The Life That Looks Good But Doesn’t Feel Right: How to Find Your Way Back to You

Welcome back to the Love Inspired Leadership Podcast. This is the place that we really speak truth, and our intention here, my guests as well as myself, is to bring you, you know, decades of wisdom, experience, understanding to make a meaningful difference in your life, so you can receive insights, tools, and strategies to align yourself as a love-inspired leader in your own life, and be able to shine that loving light on those people that matter most to you: your family, your friendships, your business, the communities that you serve, so thank you for being here. Both Rosemary and I appreciate you being here. So today's theme is when your soul says there's more, designing the life you were meant to live. Oh, I just love it. So let me introduce you to Rosemary first before we start our conversation. Rosemary, Rose, is it Blaum or Bloom?

Rosemary Rose Blaum: Blaum

Blaum. I said it right the first time. Beautiful.

Rosemary Rose Blaum: Bloom sounds good. Rose in bloom, right?

Yeah, Rose and Gloom. Well, my my daughter's middle name is Rosa, so I'm very, very attached to that.

Rosemary Rose Blaum: Yeah.

So Rose is the inside-out coach who helps women who sense there's there's more to life to reconnect with their inner GPS and step into a purpose-driven next chapter of their life. So that's whatever chapter is next for you on this life, love, leadership, and with decades of experience walking alongside entrepreneurs and professionals. She has a master's degree in leadership and training in brain health coaching, which I'm really excited to hear about. So, Rose guides women to design lives aligned with who they truly are, and live their lives fulfilled with clarity, authenticity, purpose, and of course, love. So, if you're a woman who feels that quiet nudge, that there must be more here. There must be more here, and that you're called to a purposeful living that really is here for you to experience right now. This episode will open a new doorway and supply you with a few keys and insights, tools, and strategies to help you to listen to when your soul says there is more, and also to hear it, to hear those internal voice messages of wisdom that are waiting to be heard, that are calling you forward to your authentic self, because it's been waiting for you, right? Right. I know. So, thank you for being on my podcast. I'm so excited about this conversation, and the reason being is because it's hearing those whispers from within to really connect with first, isn't it? So, what I'm curious about. My business is all about inspiration. My business is called the Inspired Connection. And so, what is it that led you to this inside-out work in supporting and and guiding, you know, these incredible women around the globe to design their lives with how they're truly meant to live to be who they are. So, what was it that led you here?

Rosemary Rose Blaum: I was one of those women that thought that because I have a degree in something, that's what I was intended to do the entire life, and my my background is interior design, so in construction, architectural design. So I was out designing, but it was great. It was a great life, but I knew there was more. And inside, I wasn't. I didn't feel fulfilled. I felt like there there had to be more for me, and I didn't realize until years later that that more was seeing other women and helping them achieve. A life that they can step into and say, "This is where I'm supposed to be. Yes, this is where I can really bloom, and not just what someone else says I should be, or what I feel that maybe I'm afraid to step into. Yes, you know it took me so many years, so many years to stay in that YouTube.

Oh my goodness! It's everything. It's why I focus on women only because I lived accomplishing. I just got the next lots of financial abundance, lots of leadership, lots of growth, lots of organization, lot lots of everything. I lost myself. I lost who I was as a woman. That's right, my own identity. And yeah, listen, this is my mission in life. Rosemary is to support women, and you have the same one, which is absolutely beautiful because we absolutely know that there is more we do inside our souls. If you slow down enough, if you create that space for grace, I guarantee, audience, you know, you know, you even know right now, and those whispers that are soft and gentle will get louder when you bow that space for grace, for that voice to be heard, and for you to ask those important questions of yourself. So, what matters most? So, I know this is part of what your journey is to make a difference in the world. So, how do women reconnect with their inner GPS,

