EP 376: How to Start Charging What You’re Worth with Brittney Ashley

Debra, with her 30 years of being an entrepreneur and creating over seven companies, knows exactly what it means to accept the mission. When you make that decision, when you accept the mission to become a solopreneur, to take yourself and your talents to market, then you embrace a life of not only unlimited possibilities but also the unknown. It's an elixir of fear and bravery that only someone who's taken the leap really understands. On our show, Deb digs deep with her guests to highlight what you, the listener, wants to know: the stories, the whys, and the hows to navigate the journey to success. Get ready to hear from some of the most incredible mission takers, from Generation Z to Boomers, so sit up, perk up, and get ready to be blown away. Now, here is your host, Debra Drummond.

Welcome, welcome back, mission takers. And if this is the first time that you are listening, lucky you-you are going to feel so empowered after this episode, and I know if you've been here before, I tell you how you're going to feel, but you're going to figure out why because we have an incredible woman who's taken on the mission in many different ways, and she has such a variety. But when you listen to her talk on things like imposter syndrome and being your own CEO and how to recover from money trauma. And she talks about how she has achieved what she has with some of the things that might have held somebody else back. You're going to go wow, and you're going to feel empowered. So let me introduce you to Brittany Ashley. She is the founder of Creative Dynamics. We are so happy that you are sharing this stage with us today, Brittany. So welcome to Mission Accepted. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I was so excited for today. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Now look, I just kind of dropped some big titles for people. Like, wow, there's there's lots there. I know that you're really well known for speaking on stages, and I believe sometimes you actually even mix them together in terms of imposter syndrome and money trauma. Now, shares what I think: imposter syndrome is behind is kind of a word that's being used out there, same as regulating nervous system, and and it's really nice to be able to have maybe your understanding of it, or what is that? Because I think what happens is people have that experience of,

oh, I don't know if it should be me, or you know, I need to go do this, and who am I to do that? And they don't identify it as imposter syndrome; they identify it as confidence or lack of confidence, or they they put it in something another bucket, and they don't realize that that is exactly what they're experiencing. So, should we go in and tackle that one right away? Absolutely. And I like to just make it very plain and simple. What is imposter syndrome? In essence, it is that we are just feeling that we're not competent enough to achieve something, and so there could be negative self-talk. But really, in essence, is we maybe have done it, or we're scared, and we're holding ourselves back to really step into our full potential.

I like to talk. I like to bring in stats too, and the one stat that really stood out to me when I started diving in into imposter syndrome is, and imposter syndrome can show up as young as age six for kids. So I feel like okay. So if this is showing up at age six and we're getting older and older,

and we're not really actually even talking about it as young generations, I think we're kind of getting lost a little bit in the weeds, and then when we're getting into the career developments or changes, imposter syndrome really shows up in different ways for us. And then you mentioned trauma with money, and I love to talk about the trauma bits too with money because I think imposter syndrome and trauma can kind of overlap a little bit too.

Oh, I think they overlap quite a bit. I think they overlap quite a bit if you're talking about things like confidence, or not feeling like they belong, or not feeling that they deserve, or I'm sure that comes up a lot around imposture, right? Feeling like you are not that person, or worthy, or however you want to put those words, and I would imagine that trauma would over overlap that for sure. Absolutely, we. I'll just kind of highlight some of the characteristics on imposter syndromes. So there's the perfectionist. I'm a working perfectionist. I like to

say that I want to get the straight A's in school. I was always like, if I make a mistake, completely kind of like meltdown, like I can't.

Come from it, so there's like the perfectionist characteristics. So it's important to understand these different characteristics, and you can kind of fall in the different gaps. Especially as a mom, I am a mama too, so I also like to talk about the superhuman, super mama. That sometimes we like to be like everything. If we ask for help, that we feel like we're not confident to be a mom, or even in your career development as well, and how you're changing.

I'm also an expert. The expert characteristic is I feel like I have to have all these different degrees to be seen in a room. So it's I actually did my studying with Dr. Valerie Young. Please look her up. She's absolutely amazing. I still follow her. I got to learn alongside her two different course programs. I'm not too sure if she's teaching it with herself, but just go look her up because I find it quite fascinating what she's done so far this over her lifetime. To be honest, but I had to go to this course and figure out. Oh, I have so much imposter syndrome that no wonder I have to do 600 different degrees to feel like I feel like I'm competent enough in the room.

