Why You Still Feel Disconnected in Love and the Truth About Intimacy No One Taught You with Joanna Shakti

[00:00:02] What if you let love, not fear, lead your life and your leadership? I'm Carolyn Cooper and I've learned that true leadership isn't about perfection. It's about daring to be vulnerable, holding your vision in the darkness and trusting your soul to guide you home.

[00:00:28] Welcome to the Love Inspired Leadership Podcast, a sacred space where every moment invites you to aim higher with love and purpose. Here, we don't just talk about leadership, we redefine it. Let's dive in.

[00:00:54] Welcome back to the Love Inspired Leadership Podcast. Both my guests and I are exceedingly grateful that you made the decision to be here. And our intention is to bring you those elements of understanding what love-inspired leadership is for you, both personally and professionally,

[00:01:19] and understand what it is to live a life of embodied intimacy and cultivate that conscious connection through the eyes of both masculine and feminine. I'm so excited about this podcast. I want to tell you, this is a conversation that I've been waiting for. And Joanna, I'm so excited to go here. I know that I'm going to be inspired.

[00:01:49] I know that I'm going to learn things that will support me to have more of an embodied intimacy in my life. So, thank you for saying yes. I just have to say. Absolutely. So, let me introduce you to Joanna because she's very cool. So, Joanna Shakti is the founder of Ecstatic Intimacy,

[00:02:12] a smart, soulful, and a little bit spicy guide to the realms of love, intimacy, and conscious relating. Joanna's actually weaved this masculine and feminine dynamics together into leadership, spiritual awakening, engineering, and even tantra. That's where I want to go.

[00:02:40] As she leads singles and couples along the path of love. So, they can experience the deepest connections and come back home to pleasure and intimacy and be in that lane of joy and infinite abundance and availability on this incredible human journey that we are honored to live as a love-inspired leader within our own lives.

[00:03:08] And so, if you are a conscious single person or in a relationship as a couple longing for that authentic, meaningful, heart-centered connection and deeper polarity and intimacy that feels both sacred

[00:03:33] and present and present and real, this is the episode for you and me. Well, a new doorway, and we're going to talk about some incredible keys to really tap into that possibility to navigate through where we are right now into what Joanna calls embodied intimacy. This interview is for me. I'm telling you straight, Joanna. It is.

[00:04:04] I already know it. So, let's go back. And what I want to know is inspiration in life is everything. My business is called The Inspired Connection. So, that's everything in life to me. And I know this calling, this living legacy that you're living. You know, there's something that drew you to this. So, what is it that actually supported you and called you and drew you to this understanding

[00:04:33] of this path of male feminine dynamics, ecstatic intimacy and conscious love? Oh, you know, it's funny. It definitely called me. And it called me because I didn't understand how any of it worked. I grew up in the heart of the 70s, divorced family, lots of dynamics. I had no self-love.

[00:05:02] And then I developed a lot of judgments around men and relationships through watching my own family dynamics. It propelled me to get an electrical engineering degree and an MBA. And I ended up, yes, I worked in the oil and gas industry in Houston, Texas in the 90s. Oh, my goodness. Traditional good old boy network. Okay. My mouth's high and open right now from that to this. Are you kidding me?

[00:05:32] Stop the bus for a minute. Holy moly. I love it. Yes. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Keep going. I love this story. Could this be a book? I think so. Do you have a book? I am actually in the process of writing three books right now. Good. Yeah. Okay. Keep going. But yeah, so it was and really I ended up in that because I fell in love and I made his career more important than mine. So that's how I got to Houston.

[00:06:02] But I ended up climbing the high tech and oil and gas corporate ladder and promoted and successful and one day in 2001. I found myself at an event that spoke about the masculine feminine dynamic. And I felt like I sat with my jaw on the floor for eight hours going, this explains my entire life. Why I'm now divorced from the guy. Why I'm successful. Why I'm promoted.

[00:06:31] Why I'm exhausted. Why I'm resentful. Why I can't have an orgasm. Why I'm so upset. Everything was wrapped up in my understatedly tied to my relationship with myself and that lack of self-love, the lack of self-honor, the lack of self-respect. And it cost me a lot. And when I had that wake-up call, I literally knew that day. Within 12 hours. Maybe it was overnight, but within 12 hours, I knew I would leave corporate.

[00:06:59] And I knew that my work was to serve women so they didn't go through the pain that I went through. To serve men so they didn't go through the pain that I put men through. And all expressions, because we all have masculine and feminine energy and we all want to be loved. So that was... Are you kidding? This is so beautiful. And I love the polar opposite dynamics of all of it.

[00:07:27] And I love that you listened to that internal voice of wisdom that spoke to you. And you heard it. I had no choice, Carolyn. It was so strong. There was no choice in it. But I said yes. I did say yes. You did. And you said yes. You know, I call that... My audience knows that I call that the hard right, right? So you're leaning to the left. Oh my goodness.