Rosemary Rose Blaum: right? Well, you know, Carolyn, you hit the nail on the head when you said, "If we slow down enough to listen, and we go 90 miles an hour, and we go from thing to thing to thing to thing to doing dinner and to doing this and to being there and oh my friend says oh can you meet me for lunch while you feel like you shouldn't because you don't have time but if you don't well you what kind of friend are you and so you go through this guilt thing of having to always give but forgetting to slow down and listen, listen to that inner voice. You know, God gave us when we were born 500 million brain cells in our gut, neurons that babies are born with. I never knew that until when I started studying about it, and I thought, okay. Some people have it. Some people say, "Well, how do you know? Well, I don't know. I just know. But I didn't know that we're all bored with those. Now we need to to take the time to hear them because they're there. And if we don't, oh my gosh, our life is just we're just we're just surviving. We're just going through the motions. We're just you know we we have a good life, but yet how much better it can be when we really step into who you who you were made to be and what gives you joy and how do you know how to listen to that? It takes It takes that time that Carolyn mentioned a minute ago. Give yourself time and give yourself now what I did impermanent.

So I should have granted I was a functioning machine. I was, you know, and I I knew I was losing myself, but I didn't know what to do. I felt lost, and so for the audience who is there, I was where Rosemary was. Yeah, I want to let you know there is a way through, and it can be the smallest of steps. It can be taking a pause. It can be saying no to that lunch that you mentioned, it can be sitting in a park by yourself and just taking that half hour, that hour. Who is Carolyn? What what matters most to her? What what is meaningful? And it's a journey. It doesn't happen overnight. This GPS system that you talk about is a gradual, step by step, self honoring journey of oneself. I'm guessing, am I right?

Rosemary Rose Blaum: Oh, absolutely. And you know, in life, every time we go somewhere, there's a waiting room. I go to the doctors, a new doctor tomorrow. They say be there 30 minutes early. We have to wait at red lights. We have to wait, wait, wait, wait for the. If you're picking up your kids, you're in a long line, and you wait in line at the grocery store always when you're in a rush. Never the express when you don't need it, but I think what happens is we forget it's like Carolyn said it's a journey. It's there's little small steps that get us there, and embrace the journey. It may not be very comfortable, and it but everything is a building block, and every piece of that block fits together. Some things we think there's no way, there's no way that I'm supposed to have gone through this, but yet when you say, "Okay, let me see where did it bring me, and why did it bring me here, and what can I do about it? And what can my response be to this event that has occurred in my life, so that the outcome can be controlled and and molded to the benefit of those around me and myself, based on my response to what is happening in life, you know, I've gone through several job careers where I was value engineered out, or you know, say, okay, we we we're going to go a different route, and I had to start all over again. And I thought, oh, this is awful. But I look back now, and I think it would. I wouldn't be talking to you. I wouldn't be here. It

was divinely portrait. It was divinely timed. You know, well, there's there there's a place in a woman's life, and this can happen in your 20s, 30s, 50s, six. 50s, 60s, 70s at any time, and you can actually come to a place of acceptance. That my entire life has been designed specifically for me, not against me. I accept it, I own it, and I honor it, and I know that those experience built my own internal strength of character. It taught me about me. It showed me actually who I am. So this conversation is so profound, and I want the audience to realize there are solutions. There are answers. It's a willingness to let go of control. It's a willingness. I had a phrase that I said to myself for a whole year: "Let go to lead. So every day I'd say, "Okay, Carolyn, what will you let go of today. What is it? What will you release? What will you let go of? What will you understand that that doesn't matter, really, in the bigger picture of what matters to you in your life? And so it became relationships. It became thinking patterns. It became, you know, resistance to what giving myself permission to have this great life. So, tell me about how women can implement some of your unique process and system that you take them through. What what are just a few practical, Understandable, implementable steps that they can start from.

Rosemary Rose Blaum: That is perfect question. You know, I have a a dear mentor and friend, Birch Loin Smith. She taught me something that I'm going to share with you: trust and allow, and don't ask how.