Another one is being like a stylist, so that you feel like you you have to do it all alone. So if you ask for help, you're not competent as well. So there's different mechanisms that show up for us. So it's really important to understand these different characteristics and the pillars that show up when we are running a business, or if you're in a nine to five, because sometimes those imposter syndrome thoughts will kind of will see that. And there's some great stats out there too that like 72% of executive women feel like they have imposter syndrome; they're not confident in their roles. So you just kind of have to understand, like usually the next person next to you or three people down from you probably have felt imposter syndrome thoughts sometime in your life, and that's why I love to say that everyone has a seat at the table, and it's important for us to not shame and to really dive in deep and understand where the imposter syndrome thoughts are maybe where the trauma and the money parts are coming from, so we can fully cultivate a place of safety and moving together as a

one. You know what? I think that statement alone, where you just shared that 72% So when you're on a networking group and you're on a Zoom,

and there's 20 of you there,

and you know the odds are one in three, one in four. I, I, I really, or even the ratio would be even higher at that with at 72% That just knowing that alleviates and allows people to breathe, and I think it also alleviates. It allows people to grow and see that imposter syndrome is a transition, not you know, not a tattoo. Frankly, I mean, you have tattoos. Tattoos. These are not tattoos. That these are transitionary phases, and that recognition or recognizing, like, ooh, I fall a little bit in this, and what are those pillars, and what is it that I can do to shift or recognize or acknowledge when I'm in it or out of it? Because I imagine, I know that I talk to a lot of people that go from that are in this. Let's go from one phase to another in their business. I always say that we go to the top, start at the bottom, go to the top, start at the bottom, right? And they're like, "What do you mean by that? I go, "Oh,

because you want to break that ceiling or break that financial piece, or I want to make you know six or multiple six. So whatever it is, when you get there, you kind of drop to the bottom again, and you are in different rooms, maybe having different conversations, writing different business plans, and then beginning, and it's going to Feel not

natural, absolutely. Well, just kind of if you go in a room and you see somebody that maybe has a really big title, and I I have like an ongoing joke of I'm like besties with like one of the mayors here. Like things are changing right now, but it's kind of like it's how you remove that mayor title or that that specific title of somebody in the room, and really just approach it to your authentic self. Either the like you or not like you, and just let them like that saying from Mel Robbins.

But I feel like really, if we tap into our authentic self, you're just going to start building that energy and cultivating that energy with the people that you're supposed to be in alignment with too.

Well,

that was that's powerful. The I don't want to rush over the money trauma conversation because, and I'm sure as soon as you said it, and as soon as I said it, there was people that leaned in. They're like,

"Tell me more, right? So let's tell them a little more about money trauma and and what does that look like and when does it show up and how can we how can we

surpass

so there's no shame to talk about money trauma and I think that's something that we as women need to kind of make sure that there's always that safe space to have.

Those open conversations, and the more we talk about it, I'm excited about it. Just like imposter syndrome, and I think it's really important for us to talk more about money trauma as well. So when I work with individuals and building their businesses, the one thing that I saw commonly was

some pieces on like I can't charge this because I'm not worthy, or I really need to send this bill. And I'm talking to for myself. Like I realize that I've experienced a lot of these things too, and I didn't know where it was coming from. And so, as a natural born coach, I decide to take this trauma with money course, and I realize that you need to go through it to get to the other side,

and really start to ask those curious questions of where these pieces of why I can't raise my prices, why can't I send this invoice, or why am I scared to look at Revenue Canada? Like by the way, I have. I just noticed too that I've been avoiding

opening my email from them because I was like, I don't want to talk to you today. And yeah, yeah, yeah. You need to emotionally prepare, right? Because we have a projection that they're not calling to wish us happy Christmas or happy birthday or you know whatever it is, right? So there's there's angst around because there's you know they have a reputation.

Yes, unfortunately. So it's like where's the nervous system feeling a bit? Like it's kind of are you in the fawn state?

You're avoiding. Like I know I'm avoiders. Am I in a fight or like what kind of? Where's your nervous system when you see this state of rising prices or just anything that has to do with money? It could be in your personal or your business. What is your state of your nervous system? And I challenge you just to get a little bit more curious and ask more questions. For another example, I love talking about myself, like in that kind of way. But to give an example, so people can see, like you're not alone in feeling it. Because even though I'm talking about it, doesn't mean I've mastered all these things. But I'm working at it. So like imposter syndrome, I've learned how to quiet the noise, but it still shows up daily. And then with money trauma, I realize like I really don't like doing my expenses for the houses to send for corporate tax all at the last minute. And my husband is like, "Girl, we've been through this so many times. We're going to do this on a three month basis. And I always leave it at the year end, like right at the year end last week, also ADHD style.

