get rid of the world so that they just do
00:29:06
what they got to do? Because how can they raise their little kids
00:29:10
if they're busy reading things? You know, getting like your
00:29:15
Jennifer Tolo: greatest power is in your voice and in your
00:29:19
choices. That's where your superpower is, and when we don't
00:29:23
speak up, when we aren't informed, and we don't
00:29:26
challenge, and we don't speak up, and we're not making
00:29:29
informed choices, because the problem-it's not the problem
00:29:35
started somewhere, and the solutions are somewhere. And
00:29:38
when we just want to point fingers and blame, and we follow
00:29:42
the narrative that is being laid out for us, then we become part
00:29:47
of the problem instead of part of the solution.
00:29:49
Manon Bolliger: Absolutely, and I don't think those people are
00:29:54
there. They don't see that yet. I also
00:29:58
Jennifer Tolo: think it's it's hard to see it when you're.
00:30:01
Being fed a narrative when you're being fed, and you and
00:30:04
you don't. I was just saying to somebody, boy, I wish I was
00:30:07
saying this to my husband. I'm like, I really wish the
00:30:10
algorithms of social media instead of giving you more of
00:30:15
what you're looking at.
00:30:17
Manon Bolliger: Yeah, I would love
00:30:18
Jennifer Tolo: it if they could give you the opposite, like just
00:30:21
so you could see two different perspectives.
00:30:24
Manon Bolliger: I so agree with that. I
00:30:26
Jennifer Tolo: would love that. You know, now would people turn
00:30:30
it off, or would people just start getting used to that
00:30:32
instead of this information bias where you're just fed the same
00:30:37
information, you start to believe it to be true.
00:30:40
Manon Bolliger: Yeah.
00:30:40
Jennifer Tolo: Or and then when something comes in to counter
00:30:43
that belief or to challenge that belief, it throws you into a
00:30:48
spiral because
00:30:50
Manon Bolliger: yeah,
00:30:50
Jennifer Tolo: threatening your safety and security, right?
00:30:53
Manon Bolliger: But no, absolutely, and and I mean it's
00:30:55
funny because I have you know joined different things that I
00:30:59
know are opposing opposite points of view to try and create
00:31:03
the madness, you know.
00:31:05
Jennifer Tolo: Yes, me too.
00:31:06
Manon Bolliger: But where it doesn't work, I think, is in the
00:31:10
actual suppression of real medical information.
00:31:16
Jennifer Tolo: Agreed.
00:31:17
Manon Bolliger: You know, and that's where we we need to get
00:31:19
like the 1000s of studies that were made, you know that's.
00:31:25
Jennifer Tolo: But I will also say I'm going through this
00:31:27
actually currently with my husband. So my husband has
00:31:30
prostate cancer, and he had a prostatectomy, and he is
00:31:36
realized after the prostatectomy that his PSA, so his prostate
00:31:43
hormone was elevated, which means that he's still got the
00:31:46
cells in his body, so he's got metastases. And we have a good
00:31:49
friend of ours that's a functional doctor, and they're
00:31:51
not functional; they're functional, not even a medical
00:31:54
person, but a functional person, and they're into biohacking, and
00:31:58
they're into the latest this and that, and they're like, you need
00:32:00
to be on a ketogenic diet and reading all these books and
00:32:04
getting all this information about how starving the cancer
00:32:09
cells of any glucose is really how you stop the spread of
00:32:13
cancer and all this. And I'm listening and and I've read the
00:32:17
studies and I've I've looked at some of the studies, but there
00:32:19
are studies about this and there are studies about this, and
00:32:22
that's the point. Is like we are bio individuals, so some of that
00:32:25
information, yes, that worked on these people, but it doesn't
00:32:28
necessarily mean. So, in the midst of all this, we have to
00:32:32
merge science and intuition, because, and that's what I said
00:32:37
to my husband. Listen, tune into yourself, and does it feel like
00:32:42
like he's doing some crazy sardine fast right now? Three
00:32:46
days of of just eating sardines, one can of sardines a day, and
00:32:50
fasting to get into ketosis. And I was like, you're a busy
00:32:53
surgeon. When you're in ketosis, your body goes into this
00:32:57
ketogenic flu. You need to be sharp for the stuff that you're
00:33:01
doing, do you think this is the right thing for your lifestyle,
00:33:05
right? And and really doing a lot of like check in with
00:33:08
yourself. Don't just listen to what this person's telling you
00:33:11
because their their demands on their their life is different
00:33:15
than your life. Their their predispositions. My husband has
00:33:19
high cholesterol. My husband doesn't eat a lot of dairy,
00:33:22
doesn't he? You know, so I'm like, you have to look at your
00:33:25
lifestyle, your preferences, your biomarker, your own
00:33:29
biomarkers, your own genetic makeup, and decide intuitively:
00:33:33
is this the right thing for me? You can't just go. And there's
00:33:35
research to support pretty much anything you want to support out
00:33:39
there. And that's the thing is like sifting through all the
00:33:42
research because research is great, but it's not enough.