Okay, go all the hell. Don, stop the bus. Pause. Time out. So I want you to say that because I want the audience for for it to land. I want you to say it three times, and I want the audience to just take a breath, and I want you to close your eyes. I want you to listen to this message. I want it to land in your soul. Okay, you go ahead and you say it again three times, please, Rosemary.

Rosemary Rose Blaum: Trust and allow. Don't ask how. Trust and allow, and don't ask how. You can do it. You can. You can trust and allow. Oh, Miss Cal, how will come?

It will come. Beautiful. I I have something similar that that I say to myself, and I journal every day. Dearest God, I do one page, and then I do a video recording, so I can really see where I am. And is that my authentic self, or is that a mask? Is that so? I really track in in living this way too. And and

Rosemary Rose Blaum: now it's funny when you I have to say with what you just said to put this these work. Really great when you're in a solar eclipse because that's what they're for, but they're not good to wear every single day. And we go around and we can't see. We're like the horses with the little blinders on the side, so they won't see what's happening because we get so frazzled, and yet if we just trust it aloud and let God talk to us in our soul, into our being, and say, you know, it's just one step at a time. This may not be where you thought you wanted to be in life, and it may not feel very comfortable. But you can get through this, and you can turn it around to the other side. You know, one of the things that Carolyn is so ingrained in with her methods is the aim high method that she teaches to a lot of people, and one of the points that I like to think about with that method, Carolyn, is better to aim high and to miss than to aim low and to hit. And I know she knows that, but so just go for it, ladies. You can do this.

So this is so good. This is so potent. This is so much the truth, and and I want to share three words that I have said over and over and over in my mind. And the first, it's going to add to what you said that this beautiful woman told you. So my three words are: ask, allow, and receive.

Rosemary Rose Blaum: Oh well, say

no. So that's it. That's

Rosemary Rose Blaum: the message for today, ladies. That's it.

I know. I know. So here's the piece that I had the hardest time with. Well, two pieces, all three at certain times in my life, but anyway, so it's the asking. So I thought I could do everything on my own. Oh

Rosemary Rose Blaum: yeah,

I thought I was a superwoman. I thought I can, I can live through this. I can do this on my own. And what an illusion that was! It was not the truth. And when I made this humble human decision, that when I'm off track, when I'm not aiming higher, when I have fallen below the line in doubt, fear, resentment, anger, or when I'm stuck, is when I call in a lifeline. I ask for help. I ask for support, and I've set up those women, so when I when I text them and say 911, they know they better call me that day because they're the ones that help me transition through to the truth and show me who I actually authentically am and remind me that to remember who I am, and it's so beautiful and sacred and meaningful. And I want to ask the audience: you know, if you don't have someone in your life like that, make a goal of a decision to start a relationship with another woman by speaking truth. Talk about what struggles are. Talk about your pain. Talk about what's hard. Be vulnerable, and then they will be, and then this loving intimacy starts forming over time, and they become one of your dream team, one of your lifelong loving leadership support system. So you can call in that lifeline when you need it, turn it on a dime. I mean, I can turn things around recently because I something threw me right to the ground. I mean, I was ground, and within 20 minutes, I was back ground who I am only through the love,

only through the guidance, only through the truth of receiving, asking, and then allowing, and then receiving that support. So, you know, a lot of people are lonely in this world too. I want to come to that right now too, and they they feel lost, and you know, it's a decision to be lonely. It truly is, and you know, show up with your love, show up with your kindness, your thoughtfulness. As you know, people can be lonely in a relationship, and people can be lonely alone. But it's it's also a choice. So whatever you give is what you receive. I mean, that's life, isn't it, Rosemary?