But in it's really about like how we talk about it. So money trauma can show up differently. And I challenge anyone listening if this resonates to you is to really think about where the

money

where it really hit you hard, and for me, that's with my parents of divorce. So when I took the money course, I realized I thought I was just going to go in there and be done, kind of situation. But I cried in every single session of the course because I realized that there's so much deep-rooted pain there. So how do I acknowledge the pain and go through it, and and I also say if you really have deeper pain, that's where therapists, counselors really can come in to help shift those areas as well.

But it's really also important for you as an individual to start asking curious questions. So write down your money story. What first comes up for you, and this is one of the first challenges I did myself, and I realize a lot of it came from my parents' divorce. So it's like, oh, and then you start unpacking the onion, the layers. Where else did it come from?

Wow, that's powerful. It's first of all, it's powerful, and thank you. Your your transparency makes it so much easier for people to listen. It really does because when you say not only do they not feel alone, I think it is an awareness that again it's a growth, not an open the door and close the door. So as you talk about removing the layers, but even taking the time to find out where the source is, that's an empowerment state. I said people are going to be empowered. That's a very powerful state. It's like taking back the,

you know, whether it's avoiding it forever. It shows up. I'm sure there's different personality styles, and whether it shows up there, at least you can trace it back. And I think when you can trace it back, it stops the there's this there's something wrong with me story. Exactly. When you can trace it back, you're like, oh, well, you know, the the divorce, or when my dad lost his job, or when my dad's then lost his job, or when my wife lost her job, or when you know this situation happened in our family that put us into dire. We didn't expect this, or the economy, or you know the world health issue that happened that really changed things for people. Some for some people benefited from economics on that, and some people really didn't. Like it allows us to be able to understand and not keep taking it back to us. Like there's something wrong with me. There's something wrong with me, right? And no one traumas.

To be the same for somebody else, so perhaps there's somebody else who had their parents' divorce and they don't have the same trauma experience as I did. So it's important to understand that if you hear somebody say that this was my trauma experience, and then and then they reflect back like, "Well, I didn't experience that, so why is that trauma for you? It's really important to kind of kind of put on a different lens of like, just like, oh, I'm sorry that you've been through that, and be a little bit more compassionate because it doesn't matter what kind of trauma because it also looks at your nervous state too, of how nervous system reacts.

Everyone's different and unique. Yeah, everyone's different, and I think even it's interesting because when you say things like, and I'm sure there's people that weren't

like they close a deal or they sign a contract and they don't send the invoice till the next day,

yes, or and when really it would have been applicable to send it in that moment or send that information, or it could even happen in someone

I notice because I'm a big, I'm a big advocate and created a book around helping people. What I call proper calling, because some people will follow up, and I'm and I ask them, are you not following up because it doesn't sound like fun, or is that a form of sabotage?

Yeah, because you're blocking that money, you're blocking that conversation, right? Yeah, and I think it's what you are bringing to light is having the resources to be able to have conversations with people around making that decision or deciphering what's going on for that person. Absolutely, and money trauma can come up in different ways, like generational trauma. So I like to use as like the chef analogy. A lot of people seem to kind of understand that. So you have a great grandma that has like such a great recipe, and they pass it down generation to generation, and you realize that they are missing this one ingredient that seems to be common in something else. It's like cottage cheese, whichever, and you just assume it's the worst thing ever to make it horrible ingredient, but you actually realize it's because your great great grandma just didn't like it, so didn't add it. So it's just kind of like the unspoken rule or the unspokenness of it. And then we, as women

in society, like there's so much. Like I know when I was as a project manager and I wanted to raise like it was just it felt like you could never even get there sometimes and climb the ladder because yeah so it's just there's different levels to look at

it. Wow,

let's go into a little bit about this whole because I think it leans in when you talk about like how can we step into being the CEO of our lives, our CEO of our businesses,

because I believe what you're talking about in terms of, you know, when I think of imposter syndrome, I think a lot about the healing part is about owning, you know, owning our well, like our our greatness and what that is, and then exploring whether there's some trauma that is holding us back, and then I think it plays into stepping into our businesses or our lives as our own CEO. Do you want to touch a little bit on that?