[00:07:56] What am I doing? I'm leaning into the curve. It's very uncomfortable. But I know I'm going to go on a whole new trajectory of my life, of the meaning within my life. I know I'm going to find it. I don't know what that is exactly at this moment. But what happened at that event that I think is so meaningful and beautiful is I want the audience to realize there'll be moments in time that you'll know. You'll just know.

[00:08:24] And you'll know that that's truth. And you know that message is for you. And that's what you did. That is a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful thing that you did. And what I love about it is that you honored yourself and you realized this functioning machine mode woman that you were didn't have to be.

[00:08:50] And so you got all these clues and evidence because you listed them off. I love everything you listed there. And so the audience, I want you to just reflect for a minute. But think about what Joanna said. Does any of them speak to you? Does any of them, if you look at your life and reflect on some of those comments, is that you? And know that this podcast is going to give you some answers.

[00:09:19] So this defining story is very similar to mine. I'm not going into my story today. But I want to honor you in your courage, your commitment to honor and love yourself on this journey. Because I know it wasn't easy. And I know that there were incredible gifts along the way.

[00:09:43] And it really anchors in that truth and belief system about intimacy. So can we go to the next piece, which is how did you figure out this embodied intimacy and polarity? I mean, it fascinates me because I feel like I was in a man's world corporate making bucket

[00:10:13] loads of money and was very strategic, very successful. But I was functioning as a machine. I felt like I was actually a man in a woman's body. And I was yearning for that female energy. I mean, I yearned for women. I was around all men for decades. I'm like, I'm going to create a woman's group or something here. I'm losing myself. Who is she? So I did that. And my journey is the masculine and feminine. So this embodying intimacy and polarity, can we go there?

[00:10:43] Yeah, absolutely. And I was a woman. It felt like I was truly masculine. I believed I was masculine. And the interesting part is I had no idea that was actually a woman buried underneath. Like you wanted to connect with women. I don't want to have anything to do with women. I had judgments of women. I was that far into the masculine. I idolized the masculine and I tried to outman the men.

[00:11:09] And so it took me a while to actually appreciate women. And the truth is we get to love through our femininity. We get to love through our open hearts. And men have feminine energy, masculine beings, because not all men are masculine and not all women are feminine. That's common, but it's not absolute. There's a much deeper conversation. And it's about authenticity.

[00:11:37] But the pathway to love is vulnerability. It is openness. It is surrender. And those are the qualities of the feminine in all of us. And that's where intimacy comes in. It starts with the relationship with self. I can't actually be intimate with another until I'm intimate with myself. So into me, I see.

[00:12:06] I know my needs, my wants, my desires. Pause. Pause. Pause. Okay. Yes. Into me, I see. So I want the audience to repeat that out loud to themselves. Into me, I see. Two more times. Into me, I see. Into me, I see. And I do see. And my phrase is go within to win.

[00:12:36] Because, listen up, that's the truth. That's like a bomb that just went off. That's so powerful. Joanna. Okay. Keep going. Keep going. Sorry. Okay. So in that, we've got to know the good, the bad, the ugly, our yeses, our nos, our boundaries. Because until we're willing to be seen in our flaws, in our vulnerabilities, in our weaknesses, we will never trust love.

[00:13:04] We will never actually be able to receive it. Okay. I got to dive in here for a sec. Because I've been searching for love my whole life. That's why I'm so passionate about this. I was in an incubator for a month and a half, 67 years ago, and not touched. I think it started then. I thought it was outside of myself for a long time, like you.

[00:13:31] And it's only when I made this clear and final decision to go within to win and be curious and open-minded. So what's in the way of love? What does love even represent? And now, the journey through that is my business. It's the inspired connection. It's this podcast. Yes. And, you know, love is the only decision in life.

[00:13:59] To me, I look at everything else as a distraction. And I have a framework called above the line and below the line. Okay. And above the line is allowing love to lead in motion. To be curious, to be open-minded, to be vulnerable, to be sad, to share your truth, even when it feels uncomfortable. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

[00:14:25] When I show up with all my foibles, my quirkiness, my amazing energy and vitality for life that I used to hide when I show up that way, is now I just flow through life. It happens naturally. And I've given myself permission to be me. So that's what love is, isn't it? Yes. Yes.

[00:14:53] That's the self-love aspect, I would say. And it's love, but that starts with the self-love. And what I call that, Carolyn, you just described it so beautifully. I call it ecstatic authenticity. Yum. Delicious. That's chocolate ganache dessert. Say that again. Ecstatic authenticity. Oh, my goodness. Okay, hold on. I've only got a felt pen here, but drop the mic. Like, that's a drop the mic. Oh, my goodness. Because everything to me is about authenticity.