00:33:48
Manon Bolliger: No, no, I don't disagree with you. But you know
00:33:51
the what you're raising with your husband too. You could say,
00:33:54
well, the and I'm not supporting the sardine diet. I'm just
00:33:57
saying. I mean, okay, I
00:33:59
Jennifer Tolo: couldn't even eat one sardine alone, a can of
00:34:02
them.
00:34:03
Manon Bolliger: I I love sardines.
00:34:05
No, for me it's it's not the sardines. It's just the the
00:34:09
idea, you know. Because I I hear you say it, and then it's like,
00:34:13
you know, he can't do his job if he's you know if he's not
00:34:20
functioning well because of this diet, and then I'm thinking,
00:34:23
like, what a crazy society that a doctor can't take time off to
00:34:31
heal themselves a little bit, you know. Never mind the diet;
00:34:36
I'm not guessing one, but let's say he associated to that,
00:34:39
right? And you know there are. I'm sure there's the research to
00:34:43
show that that too works, right? But it's the it's the a little
00:34:49
bit of time for real self care, right? Which a lot of people in
00:34:55
health don't take, right?
00:34:57
Jennifer Tolo: He has backed off of. His schedule. He's cut down
00:35:01
on his schedule, but you know what it is. It's again, why do
00:35:04
we go into medicine? Why do we go into healthcare? Because we
00:35:06
want to help people. And so he's got. I mean, he's. I'm going to
00:35:10
toot his horn. He's an excellent surgeon. He's a great human
00:35:13
being, and he really connects people. People want to see him.
00:35:16
People wait for a long time to see him, and he doesn't want to
00:35:19
let anybody down. He did take he took a whole month off after his
00:35:23
surgery, and that was huge for him. And I remember talking to
00:35:27
him about okay, now we need to set some better boundaries at
00:35:30
work so you don't get overloaded. And he did in the
00:35:34
beginning, and then he was right back into that crazy schedule
00:35:36
again. And then this happens, and I'm a big believer that
00:35:41
things happen for a reason, and there's a message in everything,
00:35:44
and so there's something to this for him, right? And there's
00:35:49
something to that, yeah. The self care, and he is like he's
00:35:52
that's again again for him. His idea of self care is going out
00:35:55
for a run. He's a loves photography, so he's been
00:35:58
prioritizing. He keeps a camera in his car, and if he's driving
00:36:01
to work, we happen to live right by the ocean. And if he's
00:36:04
driving to work and he sees a sun, the sunrise like near where
00:36:09
the ocean is, and it calls to him, he'll take it a little
00:36:12
detour before he gets on the highway to take a picture. Just
00:36:16
that's like his, and that's something that we talked about,
00:36:19
and he started to incorporate into his life, that's self care
00:36:22
for him. But the boundaries and the setting boundaries, I think,
00:36:27
for so many people, especially high achieving people, high
00:36:30
functioning people, that's really hard. So he's working on
00:36:33
that. Yeah,
00:36:37
Manon Bolliger: yeah, yeah. So you know, we're over our time.
00:36:39
But if you still have time, I'm just going to make this two
00:36:43
episodes.
00:36:45
Jennifer Tolo: Oh, okay. Yep, I do. Yeah,
00:36:47
Manon Bolliger: because I feel like these are really important
00:36:49
subjects, and it's hard to start at the beginning with that. And
00:36:53
I feel like this is really, you know, so needed to have these
00:36:58
discussions out loud. You know.
00:37:00
Jennifer Tolo: Yes, absolutely. I've got about 1010, a little
00:37:03
bit over 10 minutes. Yeah, because I got a client. Sure,
00:37:05
that'll that'll be four or five. Yeah. Okay.