Yeah, I've seen so

so many entrepreneur CEOs wanting to tap in to their greatness, but they end up giving a lot of Negative self-talk. Of, for one example, there was somebody that I met, and they're like, "Oh,

I I'm so like I love seeing you talk. Like I could never be there. I could never be on that stage. And I'm like, "Oh, who said that? Like, let's get curious. I'm like, who said that you can't be on that stage because everyone should be able to be on that stage, so it's like listening to the negative self talk. Or I've heard

that's like imposter syndrome, limiting beliefs. I've also heard some people, the perfectionist, sometimes roll into it a little bit, right? Where, well, I want to grow a team, but I don't think I'm going to be a good enough leader. Or like, there's another one that I've heard of

is I don't think I can manage, but then that's where you kind of need to do the deep dive of oh maybe I need an operation manager. I just need to find that person that I know that I can do my business development and step more into that CEO and let somebody else support me organically over here as well. So it's just really thinking and tapping into. I like to do it like the CEO off method of like, what are things are you holding on to? I know you and I have talked about these things before, Deb. What are you holding off onto? What we can automate? What we can systemize? And then what we can hand off to a team member? And then that like helps you kind of shift a little bit more into the CEO world. Sometimes we get stuck, especially if you're used to the nine to five job. We have like an employee

mindset, and it's like how we change those mindsets to step more into the CEO role.

Why do you think it is? Because you talk to learn a lot as well. Why?

Do you think it is that women have such a hard time, or people? I mean, our audience is both men and women, and I think that they both have a difficult time with this next question. I'm going to ask you for different reasons. What is it about the person that has such a hard time bringing someone in to alleviate the pressures that are going on in their business. Why is it that people wait to the bitter end, where they're tired, or they're exhausted, or they're resourceless, or they're like, what is it about that? I, yeah, I'm gonna leave that to you to answer from what you see your perspective. I've seen such a range too, where like again, going back to the perfectionist thinking that you need to do it all, or like the superhuman, right? Like you feel like to do it all, and if you ask for help, you're going to feel like you failed. I know that's exactly for me. Like I feel like if I, I need to build this business by myself because if I ask for help, well, I'm supposed to be like doing consulting and all these things as well. If I ask for help, it's kind of like, oh well, I can't do it. So it's just switching your mind frame into something a little bit more positive. Of yes, I can find. And sometimes it's sometimes you've had a bad experience too. Like I'll throw it out there. Sometimes you end up having such a bad experience of outsourcing, and you're like, never doing that again. Right, right, right, right. Pack a few steps, but it's important for you as the CEOs to ask those little questions. And sometimes, like

we'll do little sprints as well. So maybe we'll just do the business audit. You get a sense of working with us and what that looks like, and then you either walk away with it or we come back in and we take like one extra piece off your plate again, so it's like it's a slow process, but it's a great process.

No, it's good because

the, I think like you said when you were talking about the different personality types, the you know the cape and the soloist and the, you know, I'm sure that there's more that that shows up even in in areas where

that decision brings more greatness, right?

And it just hold on. Yeah, absolutely. I was just going to say, I I don't think social media helps us sometimes either because

it looks like all these great CEOs are doing it themselves, yeah. And sometimes they don't actually shed light on the true behind the scenes. And I've been approached when I'm out and about in networking groups, being like, "Oh, you're killing it! You're doing this, this, this! And like, I'm just surviving with two young kids and trying to build a business with a team and all the things in between, yeah, and all the things in between, yeah.

That that's okay. That's a good name for a podcast or something. All the things in between, right? Hashtag all the things in between. Yeah, using that aspect.

Let's talk about your definition of achievement, right? Because you're in business, you help people in business. That's what we're doing. And

people,

do they give themselves credit for when they've actually achieved? Is that a difficult piece?

You talked about social media being, you know, asset deficit. I think we can all agree upon that. People looking at other people's achievements, comparables. What's your what's your thoughts on achievement?

I think in what I've seen in personal experience, sometimes we're our own worst critics and our hardest client.

Oh, I love that. That stop for a minute. That's not for a minute. We are our hardest client. So, and write that down. That yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure right now, Carvel's got that in the show notes, right? We are our. What did you say? Our hardest clients. Oh, that's so good, Brittany. That's so good. Okay, go ahead. Keep talking. I know. Like I get so many

notes from friends, families, or just people I've met of like, wow, you're achieving so much, and I'm like, in my mind, I'm not achieving enough. And maybe that's the perfectionist me, right? Or maybe that's a little bit of the expert me, of always constantly doing. Like I even said to my husband, I was like, oh, maybe this summer I should take leadership and change management. He's like, why? I

like if you don't see me sometimes in sprints of time. It's probably because I'm doing a course,

but I love it. I'm a lifelong learner, actual student. Yeah,

the lifelong learner, and I also I love it because I feel like those are like also personal development pieces for myself. They're doing counseling and therapy, I just go rolling on it to courses.