[00:15:23] My business is about authentic identity. It's allowing our old identity to just simply die and come back home to who we are. And that's why love is so important. Oh, my goodness. I'm so blessed this moment. Thank you, God. I mean, honestly, Joanna, so thank you for who you are, for what you stand for, for what you contribute. There's so many relationships, so many people that don't understand this, that are living a life.

[00:15:52] You know, there's women in their 60s that have given up this concept of pleasure. I had a great interview yesterday about this, too. So, this must be the theme. And, you know, to come back home to who we are, to give ourselves permission to surrender to that physical presence, that emotional presence, that mindset, and be honest with how I'm going to cry because it's the truth. Just to be honest in the relationships you have, have radical honesty.

[00:16:22] So, tell me about this masculine and feminine energy in love and in the bedroom. Yeah. Okay. So, I'm going to go, I'm going to take ecstatic authenticity, which is the relationship with self. Yes. And there's a masculine-feminine relationship within ourselves. What is true for ourselves? I was blind to mine. I had to discover what was true about those energies within me. Yes.

[00:16:51] That leads to, there's three parts to this journey. The ecstatic authenticity leads to the ecstatic intimacy, which is the masculine and feminine dance between us. It is the heart-to-heart, body-to-body, soul-to-soul dance that evolves each other's souls. That's part two. Okay. Hold on. Pause. I know that we don't have much time left.

[00:17:22] I just want the audience to just take a breath. And I want you to repeat that last sentence because I want it to land. So, can you say it? I'm always in the flow, but we'll see if I can get close. Well, no, it's the second phase. It's when... The second phase. That's what I thought you... Yeah. So, the couple sentences. It is ecstatic authenticity. It is the dance of the masculine-feminine between us.

[00:17:47] It is the dance of heart-to-heart, body-to-body, soul-to-soul, evolving each other's souls. So beautiful. Thank you. Yeah. Is there a third? There is a third. So, if the first one was into me, I see. Yes. The second one is into me, you see.

[00:18:13] The third one is ecstatic ecstasy. Life, love, and lovemaking that take your breath away time and time and time again. My breath is already taking away right now. Oh, I swear to God. This is so beautiful. It just makes my heart open so wide. You know, honestly, audience, listen up.

[00:18:40] This is it right now, right here. This is love-inspired leadership in our relationships with ourself, with our partners, with our beautiful families that we love and that matter most. This is embodied connection. This is consciousness. This is so powerful, and I feel so blessed right now to just feel what I'm thinking.

[00:19:05] So, I just want to invite the audience to connect with Joanna. If there's something inside you that sparked, something inside you that you knew that what she said was the truth, I want you to reach out to her. Your message is a gift to love in relationships across the globe, Joanna.

[00:19:33] And your mission is so driven by truth, alignment, purpose, passion, and authenticity. And I'm so glad you said yes to be here. And I want you to come back, would you? Because we're not finished this kind of a... I would love you, Caroline. We're not, yeah. I want to make her. And I also want to feel like I do right now once again. I just got to be honest.

[00:20:01] So, what's your gift for my audience? How can they connect with you? Yeah, two things. So, go to the ecstaticintimacy.com website. And you'll put it in the show notes, I'm sure, because it's not always easy to spell. So, you know, click it. And then also to have a link to the Ecstatic Intimacy Jumpstart Kit. There's a singles version. There's a couples version. Each one's got four parts to it.

[00:20:30] But it really takes you on this path of soul love. It looks at the masculine dynamic, the feminine dynamic, and how it impacts us as singles seeking our partnerships, our soulmates, and as couples when we're in that so that our connection can be as exquisite as possible. Yes, yes, yes. I say yes. I say yes. I'm all the way.

[00:20:56] Oh, and for the audience, as you know, if you've been here before, receive my gift of love-inspired leadership with my 21-day sacred above-the-line living to live your life with that sense of purpose, passion, peace, and infinite abundance as a love-inspired leader. And thank you, Joanna. Holy moly. I'm taking this with me. Blandon, I'm taking it.

[00:21:25] So, I want to thank you. I want to thank the audience for tracking with us today. And please watch this again because this will give you those gifts of love-inspired leadership. So, blessings to my audience. We will see you next time on the next episode of Love-Inspired Leadership. Thank you for being here. Thank you for joining me on the Love-Inspired Leadership Podcast.

[00:21:54] Remember, love isn't just a feeling. It's the most magnetic, prosperous force in the universe. When you lead with love, you unlock abundance, fulfillment, and a living legacy that truly matters.

[00:22:16] If today's episode stirred something in your soul, share it with someone who's ready to aim higher.

[00:22:51] Love-Inspired Leadership Podcast. Until next time, I'm Carolyn Cooper. Keep letting love lead your life forward.