00:37:08
Manon Bolliger: Okay. So I was going to ask you. Yeah. So you
00:37:12
went through, you know, quite an experience. I mean, both of you
00:37:16
with your your children. When did you realize, or did you
00:37:25
experience it, knowing that you will understand why you've gone
00:37:29
through this eventually, or like that? You just there was the
00:37:34
faith that it was going to make sense at some point, or give you
00:37:39
some. How does that work for you?
00:37:43
Jennifer Tolo: Yeah, so I have always been a pretty positive
00:37:49
person. Always really tried to focus on the positive and what
00:37:53
can I control because I believe that that really does make an
00:37:56
impact in your life if you're open to possibilities. I. I got
00:38:04
with this awakening when my son had the stroke. I got really
00:38:09
connected to channeling and understanding messages, soul
00:38:14
messages, soul guidance, and that's a big thing that I do
00:38:17
now. Is I help people connect to what the subtle messages of the
00:38:22
mind, the body, and the spirit are, and the soul, I can channel
00:38:27
all that. But I hid that part of me for a while. But through all
00:38:33
of my own healing work to heal myself, because I I was in
00:38:38
stress overload. I was completely overwhelmed. I was
00:38:40
giving and giving and giving and giving and giving that my own
00:38:43
health started to suffer, and so it was through my own healing
00:38:50
that I realized I had to go through what I went through in
00:38:55
order to understand where the gaps in healthcare were, so I
00:38:59
can bridge those gaps. I am an experiential learner, so if
00:39:03
somebody told me something, I'd be like, "Yeah, okay, okay. But
00:39:07
I had to experience it for myself, and I feel like you
00:39:11
know, I I love I talk to my clients a lot because when we
00:39:15
learn these new tools and we we have these new awarenesses and
00:39:19
we have this kind of deeper connection, and we understand
00:39:24
what the limiting beliefs were and what the belief systems that
00:39:27
would hold us back. We understand what the hidden
00:39:30
stressors of our life are. We understand all that, which is a
00:39:33
big part of the work that I do with people. I feel like we're
00:39:37
on this like spiral staircase of life, and as we learn and we
00:39:44
experience something and we grow, we gain wisdom. And as we
00:39:48
gain wisdom, maybe we hit a challenge that was a similar
00:39:53
challenge or a big challenge, and it's like life's presenting
00:39:56
us with this mirror moment to say, "Okay, can you?" Practice
00:40:00
what you've learned. Can you put this experience into like
00:40:04
learning and and up level so you can go to the next level of this
00:40:08
spiral staircase, or are you going to get pulled back into
00:40:12
those old patterns and limiting beliefs? What you know? What are
00:40:16
you going to do? And if you get pulled back, it's like chutes
00:40:19
and ladders. You like slide down the ladder, right? And you go
00:40:22
back, and you like just lost a level. Where I feel like every
00:40:27
challenge is the my life, life, the universe's way of helping me
00:40:38
practice what I've learned and up level to use it, and I and so
00:40:45
I feel like what I went through with my kids helped me to
00:40:50
realize this intuition, these gifts that I have, this
00:40:55
connection that I have, you know, angelic messengers, the
00:41:01
soul, all of that-that's where my power is, and that's what
00:41:06
makes me really a great coach. Is that I'm able to help people,
00:41:12
women, connect with that. Had I not gone through what I went
00:41:16
through, I'd still be hiding that part of myself. I'd still
00:41:20
be suppressing that part of myself.
00:41:22
Manon Bolliger: Right, right.
00:41:24
Jennifer Tolo: So I feel like there is always a purpose to the
00:41:27
pain. There is always a message in the mess. And did I always
00:41:34
know that? I, I, I'm not gonna lie. I've had little pity
00:41:38
parties for myself, and like those moments of like, why is
00:41:41
this happening to me? But I don't allow myself to hang out
00:41:44
there.