Well, you know what I say. I say that entrepreneurship is

a personal development decision with a service or a product. Because if you're going in and you're building business, you will inevitably come up to yourself, which is why.

Coaches and teachers and mentors are absolutely critical elements to success. I really truly believe that. Wow.

Okay, I'm going to ask you as we come to you know a bit of wrapping up. Is there anything around anything that you've just shared that you want to recap or that you want to add to the conversation? Then I have a I have a question for you.

Overall, just like a recap, is that

I like to say everyone has a seat at the table. I know I mentioned that earlier, but I truly believe that everyone has a seat at the table, and I truly believe that we, as small business owners, business owners can cultivate a space to collaborate and move forward together to bring us all up to where we all want to be. I don't truly believe in competition.

I know when I did in my marketing course a long time ago, we had to do a competent competition analysis, and I told teacher, "What if I don't do this? And she wanted to give me an F, and

You're like okay,

but I think it comes down to my true roots of indigenous culture of how we cultivate and really collaborate and lift each other up.

And so I really think moving forward, anyone listening is just try to

surround yourself with the people that bring you up, and then bring everybody else up too, and give yourself grace.

I love that. Give yourself some grace. Give yourself some grace. Okay.

So the question that I want to ask you

What was one of the coolest, like absolute coolest surprise that you've experienced by being an entrepreneur,

coolest surprises. Coolest surprise! My goodness, it can be in the pursuit of it. It could be as a result of it. Yeah, it could be in your personal life. It could just be something that you are somewhere and you met somebody. Like one of the coolest, like

yeah,

that's cool. I think overall, just looking at like my whole journey and how,

when I first stepped into this, I didn't realize how far one I could go, and two, of how much of personal development entrepreneurship would actually change me for the better. So that to me is the coolest. But then also that I'm able to step in and be a mom too, so I feel like the combination of the two. Yeah, being a cool, a cool entrepreneurial mama. Yeah. Last question, because you are a mom and you are running a business. So give us an entrepreneurial parent tip or trick, or how do you how do you make it how do you make it all work? We all get asked that question, but you do this with that, and then I've got something for the audience. Like I said, I'm a high achiever, and I realize with two kids, sometimes you can't achieve everything in a day. And so, like this is, I have my radio show that you've been on, Deb, and I, I love to always bring this to my listeners: is just to remind yourself to give yourself grace. So if the kids are sick, or you have a doctor's appointment, or anything like that, just remind yourself that peace can be moved to another day, and just give yourself grace because sometimes we can't achieve everything all in one day. Ooh, that's a good one. Tell the audience about the name of your radio show, so they can go check you out. Yeah, it's called Breaking Arms, Building Dreams.

And

anyone listening, come listen to Deb and I.

Yeah, we had a great conversation. Okay, look at audience. I told you you were going to feel empowered, and I'm sure you do. There was a lot of what you know we call in media mic drops and aha moments and and things that you that is worth to go and explore. So you've been educated, you've been empowered today. So if something really kind of hits you, dig dig in, give Brittany a call and have that conversation, and look at if you have a message. If you want to be speaking where Brittany is, then reach out to us. So don't you know if you if you have some imposter syndrome going on and you know you just reach out to us. It's really easy, you guys. It's Deb Drummond, right? That's the website. Deb at Dev Drummond. You reach out to us, and we're gonna get you on the show. If you like to, you know, if you have something to share and you want to put it in Pages, you know, if you want to come into one of our collaborative books or put a quote, or anything that we do from print, because that's how you want to share your voice. That's how you want to make your impact. Let's go print, and and then if you want to hit the stage, goodness knows we have lots of cool stages and lots of cool things. And you and you can speak for a minute and a half, or you can rock the stage with a full presentation. So we've got something for everybody for you to help stand up, speak up, and show up, we appreciate you, Brittany, so much. Highlighting some things that might hold people back and not step into their full CEO potential. And audience, as always, we adore you. We appreciate you. Thank you so much. We're heading to our 400th episode, and we're so grateful. And so, for you, I want you to. I know you're all going to say.

You're all gonna see it because you know I don't want you to be well, and I want you to stay groovy. And we will see you here next week. Bye for now. Yeah.