Rosemary Rose Blaum: Yeah, you know, if we ask ourselves when we get up in the morning, who can I bless today? Who can I give a smile on their face at the grocery store? The someone that. You can tell maybe they don't get any compliments. Oh, I love the I love that color on you. That's a beautiful dress. Or gee, you have a great smile. Little things like that. It all of a sudden, you know what's going to happen. You're going to forget about all the things you're going through, and you're going to be so blessed because it is so much better to give than to receive. You receive so much back, ladies. You can you can get get up. Don't feel like oh, I've been a single mom my whole life, just about my entire life. I had an ex husband that was the alcoholic, so he wasn't around for me for the my son. But that's okay. I begrudged it at first, and then I thought, why am I doing that? I don't want. It's okay. I can I can do this if God's given me the ability to be able to to work with a special needs child for the rest of my life, then I can do this. And you know, it's a blessing to just wake up in the morning and think, what can I do to be to share my light with other people?

Because it's the light of love that shines the way for the darkness for others. We have no idea what a smile can do. I mean, I go on a jog 5k every day. There's a little Asian woman. I don't know her name. She's got a beautiful mauve tam. She's four foot nothing. She's she's absolutely cute, adorable. He shuffled, and she's got her her wool coat that matches her 10, and she says to every single person she goes by, "Good morning, have a good day. So now I beat her to it. I come up behind her, running, and I'll turn around and go, "Good morning, have a good day. And then now we're at a place after a year and a half. Now I get to high five her. She makes my day, that woman, and I know I make hers. And she's changed every person's life along that five-kilometer ocean path by sharing her love with them. She's the most joyous, teeny, beautiful Asian woman. I don't even know her name, but every day I see her, and and if she's walking towards me, I do crazy things. I go, "Hey, like this, and she just laughs. And you know that's what we're meant to do in this lifetime.

Rosemary Rose Blaum: And how do you feel after that? You

feel I love it. It makes my day. I mean, you know, I'm in lots of rooms every day on Zoom. I mean, I teach, I guide, I do everything, and I talk about her.

Rosemary Rose Blaum: Yeah,

she doesn't even know it, and she made my day.

Rosemary Rose Blaum: Yeah. So

I just want to bring this to the audience that we have this opportunity as a love-inspired leader to take on that level of responsibility, even if our life is challenging. We're dealing with incredible obstacles, you know, health-wise, relationship-wise, business-wise, financial-wise, everything. We can still connect with that inner part of ourselves that can share that love, that thoughtfulness, that kindness, that intentional action to really impact other people's lives. And watch-it's what you said. Watch your inner dialog change. Watch how you feel shift, because that's the truth. So, and the ripple effect is far beyond. Like that Asian woman has the idea that I talk about her to you know hundreds and hundreds of people around the world. She doesn't have a clue, and I just I just love her, and she knows, and she's doing it. You know. So, in your work, how can people get a hold of you? Do you have a gift for my audience? Can you share that with us?

Rosemary Rose Blaum: I do. I do. I have two PDFs. One is on living in alignment: how to reflect onto your life and reinforce, reflect, and recommit, and I have that for you. And I have another one: Are you living your true, authentic life? When and questions on that, I have questionnaire, and I want you to print this. We'll put it in the podcast show notes. Yep, I'll give it. Give you anything else you need, any support, encouragement. I would love to connect with you and keep Carolyn is a fabulous person. Just keep coming back because she's going to keep giving more and more and more, and it's all about having our life be enriched. So. That we can go out and enrich others is a very

thank you. Oh my goodness, this went by so fast. So I want to thank you for saying yes to be on the Love Inspired Leadership podcast. I love your wisdom. I love your dedication, and I love your gentleness and tenderness and kindness too. And I, I see you and I feel you. And for those women that are called, please reach out to Rosemary because she she has some answers for you. So feel free to watch this episode once again to listen to it through. But for my audience, I have my gift, as you know. And if this is the first time that you've joined us on this podcast. I'd like to let you know that I have my 21-day sacred journey of above the line living. So it's a recording that'll drop in your email box, and some reflections, some journal prompts as well. And it's really about supporting you to be all you can be, and to live with purpose, presence, inner peace, and live as a love-inspired leader. So that's my gift to you. So, thank you, Rosemary, and until next time to my audience, I look forward to you circling back to the love-inspired leadership podcast. Take good care. Thank you.