00:41:45
Manon Bolliger: No, I
00:41:46
Jennifer Tolo: give myself a minute to feel what I'm feeling,
00:41:48
and then I go okay. But what is like? Let's take a step back. I
00:41:55
talk about making a brain break. That's a big part of what I do,
00:41:59
and my signature ABCs are a part of that, but the brain break is:
00:42:04
we need to beyond just the stress management of calming our
00:42:07
nervous system with breath. We then need to connect with what
00:42:11
are those thoughts that are spiraling in my mind, and we
00:42:14
have to interrupt those thoughts because that's our ego mind
00:42:17
that's trying to keep us safe. So, making a brain break is
00:42:21
taking a minute to just pause, notice the thoughts, don't
00:42:25
attach to them, step back from them, and go, okay. But what
00:42:28
else could be true here? What else could be going on here? And
00:42:32
then what is one thing that I can do that I am in control of?
00:42:38
That I what what is one choice that I can make in this moment
00:42:42
to get me where I'd like to be, or to move me through this, and
00:42:47
that's where you start to reclaim your power. But you have
00:42:50
to make that brain break instead of getting pulled into that
00:42:54
spiraling stories, thoughts, the what ifs, the the scenarios that
00:42:58
our ego mind likes to create for
00:43:01
Manon Bolliger: us, and
00:43:01
Jennifer Tolo: that's really what creates the stress. So
00:43:04
making that brain break is what can help us kind of step back
00:43:07
and reclaim our power over that.
00:43:10
Manon Bolliger: Just like stepping out of the movie, yeah,
00:43:14
Jennifer Tolo: exactly, exactly. Pump the brakes, and I like to
00:43:17
say, flip the script. Like if you don't like flip the script,
00:43:20
Manon Bolliger: I know. Well, I actively do that with my dreams,
00:43:24
so you you can do it with your life. You know. Yes,
00:43:26
Jennifer Tolo: absolutely, you can. So
00:43:28
Manon Bolliger: before you go, A B C. What is that?
00:43:32
Jennifer Tolo: So the A B C's are part of my pause method,
00:43:35
which is being present. You know, pausing, being present in
00:43:41
your life, and the A is awareness-being aware of what am
00:43:47
I feeling right now, what am I experiencing, what am I thinking
00:43:50
right now, what's going on, am I safe, am I, or am I not safe?
00:43:55
And then that's the awareness piece. And then the B is
00:43:58
balancing your nervous system through breath and mindset,
00:44:04
balancing both, taking a breather to reset your nervous
00:44:08
system, but then balance the thoughts that are create that
00:44:11
are going in your mind, right? The brain break, and then C is
00:44:15
connection. Connect to what it is that you need, what choices
00:44:20
you have, and what you're actually in control of in the
00:44:24
moment, and so that's where you can start to reclaim your power
00:44:29
of your life. When I was a nurse, you know, you learn ABCs
00:44:32
of life: airway, breathing, circulation, and that's how we,
00:44:36
you know. So I'm like, okay, this stress management, because
00:44:39
stress is the root of many people's illness and and
00:44:43
imbalance. I created the ABCs as another algorithm to just kind
00:44:50
of reconnect to ourselves and to the moment.
00:44:55
Manon Bolliger: Okay, well, that was very informative. And thanks
00:45:00
for hanging out a bit longer. And
00:45:03
Jennifer Tolo: pleasure.
00:45:03
Manon Bolliger: Yeah. And how? So how do people get hold of you
00:45:07
at this stage of the game?
00:45:09
Jennifer Tolo: Yes, you can go onto my website jenniferren w r
00:45:13
e n tolo t o l o.com, or you can check me out on Instagram at
00:45:19
jenrentolo or LinkedIn Jennifer dash Tolo dash R N, but I'd love
00:45:27
to connect with anybody. I have a I can send you too. I have a
00:45:33
it's called the Soulful Superwoman Playbook. I'm happy
00:45:37
to send you that if people want to grab that. It's kind of how
00:45:40
we shift from kind of that doing and showing up to really being
00:45:44
more discerning about what we show up for, what we engage
00:45:47
with, and what we give our time and attention to? So I can give
00:45:50
you that link if you'd like.
00:45:52
Manon Bolliger: Sure, that'd be great. Okay, great. Well, thanks
00:45:56
very much, and we'll be in touch with you.
00:45:59
Jennifer Tolo: All right, great. Thank you, Manon. Have a great
00:46:01
day.
00:46:04
Ending: Thank you for joining us at the Healers Cafe with Manon
00:46:07
Bolliger. Continue your healing journey by visiting
00:46:12
thehealerscafe.com and her website, and discover how to
00:46:17
listen to your body and reboot for optimal health.